The Surprising Truth About Being Single.

So, you’re probably wondering what this surprising truth is? Well, I think we all as individuals have that surprising truth that will make others shake their heads in disbelief. I think it really depends on where you are mentality and if you’ve been keeping yourself busy. Some people may be lonely, they may be out there going on dates each and every weekend, they may be sleeping around, they may be juggling more than one person along; I can go on and on but let me tell you about my surprising truths.

And, it also depends on if you have dealt with any past issues; in your life. As well, as past relationships! For me, one of the surprising truths is: that I am not lonely! Why do people assume that you’re lonely if you’re single? Lol, I’m an introvert; so being single bothers me not one bit! I love my peace and quiet! And coming out of domestic violence relationships; I very well needed and enjoy a stress-free lifestyle. Who likes getting punched around and called all kinds of un-pretty names? Not me!


Coming out of bad relationships; you want to take some time for yourself to work through everything that you experienced; so, it doesn’t repeat itself in the next relationship. Why jump right into the next relationship and you haven’t healed from the previous one first? Everyone goes through different experiences so yours may not match mine but taking whatever issue it was into a new relationship; just spells disaster; especially if that person has it together and even if they don’t; the outcome may not be pretty.

When you do your work; you’re able to pick up on signs and signals early on and will have a clear mind; to make the right decision on how to proceed.

trails and tribulations

Back to the surprising truth; people that don’t know your full story of why you’re single in the first place; will assume and jump to conclusions!  Not too long ago an acquaintance of mine sent me a video and the video insisted that I would be single for the rest of my life; if I continued to wait on God. Now, this older lady knows that I am a Christian; knows that I am an author; but hasn’t read any of my books. But, decided to send me this video that went against everything that I believed! Now I haven’t responded to her because some people simply don’t warrant a response.  She claims to be a Christian as well, but her behavior and speech doesn’t always match up.


The video went on to say a number of things that I won’t even repeat; but this woman would’ve known this video wouldn’t seat well with me. When you take the time to get to know people on a personal level you know how to approach them! I believe that whomever my husband will be; will Find ME!! That’s what the Bible says: Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (NIV)

I am not part of that foolish that is going on with women asking men to marry them!! You will not hear that mess come out my mouth! I don’t care who he is!! I don’t care how times have changed! I am still old fashioned!! Men ask Women to marry Them!!

Adam chose EVE!! Yes, God created HER, but Adam had to Like What He Saw!! Genesis 20:21-22So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (NIV) 

Can you imagine going through guy after guy to find the one that will eventually like and want to fall in love with you? Look, I been on that downward spiral before; its time consuming; I have more meaningful things to do with me time! Like raise my kids! Who’s going to raise them; if I’m in the streets chasing after Grown Boys?

Not all of us are Godly Women; I get that, and everyone has their opinion and we all have a choice! But, we have to do better at approaching and assuming! Have a conversation with people; get to know who they are, what they believe, share your testimony, lend your hear; share some encouraging words!

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Some other reasons I am single; I don’t want all these strange men around my kids. Your kids see and mimic what you do! I wrote about it in one of my books; of wanting to break the cycle! I don’t want my kids to live the life that I was living when I had them! I want them to see a different; more cleaner version of me! We, as a family are at our happiest and I don’t want to mess that up! When we as women get into a relationship and it turns violent; our kids see that! How do you think that is going to impact their lives? Why continue if you know it can affect them? If I have to be single until they are all grown; then so be it! They got pedophiles out here who will play on your emotions just to get to your kids! My kid’s safety outweighs my happiness! As women we can sometimes be blinded to the things that are happening right in front of us because we think we are happy and have this awesome person in our lives.

Many of us lose our way when we get into the wrong relationships! We only have one life; why waste it on people who are only out to use and abuse you? When we wait on the right person to come into our lives; we are able to work on ourselves and whatever gifts we have been blessed with! I never would’ve imagined being an author of 16 books and counting, writing a blog that reaches people internationally, being able to speak life into other women that have been in similar situations as me, being able to change my life from bad to good, being able to be single and happy for over 11 years; I can really keep going but I think you get my point!


I am not going to allow anyone to push me back into an old lifestyle! I am not going to allow anyone to hinder my growth! I am not going to allow anyone to diminish my shine! I am not going to allow anyone to box me in! When I said Yes to God, I didn’t fully know everything I was getting into! I didn’t know the attacks would be many; people who don’t know you and your story will came at you from every direction. Be ready and be on guard! When you decide that you want Better for your life; people will take that as a personal insult; they will look at you like you believe you are better than them! I don’t believe I am better than anyone; I just want to be My Best Version of Myself! 

So, you see; the Surprising Truth About Being Single depends on You. Where are you at in your journey? You may be tired, you may be ready to just marry the next person that speaks to you; we all have a story to tell. What’s yours?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy
©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.
I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Check out my books on Amazon:

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Inspiration to Live a Better Life... (4)Inspiration to Live a Better Life... (5)


The Condition of Your Heart: Valentine’s Day Edition……

How is the condition of your heart? So many people want to be loved and in love; but very few check the condition; of their heart!

heart tree

How do you know if you’re up for the task if you don’t check the condition; of your heart?

Have you been hurt?

Have you been mistreated?

Have you ever been in love before?

How would you recognize love versus lust?

How would your heart react if the love wasn’t mutual?

Does Your Heart Skip a Beat?

The heart is sensitive and requires attention to keep it in proper working order!


So, tell me; how your does heart react when you think you’re in love? Does it skip a beat? Is that normal? A article I recently read over on says this:

“It’s normal for your heart to race when you are nervous or excited or to skip or add a beat once in a while”. To read the full article go here;

So if it’s normal for your heart to skip a beat; how do you know that you are really in love? Just think about that for a second…..what have you come up with?

How should you be treated when in love?

How should you treat others when in love?

What does love look like?

How does love make you feel?

heart emoji

So many people fall in and out of love way too quickly; it makes you wonder if they were really in love! This week as Valentines Day approaches; countless people will be buying roses, candies, jewelry; etc but are they really in love or just going with the flow? Why do I ask this question? Because for many of them next week; they will have an entirely different boo!

What is Love?

Love isn’t something that can be bought! It has to be nurtured. Love isn’t something that can be turned on or off; it requires constant attention. Just like your heart!

In the Bible; in the book 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 it says this about Love: “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (NIV)

So are you really in love or in lust?

vday gifts

Check out this article from Psychology Today:


Do you love yourself? Self-love starts with you! Can you look in the mirror and smile at the person looking back at you? Can you tell her or him 5 things that you love about them?

1. I love that you stand up for yourself and those around you!

2. I love that your eyes sparkling when you smile or laugh!

3. I love that you have a passion for other people and seeing them prosper!

4. I love the skin that protects every part and inch of the body that God gave you!

5. I love that you love you; so others will find it hard not too!

What 5 things did you come up with? If you couldn’t come up with those 5 things; how can you expect or demand that someone else does? Self-love can’t take the place of someone loving or lusting after you!

What did you learn from reading this article? Did you get you any closer to knowing the true meaning of love? Self-love? How others should treat you when in love? How you should treat yourself? Did you finally realize that there is someone that loves you completely and unapologetically? When you know and accept the Love that God has for you; you won’t allow others to offer you their cheap and watered down version; lust!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. John 3:16 (NIV)

“But now, this is what the Lord says he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: and

Join my Facebook group:

Check out my books on Amazon:

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!