Living in Someone Else’ World: Written by Eniola Olaosebikan
I remember many years ago, when I was a teenager, there was this guy who I seemed to be all over, and who I thought was all over me too until my ‘delusioned’ mind opened. This guy would tell me a lot of things which- I with a little fight and resignation to fate- would believe. A lot of times, 80% were negative, 5% perhaps a little true, and the remaining 15% all about his own supposed awesomeness.
Prior to meeting him, I’d read quite a number of books about love; but you see- the test of life really does not care about how much you know, but how much you can efficiently put to good use when the storm arrives. This guy would tell me how very thin I was (even though I was nothing but petite, healthy, very beautiful; full of life and ambition) and how lucky I was to have him. He would then go on a self-rant of righteousness, telling me, and perhaps himself- how tall, dark and handsome he is. He was my first boyfriend- my first love experience outside family and I quite foolishly believed everything he said hook, line and sinker.
This guy despite the things that are good about me would only point me to the bad, or better still, the one he sees as bad in his own eyes. And sad enough, I would believe him with a sense of urgency, and as a result, would do all I could so as to be right in his eyes. I would eat a lot, and even binge, just to look good in his eyes; I would literally work my butt off to satisfy and normalize the things he said were ‘bad’ about me, but no matter how much I did, how much weight I put on, he just seemed not to see it. And times it became too obvious to ignore, he would go to the next thing ‘wrong’ and nag and nag about it till it goes and another one surfaces.
Essentially, almost all my teenage life, I lived in his world. His words virtually became my final destination- what I rested on and accepted as my truth. Anything he said, I tried to show a defiance in his face but alone in my room, I’m ‘chewing’ over the words, sad a bit and accepting them as my truth.
Everything bad he said about me seemed normal and true until quite some years later, I met another man who felt so insulted I thought I was thin and as a result- unattractive. I was quite shocked. I thought that was the way I looked to everybody because up to that moment, I’d seen the world through the first guy’s eyes without any questioning. For what seemed to be the first time, I thought twice and I saw myself in a different light. Quite sad it took me having both men at different points and stages in my life to determine what my truth would be and to realize I was being fed lies all along. Meeting the second guy and talking with him for the few moments we shared changed my perspective, and then I personally realized that someone’s thought of me doesn’t necessarily have to be my own thought of me!- Whoa! What a relief! I am not what anybody says I am- I am who I see myself to be, and most especially- who God says I am. I am beautiful, bold and courageous. If no one sees it, it’s my duty to see it and acknowledge it, never allowing anybody put me down because of what he or she sees or thinks about me.
For anyone currently going through a similar situation (perhaps in your place of work, family, friendship, relationship, etc), this would be my charge-
• Nobody made you in the first place, so nobody is allowed to degrade you. If at all anybody wants to make you better, it should be done out of love and never in a way that makes you feel insecure about yourself. Do not allow anybody define who (they think) you are through their limited and stereotype way of seeing life.
• It might be time to check your life and check the voices speaking into your life, especially those you believe. It’s time to challenge every thought, voice and stronghold that exalts itself against the true knowledge of God in your life: voices that tells you all the things you are not and all the things God in His Graciousness and thoughtfulness has not created you to be. I dare you to take a closer look. You might think you have it all together, but might not really do. I thought I did too! Especially with the many ‘volumes’ of books I read about love and how it should be prior to my first unchallenged experience. Sometimes, in living in our own denial, we think we are living in the truth. I implore you not to fall a victim of living in someone else’ life and vision of/for you. Live in your own world- the world God created you to be in, and dominate it. Do not let another person’s world dominate and overwhelm the light of own world. Fill your world with the Word of God and the truth it says about you. Let it be your final destination.
• Do not accept everything people says about you without challenging it (2 Corinthians 10:5 -AMP) lest they form strongholds in your life. Consciously choose the words you would accept from people as your truth and the ones you wouldn’t.
Any imagination that does not align with God’s thought of you is a stronghold and it should be pulled down no matter where it is coming from. Nobody has the right to pull you down. They never made you in the first place so why should they have such definitive power over you? He who made you says you are wonderfully and fearfully made- who dares says otherwise???
• Do not be desperate for validation such that you would accept just anything from anybody. Know who you are by knowing who God says you are. Seek His will and view of you. Let Him be the only one whose approval matters; not what anyone who was also made says, and sometimes not what you yourself think. You are a treasure to the One who made you and He is not joking a bit about your life. You are the apple of His eyes!
• Above all, know that you are loved and cherished; you are worthy of being loved and living a great life. How do I know? Your birth tells me so. God fashioned you and made sure you were given birth to so He could showcase you as yet one of his many but unique masterpieces.
You are priceless to He that made you. You are royalty- think and carry yourself that way. Your father owns the world- Including the person pulling you down!
Conclusively, you are who and what God says you are, not who and what anybody says, especially the negative uncalled-for remarks.
If God says you are precious, then you are. Nothing else. Look into His Word and find out who you are. When you do, hold it at the center of your heart and do not let it go. If God says (like He says in Isaiah 60:3) that gentiles shall come to your light and kings to the brightness of your rising- then He means it (as long as you follow Him closely and you do your part as commanded per time). To crown it up- let Joshua 1:8 be your guide. Do not let His Word depart from your mouth and heart. Meditate on it day and night and therein you shall find good success. Actively reading and Mediating on God’s Word allows you to know who you are and who God is too. You know His nature and how much of it you have in you…
You really should live in your world- the world God has decorated and specifically fashioned for you; and not someone else world or what he or she thinks primarily of you- good or bad. Know who you are for sure and accept nothing less.
With much love-