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Why Are You Here?

Matthew 5:1-16

Jesus gave His disciples a PEP TALK….

Jesus never missed out on an opportunity to TEACH His disciples! He knew he wouldn’t physically be with them forever, so He wanted to equip them to be effective when He departed from them!

He never shied away from speaking life into them; encouraging, motivating and empowering them to do the same things that he was able to do. But he also let them know when they were slacking off and not being who he had called them to be!

He wanted to let them know while he was training them to be fishers of men that it wouldn’t be an easy task. The road wouldn’t be easy; they would encounter many trials and tribulations on their journey; but he wanted to instill in them that they were above all that they would encounter.; and no matter how it looked or how it felt! He would always be with them!

As children of the Most High God this still applies to us this very day! The same words that Jesus spoke to His disciples have the same effect and power today! No matter your situation or circumstance; you’re still BLESSED! No matter what you’re going through when you’re living for more of God and less of you; You’re still Blessed!! But guess what?

As Children of God; we are the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World! We will have to be the light not only for ourselves but for those around us too. We will have to share our trials and tribulations as well as our revelations. How can we be called to be the light and salt of the world; yet won’t help our brother and sister along the way? How are we to go through life and not shine our light throughout? Our testimony can be the very thing that someone else needs to hear to get their breakthrough!

Everyone won’t understand what they are going through especially those that are called “babes in Christ”. I wish I had someone who pulled me aside when I first became saved/a born again Christian-When I got baptized my first and second time and tell me young lady this journey won’t be easy, but you keep pushing. The enemy will be hot on your trail, but you keep pushing. This journey to be a sheep-a servant-a chosen and willing vessel-for the Kingdom of God; won’t always be bright and sunny; But You Keep Pushing!

Salt by itself isn’t that appealing but when it is partnered with the right ingredients-the right words-the right motives-the right intentions-the results are God driven and not Human driven—we have endless examples of Willing Vessels shining their light and sprinkling salt when needed to get Kingdom results-just as they paved the way for us; we have to pave the way for others by shining our light.

We will have to take a stand on practices that aren’t of God—as well as people-places-things that don’t line up with the word of God. Everyone doesn’t represent the Kingdom of God; many are lovers of darkness that have crept into the House of God and they are on assignment to try and get you on their team; get you off track- and out of the will of God; but be on guard and don’t allow them to overtake you.

We all have to learn to shine brighter than our problems; our emotions and especially our haters. This is why it is so vital for us as Children of God to stay in His word; speak His word and live His word!

We are to be the light of the world; we should be front and center shining our light all over the world!

We should be taking others under our wing and showing them the proper way to do things. The proper way of living for God! The proper way to represent God! We can’t assume that they are observing us from afar.

Older women should be mentoring the younger women/girls making sure our walk with God is on point!

Older men should be mentoring the younger men/boys and making sure their walk with God is on point.

Aren’t we all supposed to be obedient to God? From what I read I don’t see where any of us are exempt. Some think since they have reached a certain age their time is done; they paid their dues; why are you Here? Why are you still coming into God’s house if you don’t want to be used by him? He doesn’t need you to just show up because you got a new dress or a new suit; he is still looking for willing vessels; will you be one? Abraham and Sarah both thought their time was up: but God still used them!

God knows his children! He knows the ones he can give certain tasks and assignments too! God is seeking out those that will be obedient; not only look the part, he has enough of those roaming around; he wants those that will answer the call and take action. He doesn’t need any more bench warmers he wants those that are ready to carry the torch! Be the light in a dark and gloomy world and isn’t afraid of going up against the big bad wolf!

Some of us lukewarm Christians only want surface Jesus! Just enough of him to get by. But God requires Total Surrender! That requires US giving Him OUR all!

What are you doing in your life that is a reflection in the God you claim to serve?

Just you coming to church every Sunday sitting in the pews and giving your Amen here and there; putting your $20 in the collection plate; that doesn’t warrant a life running after Jesus; wanting more of God!

You want God to bless and heal you, but you won’t give Him access to your life. You keep him at bay until an emergency comes up and that’s when you start crying out to Him? That’s when you start asking everyone to pray for you? Why not be proactive and talk and pray to God each and every day? Why not Give Him full access into your life? Isn’t that what Jesus did? Every chance He got He was going away by himself to have quiet time to commune and talk with God! I remember seeing these words that Jesus spoke in Luke 22:42 “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will; but thine, be done” All Jesus wanted to do was the work of His Father; All He wanted was to complete the assignment He was sent here to do! If Jesus did it why can’t you?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Father’s Day Inspired: #SpiritualSundays

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God”. Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

Why do we continue to push things under the rug? Where are the perfect father’s? Does every boy/man that impregnates a woman stick around and take care of their full responsibility? Children don’t care about their parent being perfect; they just want your presence in their life!

Social media has allowed people to become more vocal about many things they know nothing about and don’t care to hear the other side of! Everyone has their say so and they don’t want to hear your opinion on it or care about your feelings! When did we become such an heartless society?

Every child in this world doesn’t have both parents that are physically/mentally/emotionally/financially in their lives! That’s a proven fact! When holidays roll around like Mother’s and Father’s Day people just assume that it’s all good and just want you to go with the flow; not going to happen.

It’s always fine to bash women and not the men; I never got this and probably never will. We are given a choice clearly; but, does anyone really make the right choice?

It’s no secret that men will sleep with anyone and when they do that; babies can/will be produced; is it the women’s fault? Should she be left to raise, protect, guide, discipline, comfort, nurture; etc all on her own? Is that biblical? Even Hagar got some assistance in the raising up of her child!

While there are many great father’s out there in this world! There are even more sperm donors who have skipped out on their responsibility of being a man/father and following what the Bible says in Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. (NIV)

Where in that scripture does it speak on women/mothers? Father’s are necessary and a requirement in their children’s’ lives!! But when there is a lack; women have no choice but to step in/step up and handle what they weren’t built for; but are willing and able to do!

Society has taking a stand on not allowing single mothers their due diligence even though they are a stand in to the absence of a male figure in their child(ren) lives! They are quick to tell individuals that give honor to single moms on a day designed for fathers; that it’s not for them to celebrate! But then fail to offer any ample solutions to aid them in what’s lacking in their son’s or daughter’s lives! How can you outwardly disregard something you obviously know nothing about; but show up to speak on?

No matter what the world says; children need both of their parents!! Women all over the world step into a role they clearly know nothing about; but have been placed in the position to figure it out as they go along. Yes, today was designed for the men who have followed the instructions from the book of Ephesians but can we not turn a blind eye to all the countless children growing up not ever knowing the love from their earthly father! Can you think on that for just a moment? Do you remember what the book of Corinthians says about love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to be exact! They will never get this! Can you imagine not feeling the love of someone who aided in your being alive? Just think about that? What if God turned His back on you; how would you feel?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Dear Future Husband: #SpiritualSundays

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)

Let’s start by getting the obvious out of the way; everyone isn’t cut out for marriage!! While many have the desire to get married; you need another willing candidate to complete the union!

Women; your husband should choose you! The man should find you! Christian Women; your husband should choose you and ask you to marry him. Men; you should be asking the woman to marry you; not the other way around!

There seems to be some switch in how it is traditionally done and many have adopted this “new age” option that it’s okay for a woman to ask a man; to marry them! I’m sorry but I’m old school and still believe in the man asking the woman to marry him and scripture backs that up!

I did a podcast recently on my thoughts in more detail on this subject! You can listen here: https://anchor.fm/tamara06/episodes/Marriage–Family-Part-1-e3ls0j

As a woman that has the desire to be married; to be a wife; are you preparing yourself? As a man that has the desire to be married; to be a husband; are you preparing yourself? Have you cleared out all the clutter that you’ve picked up and stored over the years? Have you detached yourself from the soul ties that are clinging on for dear life because they don’t want to let go? Don’t you think this is important before you make a lifetime commitment to someone else? Don’t you think you should be free emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically from all the other people that have come through your life; that you’ve slept with and had intimate relations with?

My personal opinion is yes! Why bring old baggage into a new relationship? Why wouldn’t you take the time to get free? So many men and women don’t take the take to detach or heal and they jump right into another relationship!

Biblically as children of God; if you’re single you shouldn’t be sleeping around; but many of us do! Some of us finally decide to part from our wicked ways and ask God for forgiveness and make the commitment to be sex-free until marriage!

Is it easy; for some; no but it can be done! It has to be a personal decision! For me it became easier because my Faith began to outweigh everything else! I know and believe that God wants me to have the desires of my heart and that He only wants to give me His best!

Temptation is a beast and if you don’t find ways to handle it; it will overtake you each and every time! The enemy knows what you like and he will stop at nothing to get you out of order! But you have to be strong and courageous and out smart him! You have to want and believe that God has greater in store for you and stop falling for the enemy’s version of what appears good at that time!

For men; women will throw themselves at you if they see and believe you are going places; especially if you are walking in or towards your God-given purpose! All of them aren’t doing it because they actually like or want you! They are on assignment from the enemy and you know what his sole purpose is.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. John 10:10 (NKJV)

The same applies for women! If the enemy sees you beginning to get your life on track and you’re on your God given path; then he will throw in some distractions, some road blocks and some illusions to get you off track; stay focused.

Marriage isn’t a walk in the park! It’s going to require commitment to making it work and both parties being equally yoked and on one accord! You both have to be working towards the same objective and your mindsets should be connected and in unison. This is why you can’t marry for reasons outside of what God designed marriage for!

You can’t marry for financial gain! God can take it all away in the blink of an eye! You can’t marry for their outward appearance only; because that doesn’t last! You can’t marry because their sex game is tight; they’ll get old one day and won’t be able to lay it down anymore! You can’t marry because you don’t want to be alone because they can easily walk away and never look back!

This is where the first scripture I shared comes into play; Proverbs 18:22! When you choose the right person that God has designed specifically for you; then everything else has already been added into the equation!! God is only going to send/present you with His best!

“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

“Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23 (NKJV)

If you’re walking in your purpose and connect with someone that God didn’t send or create specific to you; then what happens? When the attack’s start to come in; are they equipped to handle them? Do they know where the attack’s are coming from and know how to handle them? These questions are vital! How can a woman or man not designed to be part of your life recognize spiritual warfare; know how to be prepared to block the fiery darts; how to pick up on when someone from the enemies camp has infiltrated your sacred territory?

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 (NKJV)

Dear Future Husband,

I pray you are well and working on becoming a better man; so we can meet one day. I have been working on myself because I want to be the help meet that Our Heavenly Father has designed me to be. I haven’t always been on the right track in my life but I’m getting there and doing my best to stay on track; how about you?

Ladies do you take out the time to pray for your future husband?

Fellas are you praying that you stay on task for God and are walking upright? Are you keeping your mind, body, soul and spirit free from distractions and soul ties? Are you working on getting free from old mindsets and habits you picked up over the years? Have you willingly let go of all the things and people that no longer serve purpose in your life? Are you preparing yourself to be the husband that God has designed you to be?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28 (NKJV)

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#SpiritualSundays: The Process is Necessary

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV)

Getting to the promise land; wasn’t an easy task! The Israelites had to go through the process! Getting to the Cross; wasn’t an easy task! Jesus had to go through the process!

One thing that I love to do is break down the meaning of words; so we all can be on the same page. What does the word process mean?

Definition of process:

“a systematic series of actions directed to some end: to devise a process for homogenizing milk.
a continuous action, operation, or series of changes taking place in a definite manner: the process of decay.”

Both of these definitions give you the meaning of the word process and a visual to aid you in getting the full meaning of the word.

This allows you the ability to know that going through a process isn’t going to be easy! You won’t have that microwave effect; pop it in and in 2 minutes your popcorn kernels are complete and full of flavor! Life and the trials and tribulations you go through won’t have that effect…

The Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years! Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights; they both had to go through their own individual process! The levels of what they had to endure were different; but the outcome were similar in nature. The Israelites were attempting to get to the “Promise Land” and Jesus was on his journey to the “Cross”. Both of these encounters were necessary because it teaches us the path that they each had to take to get to their end result! Their blessing!

But guess what? They had to go through the process! Jesus’ time in the desert wasn’t as extensive has the Israelites because “He was about His Father’s business”, He had been groomed for it..(process)…Jesus didn’t come on the scene; until He was well into His 30’s; what do you think He was doing in that time? Being groomed and processed!

The Israelites had been in captivity for many, many years; they had learned behaviors that had to be unlearned! Removed and burned away! How are you held against your will, taught to bow down to foreign practices and be able to just walk into “The Promised Land” ready to walk into your God given purpose; full of blessings and favor, with old baggage? How are you going to be effective for the Kingdom of God?

So many people; including myself want(ed) the microwave (fast) effect to coming out of captivity (trials-tribulations-wilderness-darkness-etc

We want to lay down one day and wake up the next with a changed attitude, a renewed heart, a new lease on life, favor that was endless and more abundance than we can stand!

But guess what? The process is necessary to remove and discard of everything that you picked up and allowed to attach itself to you along the way!

When Jesus was crucified it was a 3 day process before He rose!! But catch this; He had to go through the process of being tempted, being in the wilderness fasting and praying, raising up His disciples and having many of them turn their backs on Him, turning water into wine, walking on water, casting out demons; I can keep going but I think you get what I’m saying!

Jesus has to do something’s! He had to be processed to be prepared to be crucified and then lifted up!! He had to go through the process to get to His finish line!! His victory dance!!

The Israelites’ process took a little longer; 40 years is a long time to be in the wilderness; but guess what? God took care of them the whole time!! He provided for them; he clothed, fed them and gave them shelter! But guess what? They complained and didn’t want to listen to His instructions! They argued with Moses and Joshua more than they listened and followed instructions!

God gave them the tools necessary to get to the “Promise Land” the keys to open up their destiny but they cried, complained and rejected the “process”..

Were they this defiant when they were in bondage? In captivity? Do you remember them saying that they were better off when they were with their oppressor?

How many of us think that our lives were better when we were living as we wanted to? When we were sinning and fornicating? Going to clubs and grinding all up on people; we didn’t even know? Stealing, cursing, doing and selling drugs, etc.. The enemy loves to hold you captive, remind you of the “good ole days” when you were “free”… How does any of those types of behaviors have you free when you’re being held captive and racking up strong holds, generational curses, and soul ties?

To rid of everything that isn’t of God! You have to go through the process of removing it and cutting it off! Will it be easy? No.. Will it be fun? No… Will you enjoy it? No.. But catch this; it’s all worth it; in the end!!!!!!

Jesus got seated at the right hand of the Father; after His process…The Israelites walked or some may have crawled into the “Promise Land”, their entourage was a little light because of their process; but they eventually got there…if they would’ve got on board sooner than later; their process could’ve been quicker!

How much longer are you going to complain? How much longer are you going to fight the process? How much longer are you going to pout and be disobedient?

Let me be the 1st one to tell you; you are holding up your process! You are holding up your blessings, your favor, your abundance; all because you want to have it your way! Guess what? You have to rid yourself of everything that you carried with you while you were in enemy territory! That baggage has to be disposed of! All those un-godly thoughts and practices you picked up while hanging out with the enemy; has to go!

How can God bless you when you’re trying to figure out ways to flip it and make it multiply? How can God bless you when you thinking of ways to sleep your way to the top? How can God bless you when you scheming to take out your competition?

Anything that is “worth” having is going to come with a process!! You want to be refined! You want to be renewed! Washed in the blood! Come out of the fire; untouched!! You have to go through the process!! The “promise land” comes with obedience, blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice and a burning off of the old man; that old woman!! Are you up for the challenge? The process? The re-awakening? This only happens when you say Yes to Our Heavenly Father..the choice is yours!! What do you choose Life or Death?

References used:

http://www.dictionary.com

http://www.biblegateway.com

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#Spiritual Sunday’s: I Need A Break….

I Need A Break

Scriptures:

Luke 22:42-46 and Matthew 26:36-46

Have you ever gotten to the place where you’ve just cried out to God and said; Lord I need a break?

People need a break from so many things!

People

Places

Things

Responsibilities

Life

Trials & Tribulations

Need I go on?

As a single mom we often need time from being the only one holding up the family and making sure everything is working as it should!

We have multiple responsibilities and it’s not a walk in the park! Many times; we get stuck and lost in the wilderness and need a hand to reach in and pull us out!

We are always sacrificing ourselves and our needs to make sure our child or children have and the household isn’t lacking! Society always wants to slide in and let us know that we cant be a dad because were not male; and I ask the question; if not us then who? I need a break!

Just like single moms needing a break and a chance to catch our breath.

Jesus often times required breaks from his disciplines to get his mind right and have His quiet time with God. Some of you may be asking what did Jesus need a break from?

Jesus not only had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but He had to deal with so much and still train and prepare his disciples to take over when he left them!

He had to endure the pain that 1 of his own would be the one to deceive him and become tempted and sell him out for a few coins! Can you imagine what that felt like?

Just imagine for a moment; that the very ones that you sought out; to go on the most empowering journey of a lifetime; stabbed you in the back! They sought out temporary desires instead of lifetime blessings! They sought out those things that can be here one minute and gone the next! And they forgot that only God can give the things that are everlasting!

Where would you be if God granted Jesus what He was asking? Where would you be if God took that weight of off Jesus’ shoulders?

Is not easy to serve God! I’m going to say this again so that the people in the back can here me! It’s Not Easy to Serve God! If it was easy; everyone would be doing it! Do you know how many people have walked away from God because of people? Church hurt? Because they haven’t studied the word for themselves and someone told them it was going to be easy!

He is going to bless you with cars, clothes and money! But, what many don’t know is that you have to lay down that old life! Walk into a new one with Jesus and the Holy Spirit on each side and God front and center leading the way!

Acknowledging and serving God is two very different things! Anyone can say that they believe in God! But are you living right?

Are you following his commandments? Leviticus 22:31 “Therefore you shall keep My commandments and perform them: I am the Lord.” This isn’t about being perfect either; it’s about being determined and believing that God wants the best for you; that you will have to make some sacrifices to press through. Philippians 3:14 says this: “I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” When the enemy seeks to take you out and sift you like wheat! You are going to have to know how to stand tall!

You will have to be strong and courageous! Joshua 1:7 “Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.” (NKJV)

When the journey looks rough and you feel a break on the way; pray…

Father God I want my life back! I’m tired of living a defeated life! I’m tired of feeling like I’m alone and not loved! I want the enemy to release his hold on my Mind, my Body, my Soul and my Spirit! Right now I want my past to be the past! I want all my thoughts and my emotions from years before to be released in the atmosphere and set free! I no longer want to live in bondage! I want to be free. In Jesus Mighty Name; Amen!!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

The Surprising Truth About Being Single.

So, you’re probably wondering what this surprising truth is? Well, I think we all as individuals have that surprising truth that will make others shake their heads in disbelief. I think it really depends on where you are mentality and if you’ve been keeping yourself busy. Some people may be lonely, they may be out there going on dates each and every weekend, they may be sleeping around, they may be juggling more than one person along; I can go on and on but let me tell you about my surprising truths.

And, it also depends on if you have dealt with any past issues; in your life. As well, as past relationships! For me, one of the surprising truths is: that I am not lonely! Why do people assume that you’re lonely if you’re single? Lol, I’m an introvert; so being single bothers me not one bit! I love my peace and quiet! And coming out of domestic violence relationships; I very well needed and enjoy a stress-free lifestyle. Who likes getting punched around and called all kinds of un-pretty names? Not me!

Coming out of bad relationships; you want to take some time for yourself to work through everything that you experienced; so, it doesn’t repeat itself in the next relationship. Why jump right into the next relationship and you haven’t healed from the previous one first? Everyone goes through different experiences so yours may not match mine but taking whatever issue it was into a new relationship; just spells disaster; especially if that person has it together and even if they don’t; the outcome may not be pretty.

When you do your work; you’re able to pick up on signs and signals early on and will have a clear mind; to make the right decision on how to proceed.

Back to the surprising truth; people that don’t know your full story of why you’re single in the first place; will assume and jump to conclusions! Not too long ago an acquaintance of mine sent me a video and the video insisted that I would be single for the rest of my life; if I continued to wait on God. Now, this older lady knows that I am a Christian; knows that I am an author; but hasn’t read any of my books. But, decided to send me this video that went against everything that I believed! Now I haven’t responded to her because some people simply don’t warrant a response. She claims to be a Christian as well, but her behavior and speech doesn’t always match up.

The video went on to say a number of things that I won’t even repeat; but this woman would’ve known this video wouldn’t seat well with me. When you take the time to get to know people on a personal level you know how to approach them! I believe that whomever my husband will be; will Find ME!! That’s what the Bible says: Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (NIV)

I am not part of that foolish that is going on with women asking men to marry them!! You will not hear that mess come out my mouth! I don’t care who he is!! I don’t care how times have changed! I am still old fashioned!! Men ask Women to marry Them!!

Adam chose EVE!! Yes, God created HER, but Adam had to Like What He Saw!! Genesis 20:21-22 “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (NIV)

Can you imagine going through guy after guy to find the one that will eventually like and want to fall in love with you? Look, I been on that downward spiral before; its time consuming; I have more meaningful things to do with me time! Like raise my kids! Who’s going to raise them; if I’m in the streets chasing after Grown Boys?

Not all of us are Godly Women; I get that, and everyone has their opinion and we all have a choice! But, we have to do better at approaching and assuming! Have a conversation with people; get to know who they are, what they believe, share your testimony, lend your hear; share some encouraging words!

Some other reasons I am single; I don’t want all these strange men around my kids. Your kids see and mimic what you do! I wrote about it in one of my books; of wanting to break the cycle! I don’t want my kids to live the life that I was living when I had them! I want them to see a different; more cleaner version of me! We, as a family are at our happiest and I don’t want to mess that up! When we as women get into a relationship and it turns violent; our kids see that! How do you think that is going to impact their lives? Why continue if you know it can affect them? If I have to be single until they are all grown; then so be it! They got pedophiles out here who will play on your emotions just to get to your kids! My kid’s safety outweighs my happiness! As women we can sometimes be blinded to the things that are happening right in front of us because we think we are happy and have this awesome person in our lives.

Many of us lose our way when we get into the wrong relationships! We only have one life; why waste it on people who are only out to use and abuse you? When we wait on the right person to come into our lives; we are able to work on ourselves and whatever gifts we have been blessed with! I never would’ve imagined being an author of 16 books and counting, writing a blog that reaches people internationally, being able to speak life into other women that have been in similar situations as me, being able to change my life from bad to good, being able to be single and happy for over 11 years; I can really keep going but I think you get my point!

I am not going to allow anyone to push me back into an old lifestyle! I am not going to allow anyone to hinder my growth! I am not going to allow anyone to diminish my shine! I am not going to allow anyone to box me in! When I said Yes to God, I didn’t fully know everything I was getting into! I didn’t know the attacks would be many; people who don’t know you and your story will came at you from every direction. Be ready and be on guard! When you decide that you want Better for your life; people will take that as a personal insult; they will look at you like you believe you are better than them! I don’t believe I am better than anyone; I just want to be My Best Version of Myself!

So, you see; the Surprising Truth About Being Single depends on You. Where are you at in your journey? You may be tired, you may be ready to just marry the next person that speaks to you; we all have a story to tell. What’s yours?

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.
I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Our Very 1st Home….Thank You Jesus!!

Can I brag on My God! God did it! We sometimes want to take credit for the things that happen in our lives! But, I can’t and won’t do that today! Some of us just won’t give credit where it is due! I won’t be one of them!

On 5.11.18 my children and myself were able to secure our very 1st home! That’s a big blessing; one that we can’t take any credit for! So many of us fail to realize that we don’t have total and complete control of what takes place in our lives! Yes, we can get a job and make a bunch of money (some of us) and we can buy all the nice shiny sparkling things; that people will ooh and ahh over but none of that makes any difference if you don’t have God in your life!

Buying a house isn’t a fun and easy process! If you got cold hard cash; then maybe you won’t get the headache! But, when you have to deal with sellers, mortgage companies, banks; etc those headaches are numerous! Your credit score has to be on point! Your bank account has to be at a certain level because you have fees on top of fees you will have to pay out. Did I forget to mention that I didn’t go through one of those 1st time home buyers class? I skipped all over that step; lol! I dove in head first and had no idea what I was getting myself into!

My parents where home buyers before but I was a child when that process took place for the first time; when my dad brought another house years later; he made it seem so easy I didn’t even ask about all the mishaps that could take place. I didn’t tell too many people I was looking to buy because:

I didn’t want to hear any horror stories!
or do you think your ready?
or really; you think you can handle that?
I don’t know if the market is good for that.
or people counting my coins!
and I didn’t want anyone telling me what God couldn’t do!

I don’t know about you but as a Single Mom; people always feel like you don’t have it all together and need their two cents! Now, don’t get me wrong I love some good sound advice but don’t treat me like I haven’t been raising my kids all this time by myself! I know what I can and can’t handle! And I got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a big decision like this I checked with my Heavenly Father first! He knows what the forecast is before any of us even open our eyes!

You see, when we moved into our last apartment 06.08.17 I wrote a note and put it on my prayer wall! It basically was me saying this had to be it with this apartment living! I was done with it! I was tired, my kids were tired and we wanted better for our lives! We grew tired of all the rules that these apartment communities enforced! They basically had the keys to come and go as they pleased while you were paying the rent! Every time we turned around they were having inspections for this and for that; people all up in your living space. You could park here; but you can’t park there! You can have these many guests over and they have to leave at this time! They charged you for everything; gym key, washer and dryer, updated appliances; jeez really! I was putting out so much money and I knew there had to be a better way.

I would often dream about the day when we could have our own; I prayed for it, I put it on my vision boards; until the last vision board that I did, I just felt it was already done! No need to look for and paste these pictures of houses and what they would have inside of it anymore!

We started the journey almost 6 months into living in that last apartment. I called up a friend that also happens to be a realtor and told him I was ready to start looking for a house! I didn’t know chicken squat about what I needed to do or have; I just knew I was ready! He began to send me listings and gave me the name of a guy at the mortgage company and we were on our way! I wish I could tell you that it was smooth sailing; it wasn’t! The whole process was stressful! Any time you want to upgrade your life; the enemy will be on full alert and the attacks will begin! How dare you think that you deserve more? Better? How dare you?

Let me tell you something! I kept on full steam ahead! My Heavenly Father sent his “only begotten son so that we can have life and have it more abundantly” I wasn’t backing down! And you know some may say; well where is this house? Is it up on a hill? Is it 2 stories high? Is it in a gated community? Does it have those high vaulted ceilings? Are there chandeliers hanging throughout? All that is materialistic and isn’t everlasting! God knows I am a simple chic and that the memories we will build here are far more valuable then all that material stuff!

When I walked into this home; I felt at HOME! I didn’t want to leave! I could feel the joy radiating off the walls! I could feel the laughter! I could feel my kids feeling safe and secure! I could feel God blessing us over and over again! We put in an offer and it was accepted! Yes God! But, I have to add there were many houses before this house! Some far more better, had much more land, had even more rooms and space! There was 1 house that was completely renovated! Had the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen and a garage with the exact washer and dryer set I’ve always wanted; but I didn’t have any of those wonderful feelings I experienced in the home we chose! I wasn’t going to settle because my eyes were fascinated at what I saw! The enemy knows what you like; but God knows what you need!

Every morning I get up I still can’t believe it! Our very 1st Home; I could run, yell and scream and not have to worry about anyone living under us calling and complaining about the noise! I don’t have to wait to vacuum until its almost afternoon time because you might disturb the neighbors! The neighborhood is so calm and peaceful! My neighbors are nice and friendly! My kids haven’t fought not once since we moved in! I have an island in my kitchen! Every place we have lived in the past 5 years the kitchen was so small; we all couldn’t fit in there! Our kitchen now can fit all the kitchens from all our past places! Only God!

Let me tell you this if nobody else has: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE GOD IN YOUR LIFE!

I’m still a Single Mom, still haven’t found the right career path but let me tell you this; we aren’t living in another apartment because God said it was time to advance!! I don’t question when God moves anymore! I used to get frustrated with him; like come on God when is something going to happen! When will I get married? When will I stop living paycheck to paycheck? When will my books start being on women’s bookshelves and in their hands? When? Our time isn’t God’s time! When He says it is time; then we better be ready! Are you ready? Are you ready to advance? What actions are you taking? All I had to do was “write the vision and make it plain!” NO MORE APARTMENT LIVING IN 2018!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

When Your Frustration Kicks In: #SpiritualSundays

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” John 16:33 (NLT)

How many of us will raise our hands and admit we sometimes get frustrated? Yes, we have faith and yes; we believe in God. But, we also get frustrated! Frustration is a part of life; none of us are perfect and we will all experience this at some point in our lives.

We get frustrated when things don’t go our way! We get frustrated when God doesn’t move when we want him to move! We get frustrated when the people in our lives just can’t and won’t do right!

Women get frustrated when they continually get passed over and must wait for a relationship to come their way. Men get frustrated when they can’t find the right woman. Employees get frustrated that they can’t get the promotion they deserve; unemployed people get frustrated when they can’t find a job; or the right job. Entrepreneurs get frustrated when they don’t make any sales or get any new clients.

Students get frustrated when they don’t have the right teachers in their schools. Teachers get frustrated when they feel neglected and underpaid. Parents get frustrated when their kids won’t listen to their wisdom, knowledge and reasoning. Kids get frustrated when parents won’t allow them to have a voice. Husbands get frustrated when their wives won’t submit; wives get frustrated when their husbands won’t listen or communicate with them.

“Extortion turns a wise person into a fool, and a bribe corrupts the heart. The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools”. Ecclesiastes 7:7-9 (NIV)

Frustration can easily turn into anger; we don’t want to get to that point. When we allow our emotions to take over; then it can easily turn into a negative situation. Anyone of these scenarios can take the wrong turn and that’s what we need to avoid.

As Christians, we want to take this and spin it into a learning curve or a give it a positive outcome. As humans that can sometimes be a hard thing for some of us to do; but, we must find ways to not let our emotions get the best of us.

Check out this article written by Pastor Rick Warren: http://pastorrick.com/devotional/english/five-steps-for-handling-frustration

What Can You Do When Your Frustration Kicks In?

Take a step back and look at the situation from the outside. What do you see?
Are you allowing your emotions to control you? Do you have a valid reason to be frustrated?
Ask God to step in and fix your heart and your thoughts; allow him to give and show you a different perspective.
Prayer! Everyone one always says this; for every situation! Why? Because it works….
Write it down; why are you frustrated? Writing always helps me; who would of thought that writing can be soothing to your soul.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: bit.ly/author_tamara

My newest book is now available: Kingdom Gals; Keep It Classy For Jesus

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#SpiritualSundays: Guest Blogger Angie Bee; Same Train – Different Parts of the Track

There are times in your life when you look around and see that you are in a different place than you were before. Sometimes you even see that your current position is not where you thought you would have been. Where are you going and who is going with you? Are you in the same place where others around you expected you to be? What about your peers? Are they on the same train with you? Let us look at the path or the “track” that you are on and see how God has served as your “train conductor” from the very beginning.

Join with me as I envision boarding a train with my family. We all anticipate arriving at the same destination, at the same time. We realize that we are not alone on the train as others have boarded the train with us and we anticipate a safe arrival. Now, what happens if each of my family members settle in to different locations on the train? My youngest is at the front of the train, my eldest daughter is at the back of the train and my husband and I are in a sleeping section of the train. Do we all arrive at our destination at the same time, with the same experiences?

My husband and I are still newlyweds after four years of marriage. February is the five-year anniversary of our first meeting and this is a special time for us. When Bartee and I first met, he was not TRYING to look at me, and I wasn’t TRYING to talk to him! God, however had other plans for us and set our trains on the same track. We met, dated and married within six months and our true love story is now in book form. Purchase your copy at www.LaderoPress.com and search for it on https://www.facebook.com/InTheBeginningThereWasGodMeAndYou/

Bartee was on one train, I was on another and now we are on the same train together! Look at God!

Let’s get back to that train trip with the family. As my eldest daughter sits on the back of the train snapping videos of the scenery, my youngest is learning about life as a conductor. She learned how a train is maintained and asked how a person learns to drive a train. My husband and I are enjoying the sleeper car as honeymooner’s #NoSleepRequired and we have a “Do Not Disturb” tag on the doorknob. This trip generally becomes a career introduction for my baby girl, while it is a spiritual engagement for my eldest daughter! Same train, different parts of the track and different experiences for us all.

Do we arrive at our destination at the same time? Yes, we do, yet we never anticipated the results of our trip. I never dreamed to be happily married at this time in my life. My children’s father and I divorced when our daughters were toddlers. Years later, their stepfather became abusive and we escaped to domestic violence shelters and homelessness. Men were not on my mind and the train that I intended to travel on was to have been testosterone free.

God put me on a different train track.

Bartee was enjoying life as a bachelor, after divorce. He was not attracted to women with “fuller figures”. He proclaimed that he was “GOOD BEING SINGLE”. Re-marriage was not in his vocabulary and my loveliness did not initially catch his eye.

God put Bartee on a different train track.

Parent’s raise their children either with the aid of family, or alone. Either parents apply what they learned from their parent’s, or they choose to apply a new parenting technique in an effort to show independence. Some parents started on the track their parent’s put them on, but once their relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ manifests into their lives, their destination changes!

Look at the friends and associates that have entered our lives recently. Have they invited you or encouraged you to go somewhere you have never been before? Have you asked, “Lord, is this relationship track that YOU want me to travel on?” Are you experiencing the same lessons that your peers are experiencing as you are traveling this route? A person can experience growth when you can see where you have been, and can embrace where you are going.

The law that we should follow is the plan that God has for our life. If you don’t yet know what that plan is, stay close to an elder that can help guide you and accompany you during this time. Stay on the train and the track that God is conducting, and watch your life open up for new joys and experiences! Learn to be content on the train that you are traveling on with God. You can experience education, revelation and love on the train with God. You can be on the same train and see different parts of the track when God is your conductor, and be at peace with it! God’s train will not fly off the track when you are on it. God’s train will not crash into despair during your trip. Follow God’s destination plan for your life, get on HIS train and nothing will make you fall.

Psalm 199: 165

Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.

I am honored to serve on the Board of Directors of Sword of the Spirit Ministries Florida, Inc. This newly-formed non-profit organization empowers single parents and their children spiritually, physically and financially, and shares the love of Christ through monthly workshops. The founder of this organization boarded the same train with me as a member of “The TOUR that Angie BEE Presents” several years ago and launched this non-profit as a result of different experiences while on her life travels. God’s plan for her life is that she is now helping enlarge the territories of others! Same train (ministry and outreach), different parts of the track (The TOUR that Angie BEE Presents is an evangelism troupe, Sword of the Spirit Ministries Florida, Inc. is a non-profit organization). Same destination (serving the Lord with gladness), different experiences during the journey. Same scripture, different interpretation and implementation. Same God, indescribable love! http://spfsonscreen.org/

Stay on the train that God has placed you on. It may not be the destination that your “friends” are leading you to, or it may not be the way your parent’s expected you to go but serve God and dedicate your life to Him. Your rewards along with way will be more than you could ask for or even imagine. Enjoy the journey!

#SpiritualSundays: 6 Steps to Enlarge Your Borders. Written by Tarsha L. Campbell

Are you yearning to take your life to a whole new level? Do you aspire to reach beyond your current boundaries and enlarge your territory? If you answered “yes” to these two questions than this article is for you! Below are six steps I personally employed in my own life to enlarge my borders and step into the divine spaces prepared for me. Let’s check them out:

Desire More

To desire means to long for. So many people lack desire. They have resolved to settle for the status quo. You must realize in order to have more, you have to reach for more. This means stepping out of your comfort zone and going beyond what you are accustom to. (Matthew 7:7-8)

Envision More

You have to see beyond what’s around you to enlarge your borders. Having vision is important when stretching forth into new territory. Vision is the vehicle that propels you to new dimensions.
Vision involves seeing the new territory before you even leave the station. (Proverbs 29:18)

Seek God For Strategies

When desiring to stretch out into larger territory the first place to start is in prayer. Seeking God for strategies to enlarge your borders is essential to your success. In doing so, you ensure you are moving forth in the right direction. A strategy is a plan of action, a game plan designed to achieve a goal. Without a plan of action you are planning to fail. (John 2:1-5)

Execute the Plan

Execute means to carry out the plan, to work. This is where most people drop the ball. To enlarge your borders it takes action on your part. When God gives you strategies it’s up to you to work them and see them through to completion. (James 2:17-18)

Avoid “Border Control”

In your quest to enlarge your borders you have to avoid people that try to place limits on your growth. It is important to establish divine connections. Be lead by the Spirit to connect with people who are going your way and cut loose from those who try to control your advancement and progress. (Matthew 18:18-20)

Praise God For New Ground

This final step is an act of faith. Even before you reach the new territory you need to acknowledge the one from whom all blessings flow. It is through God’s grace you will accomplish your goal. In praising Him you release His unlimited favor on your behalf! (Psalm 107:7-9)

(Scripture references from King James Version)

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