#KingdomGals: Speak Your Truth!

Who are you? Who are you becoming? Many of us women may be walking around still finding ourselves; not all of us have it completely together.

Now is that a bad thing? Not entirely! Are you working on your issues? See; none of us are perfect! But, we want to be working on becoming better! Right? Why do we want to stay stuck? Or boxed in? As women that are seeking a close relationship with God; we want to be transformed into the woman that can walk upright and become whole.

Becoming whole is knowing who we are in Christ and beginning to walk into it and stay focused on staying in close proximity.

In doing this; we will have to look within and begin to sort out past issues and work through each one. In working through our past issues; we are clearing our path into future happiness! Who wants to be happy and free from past trials and tribulations? Our future shouldn’t have to sustain our past; it’s time to clear the way for God to work! Give Him room to bless you!

The Bible is a great tool for us to begin/continue to read; so we can not only get encouragement, motivation, inspiration, empowerment, knowledge and understanding; but we will also gain insight into the foundation that has been laid out for us to follow!

There are endless stories for us as women to read such as Adam & Eve, Ruth, Naomi & Boaz, Lot’s wife, Sarah & Abraham, Hagar, Tamar, Mary & Joseph, Mary & Martha; etc.

These stories are going to give us insight into how we should/shouldn’t handle ourselves as wives, sisters, friends, mothers; etc. For instance, when we read about Eve, we find out that in order to be blessed and stay in right standing with God; we have to submit to our husbands! Don’t you think if Eve listened to the instructions of her husband/and obeyed God; she would’ve lived a much better life? Don’t you think they would’ve still been in the Garden of Eden?

We also want to surround ourselves with other like-minded women that are on similar paths! She needs to be working towards reaching the goal on becoming whole! Yes we can inspire others along the way but if you have those that are constantly pulling you down to their level; it’s time to part ways.

We all won’t be on the same level but you want to be able to still advance without distractions from those that should be cheering you on and pulling you up as they pull themselves up!

Can I be honest with you? I haven’t always had it all together! Everything that God has blessed me to be able to do; at first I didn’t want to do any of this! Tell my stories; share of my losses, admit I did things wrong, look within and tell of me being a fool for so long; etc. I can go on for days!

But guess what? I wanted more for my life! I wanted to be made whole and that required work from me! I had to look at all my past issues and failures and deal with each one! I had to allow God to begin a new work in me and allow Him to fix whatever was broken and then I had to be obedient to the call and assignments; He placed before me. Was it easy? Heck No! But guess what? It has all been worth it!

I am not the same person! I don’t ever want to be her again! I love the new me! The one that God created me to be; I just had to get in right standing with me and allow Him to pour into me.

This is my truth! What is yours?

“Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted

Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

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12 Years Single and Counting: From The Desk of a Single Mom

For some; 12 years may seem like a long time. Many think of it only being 12 years of not being in a committed relationship; this is 12 years and counting of no relationship, no dating and no sexual relations!

Very big difference…Anyone can be single but single and no sex; is a whole different ball game! A ball game that many would rather not attend or even be part of.

Some people will tell you that they can’t live without sex! I tell them I’ve had enough sex; to last me a lifetime! Lust isn’t something I’m looking forward to for the rest of my life; I want real unconditional and mutually given love. I’ve had the one sided relationships were you’re the only one interested in commitment and all they want is sex; no thanks I’ll pass.

None of us are perfect! We as women fall for some make believe jokers; who are counterfeit and deceptive. We fell for it; but, don’t allow that to stop you from being an effective woman and an awesome single mom! I’m speaking from experience; I was led to believe that nobody wanted me with kids! Let me tell you somebody wants me! God wants me! God created me to be a purpose-driven woman and can’t no grown boy come in and change that; not anymore!

12 Years Single and Counting:

I didn’t always believe this; I had to get to this place! I had to do my work! I had to release and get delivered from so much that sought to take me out! I had time to get to know me and finally began to love myself….

I became a better Mom! My relationship with my kids was always good; but, it amplified once I surrendered and submitted to God and gave Him my all..

I became a better Woman!

A Purpose-Driven Woman!

A Determined Woman!

A Godly Woman!

A Spiritual Woman!

A Renewed Woman!

I’ve always had the desire to be married but I wanted to be married; to the right man! I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce. I knew the grown boys that I was playing house with were definitely not fit to fill the role of husband! And, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for the imposters that the enemy had set before me..

3 takeaways I want to leave with you:

1. Don’t allow a defeated mindset to lead you!

2. Don’t allow your right now situation to overtake you.

3. Don’t allow the past situations to immobilize you.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Where is the Unity? Sisterhood Chronicles

Many times in life; you will have to be the one that has to speak the unpopular! Social media paints a picture that all is well; and it doesn’t always show the true picture.

And then, we also have to remember that our situation isn’t the same for others in the world. While we may have some good relationships with other women; it doesn’t mean the person standing next to you; can relate! The world and the people in it; aren’t perfect.

I wanted to share something that I sent to my email list subscribers yesterday:

How are you doing?

Can we chat for just a moment? When did we as women get to the place of not loving our fellow sisters? As I was scrolling through social media the other day. I came across a story of two teen girls whose life was shattered; in a matter of minutes! One was dead and the other was in jail. Why? Because they were fighting over a boy!

So, I ask again; when did we get here? When was it okay for us as young ladies and grown women to act and respond this way? It just doesn’t start there; when did we get so comfortable putting another women down or talk about her; instead of lifting her up? Offering our assistance; when she needs it!

So many of us are afraid that by helping others; we will somehow be in lack! That is not of God! God doesn’t promote hate, jealously or strife! But, I know who does! When did we begin to hate or stop talking to each other; simply because another women has a problem with someone? What happened to being a mediator and getting down to the root cause of the problem? Because, it is something more going on; that women don’t want to talk about! 

I’m very passionate about sisterhood and women forming lasting friendships… Why? I have throughout my lifetime been on the receiving end of what I speak about! As a young girl; I’ve had classmates attempt to jump me, I’ve had them spread false rumors about me, I’ve been called all kinds of names by them; and even in my adult life much of the same has occurred. 

In 2015, when God told me it was time for me to find my voice; I really didn’t want to start speaking up; but I am starting to see now that it’s necessary and needed. Too many of us stay silent and only speak about those things that serve us….

If you’re reading this; I thank you for taking out the time. We can change the outcome; one person at a time!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Salute to Single Moms

“There is no greater warrior than a mother protecting her child.” N.K. Jemisin

While being a parent; many of us women don’t have the luxury of having a partner to go through the motions with! Many of us are doing it alone and many of us are rocking it!

And we don’t get our kudos or the pat on the back; because there are those that will say; it’s our responsibility to raise our kids! But, is it for us to do it alone?

We live in a society where men are allowed to get a pass for just about anything! They cheat on their wives; pass….They abandon their children and their responsibility! Pass….makes no sense to me; but oh well….

But in the same breathe those same people are quick to say that women can’t teach a young boy/man; how to be a man! Well I beg to differ! Why? It’s simple; we have no choice!

People are quick to have an opinion but never a solution! Will you mentor a young boy/man? Will you give of your time to reach/teach a young boy/man the right path to take in life? Will you take them to a baseball or basketball game?Many won’t and that’s why there is a shortage of mentors for young boys…ask me how I know?

And while there is a shortage; single moms are the ones that have to step into a role that was never designed for us..but we do it and many times; do it well….

1. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to pull his pants up!

2. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to respect himself and others!

3. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to open the doors for young girls/ladies!

4. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to cook, clean and wash his own clothes!

5. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to learn how to drive!

6. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to protect himself and those that he loves!

7. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to go buy groceries!

And, as I learned from a dear friend; who also happens to be a single mom:

8. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to change a tire!

This is just a small list of things that single moms have to step up and teach their boys!

We as a society need to do a better job at thinking before we speak. So many people are quick to judge without putting themselves in other’s shoes. We are quick to look at another’s trials and tribulations and point fingers and assume! But, what if it was you?

There is so much that the people on the outside don’t know because they don’t allow themselves to care. They don’t know that you have to take a stand for yourself and your kids. They don’t know that when terror comes to your door you have to be the one to chase it away; men were designed to be the protector!

So, if you’re a single mom and you’re reading this; You Aren’t Alone! If you’re not a single mom but know someone that is; then let her know that she is doing a great job! Offer her some help from time to time.

Excerpt from my book……Single Mom You Aren’t Alone: Becoming a Single Woman of Purpose

“You are a giver by nature; because you have to give your all; it’s in your DNA…

You are worthy of your children’s love; they love you no matter what.

No Matter What, Never Give In to Negative Talk. Being positive in any situation is Key.

Step Out on Faith and watch the possibilities pour into your life.

All the things you think you can’t do as a single mom; are already done!

In Jesus Name, Amen.” Tamara McCarthy

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Baby Daddy Syndrome; It’s Time to Heal…

How many of you single moms are still hurt over your baby daddy?

He left you for other woman?

He left you to raise the kids all alone?

He doesn’t respond when you call or text?

He doesn’t spend time with his kids?

He doesn’t provide any kind of support?

I can keep going but I think you get my point!

There are so many young ladies and women still hurt about baby daddy! Chasing him down; stalking him! Why? He has shown you his true intentions! He has shown you his real character! Even before he left or you kicked him out; he was acting and doing the same things. Why are you surprised or hurt? You thought he would change? People only change when they want too! Not when you put demands on them that don’t fit into their lifestyle! He is good playing around in these streets; why would you want to be apart of that! Why would you want your kids to be included in that kind of life? Nobody wants that kind of drama! Yes, I know it’s hard but he isn’t going to make it any better!

I am speaking from experience! I got tired of all the other women staking their claim, calling his phone all times of the day and night, I got tired of finding weave strands in my car (I wasn’t wearing wigs or weave back then); why put yourself through that?

Love, doesn’t hurt! Love, doesn’t abuse, Love doesn’t use, Love doesn’t mimic, Love doesn’t walk out the door into the arms of another woman!

We all know 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; memorize and meditate on it! This is what real love looks and feels like! Not some cheap version some of these guys are pushing around and distributing to unsuspecting candidates!

The best thing I could do was to release! I had to Let Go and Let God! This wasn’t going to be my Battle anymore! I wasn’t going to be hung up on a grown boy; who didn’t respect or love me! Who didn’t want to handle his responsibility as a father! I had to take my power back; get my life and raise my kids the best I could; with the help of my Heavenly Father!

Yes, some of you have your squad, your village, your circle; but hear me when I tell you; you need some God in your life! When you can’t reach anyone else; He is always there!

Unlock the chains of that Baby Daddy Syndrome! Break-Free….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Summer-Time Blues…Not Really…

It has been a minute since my last post. I have had lots to share just no time to share it; being a Single Mom; it seems as if your time is always sucked away before you get to use it, lol.

Can you believe school is almost out? Thank you Jesus! Are you excited that school is almost out? Or are you dreading your electricity bill going up or no food being in the refrigerator?

Look I don’t know about you but I go to the store frequently even when they are in school! They are growing boys and they have to eat! You have to utilize the power within the household; so you’re going to get a bill! There are just some stuff you just can’t get around!

Now, I didn’t always think this way! I used to be one of those parents that complained about the no food and high electric bill during the summer; but then I changed my thought process.

My mind is at ease during the summer because I know for sure they are safe and sound! With everything going on in the world and in schools today; any parent would be on edge.

For me; I don’t have to drag my middle-schooler out of bed every morning, in the summer! Yes Lord; lol, he can sleep in all he wants too! That process every single morning during the school year; gets a little old after the first week of school. (Did I mention that he is taller than me and I have a bad back from a car accident?) Yes, so I can definitely use a break in the summertime!

My mornings aren’t rushed in the summer! I can have extra time to get some stuff done. Rushing to get yourself together, helping your kids get ready, making breakfast, reading your bible, saying your morning prayers; etc. Doing this on a daily basis; while you know it needs to be done; you welcome a break when you can get one!



1. If you’re a single mom dreading the summer and your kids being out of school; what are some positive ways you can deal with the situation?

2. How can you change your thought process?



Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Baby Daddy Season is Over…

First of all, this post isn’t about bashing or putting down anyone! It’s all about respect and both parties learning and knowing how to respect the other person and having boundaries!

Let’s begin:

Have you ever heard the saying “you teach people how to treat you?” My uncle told me something similar years ago; and I always remember his words. Especially when I find myself in a situation where someone isn’t fully respecting me, my time; my space, etc.

As a single mom I shouldn’t have to accommodate; baby daddy and make his life easier! It doesn’t work that way; it’s suppose to be treated like a partnership; 50-50; right?

Without telling all my business and making him look like a real deadbeat; I will share some of what I am constantly going through with this dude; because I know other single moms can relate!

He says he will get the kids this day or that day and then at the last minute; he can’t get them anymore! There have been numerous times he didn’t even say anything; he just didn’t show! Each time I have had to pick the pieces of my boys hearts up off the floor; me not him! I have to deal with their anger of why he didn’t come and get them; me not him!

So over the years I have had to take a stand and say no more! I have a back up option just in case he doesn’t show up; so their hearts aren’t completely crushed! This recent incident I gave him the common courtesy to work out a day that I could drive them halfway to him (because he never wants to drive the whole way) and he never responded! So I got my back up plan in place and it was smooth sailing until 3 days later; he wants to respond and tell me not ask, this is when I can get them. Excuse me sir; we have plans and we aren’t changing them to accommodate you!

How dare I do that? It’s sad, but after all these years this guy still doesn’t respect me and never will! I understand this and realized this years ago! You control how people treat you! You can’t continue to allow people to walk over you and use you as their door mate!

Have you heard this saying? “You reap what you sow!” This is another saying that I keep in the back of my mind; and it applies to all of us. I can only control what I do and how I react to things. Am I being difficult; no I am just asking for the same courtesy; respect!

Even though he doesn’t respect me; I respect myself. I put those boundaries in place and he can’t cross them; because I am in control of my thoughts and how I react!

How many of us; as single moms, have bent over backwards to accommodate baby daddies; who don’t respect us or care how they hurt our children when they don’t do right?

When will it stop?

I had a pastor tell me; I should do everything in my power so my kids can see their father! Really, when he doesn’t even want to lift a hand? When he doesn’t respond to a simple text or call? When he goes out of his way not to pay child support? I’m sorry; who is that helping?

This is the reality of so many women, single moms and their kids! This is the life we live; not the life we have chosen….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!