Single Mom You Aren’t Alone: Becoming A Single Woman of Purpose
By: Tamara D. McCarthy
I absolutely loved this book! As a young woman who became a mother at a young age pregnant at 15 now 21, this was exactly what I needed at the moment. I don’t really have anyone telling me what I’m doing right when the world looks at me as if everything I do is wrong since I became a mother a such a young age. Reading this book brought me to understand a couple things.
First; I haven’t taken care of myself. By that I don’t mean eating properly and exercising (which I don’t do) I mean mentally, emotionally, & spiritually. I put everyone first. Men, my family, my friends. I would stretch myself out so far and just say to myself, “I am content because someone else is happy. I put that smile on their face.” Not realizing that was also pride. Pride, I battle with daily.
Second thing this book brought to my attention; it doesn’t matter what I do, there will always be something I haven’t done correctly. Somewhere I won’t measure up to the bar, according to someone who isn’t me. Who hasn’t lived my life. But, more importantly someone who isn’t MY God.
I don’t need to focus on what someone thinks of me. I shouldn’t care if I seem like I’m, “prude” because I won’t open my mouth or legs for someone. Who cares if I already have a son. Is that supposed to mean I get on my knees because you acknowledged my existence ? Lol, I think not!
Great thing about this book was that I was able to write my own personal thoughts and experiences in it. I liked that so much because in almost all of my books I take them to heart. I highlight, underline, and make personal notes in them. So, the fact that it was encouraged in this one really put the icing on the cake for me, personally. As if this book was made specially for me.
One of my favorite parts of the book was when the author talked about the need to forgive. Forgiving herself for her past, for not having the will power to say no to end something, to pay attention to warning signs. Also, acknowledging her own faults. Not playing the victim and screaming, “This isn’t my fault. I didn’t make this baby on my own.”
I’ve had to deal with that for the past five years with my own situation. But, then I realized so what if he’s not here? My son is AMAZING and though he is huge (which he gets from his father) he has the kindest heart and is so gentle. He intelligence surpasses children his age. And though he was born 3 months early his doctors say he’s well above average and is functioning perfectly. Now, that is all God!
I also experience a, “This is from God” moment while reading this book. The night before I started reading (Chapter 12: I’m So Sorry) I literally just broke it off with a guy I’d been sleeping with for months. I didn’t want to end it but, I thought to myself, “How can you lead this group of teenage girls toward God & teach them about the consequences of fornication before marriage and turn around engage in it with this boy who clearly wasn’t a man because if he was he’d respect and value you and wait to make an honest woman of you? So, I cut him off. And, the morning after I was doing a fast with my life group at church as we do every first Wednesday, started reading the book and BAM! Confirmation from the Lord God Almighty! Slapped me right in the face.
I strongly suggest & encourage any woman even if you aren’t a single mom like myself, to read this book. But don’t just read it. When you’re readying the prayers in then say them out loud this is your personal time with your, Father the God of the universe. The God who created everything is putting everyone and everything on hold to spend time with you. Take advantage. You don’t have to climb some rock in China to be with him. He is with us. Heaven is here, God bless you. Nailah Y.
From the time that I have known Tamara, she has always been a beacon of light, not only to her children but to those around her. To me, she is a second mother; in the moments where my mother or others fell short or were unable to relate and support me effectively, Tamara filled that and continues to do so. The words that she speaks in her book, “Single Mothers You Aren’t Alone: Becoming A Single Woman of Purpose”, are not crafted words set to fill the pages of a book to sell, but genuine messages of hope, encouragement, and principles that she exudes. During my junior year of college, I became pregnant, and immediately following that discovery I sought to put him up for adoption. I saw a counselor and looked for potential families, but in my third trimester Tamara’s wisdom through her daughter is one of reasons that moved me to keep my son and become a parent. When she tells in her book, that everything that we single mothers seek to do is obtainable and to know that someone else has overcome the difficulties, she speaks from experience and a heart for other single mothers. I had no one to look to in my family, because I was the first to go to college; but I witnessed Tamara raise up five children and finish secondary education, and it was her action coupled with her words that empowered me to not only finish school but finish it to the best of of my abilities while being a single mother. Her words and work kept me, when the fear and anxiety stirring up from unplanned pregnancy began to handicap me from my potential. Angela H.