From The Desk of a Single Mom: Salute to Single Moms

“There is no greater warrior than a mother protecting her child.” N.K. Jemisin

While being a parent; many of us women don’t have the luxury of having a partner to go through the motions with! Many of us are doing it alone and many of us are rocking it!

And we don’t get our kudos or the pat on the back; because there are those that will say; it’s our responsibility to raise our kids! But, is it for us to do it alone?

We live in a society where men are allowed to get a pass for just about anything! They cheat on their wives; pass….They abandon their children and their responsibility! Pass….makes no sense to me; but oh well….

But in the same breathe those same people are quick to say that women can’t teach a young boy/man; how to be a man! Well I beg to differ! Why? It’s simple; we have no choice!

People are quick to have an opinion but never a solution! Will you mentor a young boy/man? Will you give of your time to reach/teach a young boy/man the right path to take in life? Will you take them to a baseball or basketball game?Many won’t and that’s why there is a shortage of mentors for young boys…ask me how I know?

And while there is a shortage; single moms are the ones that have to step into a role that was never designed for us..but we do it and many times; do it well….

1. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to pull his pants up!

2. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to respect himself and others!

3. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to open the doors for young girls/ladies!

4. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to cook, clean and wash his own clothes!

5. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to learn how to drive!

6. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to protect himself and those that he loves!

7. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to go buy groceries!

And, as I learned from a dear friend; who also happens to be a single mom:

8. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to change a tire!

This is just a small list of things that single moms have to step up and teach their boys!

We as a society need to do a better job at thinking before we speak. So many people are quick to judge without putting themselves in other’s shoes. We are quick to look at another’s trials and tribulations and point fingers and assume! But, what if it was you?

There is so much that the people on the outside don’t know because they don’t allow themselves to care. They don’t know that you have to take a stand for yourself and your kids. They don’t know that when terror comes to your door you have to be the one to chase it away; men were designed to be the protector!

So, if you’re a single mom and you’re reading this; You Aren’t Alone! If you’re not a single mom but know someone that is; then let her know that she is doing a great job! Offer her some help from time to time.

Excerpt from my book……Single Mom You Aren’t Alone: Becoming a Single Woman of Purpose

“You are a giver by nature; because you have to give your all; it’s in your DNA…

You are worthy of your children’s love; they love you no matter what.

No Matter What, Never Give In to Negative Talk. Being positive in any situation is Key.

Step Out on Faith and watch the possibilities pour into your life.

All the things you think you can’t do as a single mom; are already done!

In Jesus Name, Amen.” Tamara McCarthy

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#SpiritualSundays: It’s Time To Find Your Voice..Like Right Now!

Do you know how many times the word voice appears in the Bible? In the amplified version; it appears 397 times!

I will be pointing out some of the scripture that pertains to voice throughout this post.

“Through your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have heard and obeyed My voice.” Genesis 22:18 AMP

“But Pharaoh said, “Who is the Lord that I should obey His voice to let Israel go? I do not know the Lord, nor will I let Israel go.” Exodus 5:2 AMP

“God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Do not be afraid, for God has heard the voice of the boy from where he is [resting]”. Genesis 21:17 AMP

“Then the Lord spoke to you from the midst of the fire; you heard the sound of the words, but you saw no form—there was only a voice”. Deuteronomy 4:12 AMP

How do you use your voice?

Do you inspire?

Do you motivate?

Do you encourage?

Do you empower?

Or do you ridicule?

Do you tear others down?

Do you spread hate or lies?

Do you gossip?

It’s time to use your voice but for good and not evil….

Social media has given everyone the opportunity to be seen and heard. Some people use it for good and others not so good. The one thing that I like about social media is that those that choose to use their voice to spread love; have the ability too! You never know who will stumble across your message and it’s something that they need to hear! The power to change lives just by speaking!

Now isn’t that powerful! There is power in your voice; use it wisely….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Is it Time for a Shift? #Mindset Monday’s

Mindset: This is generally your attitude towards something or someone. You make up in your mind how you feel and that lays the foundation on how you deal or interact…..

If you have a positive outlook; then your attitude or mindset is positive!

If you have a negative outlook; then your attitude or mindset is negative!

If you don’t like someone or they don’t like you; then generally the interaction will be limited or negative.

If you’re consistently thinking something will go wrong; then most likely it will; because your thought process will generate what you think on the most.

Have you heard the saying, “You are what you eat?“; the same applies to how you speak and how your thought process is!

If your consistently speaking negative in and over your life; how does that make room for any positive to come in? And this applies to what others my say or speak in and over your life as well! There have been a few times where I’ve had to stop or correct others for speaking negativity into/over my life!

Words are very powerful; even when their negative! That’s why we have to “think before we speak”! “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue”. Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

Is it time for a shift in your thinking process? In how you speak about/over yourself and others? How you interact with others? Does your mindset require a shift?

Change isn’t always fun; but in many instances it’s necessary…..

©️2018 Copyrighted Material Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

To reference scripture used: http://www.biblegateway.com

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Secure The Bag! #SpiritualSundays

By a show of hands; who has heard of this saying that is going around? “Secure The Bag”?

I have been hearing this all over social media! Everybody has been chiming in and putting their own spin on it! I’m getting emails from individuals I have subscribed too; telling me to “Secure The Bag”!!

Me being an Introvert; many times something just sticks with me and I allow it to marinate and after a few hours, few days, few months; you get me right?

That thing comes back; since I had time to process it, analyze it; and take it apart! And this is what came to my mind; just a couple days ago: “I keep hearing all this talk about “secure the bag!” But, what about “Secure Your Soul!” All the bags in the world won’t be able to save you; if your Soul is jacked up!!!

Does that make sense? It did to me….. You see when you get to living your life a certain way and you are going about doing things differently! You aren’t worried and don’t partake in the ways of the world!!!

2 Corinthians 5:17 says this: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (NKJV)

1 Timothy 6:10 says this: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” (NKJV)

Mark 8:36 says this: “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (NKJV)

Now the next scripture I am sharing is only part of the story; I need you to take a look at the whole part!!! Matthew 4:1-11; you need to read this in its entirety but let me share the part I want to highlight!!

Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Matthew 4:8-9 (NKJV) 

Y’all I almost fell out when I heard this!! I was driving; on my way to work, listening to the audio Bible and when I heard this!! It had been in my spirit for a minute! I’ve seen it before! But, for some reason hearing it on that particular day made it so real!!

The enemy out here tricking folk!! Got them believing that God is rewarding them for doing something good!! The enemy rewards too!! Did y’all know that? Who knew this and didn’t share it with others?  Who?

Look if you read the whole scripture; Matthew 4:1-11; I promise you this will all make sense!

Even though Jesus was growing tired! You have to remember He had fasted for 40 days and 40 nights! Jesus was tired and hungry!! How many of us get tired, get weary and hungry and just want to to be finished? Just tell me what I have to say; so I can go and sleep? Just tell me what you what me to do; so I can go eat?

He still had the Word of God; on his lips!! Each time the enemy came at him; He was ready for him!! Each and every time; He never gave in! He never threw in the towel!! How many of us when we get tired, frustrated and disgusted; forget what we heard? Forget what we read? Forget what we know to be true?

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

Look y’all; I know times be hard and nobody likes to be walking around here broke. But, just make sure; what and who; you are accepting into your life! Make sure your going down the right path and you won’t one day regret the decision that you’ve made. Know whose team you are signing up to be on!!

Now, if you still want to “Secure The Bag”; make sure it’s a duffel bag!! Tell the enemy I’m packing up; I’m moving out and you will never see me; ever again!! I’m going back home; where I belong!!! #securethebag

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Our Very 1st Home….Thank You Jesus!!

Can I brag on My God! God did it! We sometimes want to take credit for the things that happen in our lives! But, I can’t and won’t do that today! Some of us just won’t give credit where it is due! I won’t be one of them!

On 5.11.18 my children and myself were able to secure our very 1st home! That’s a big blessing; one that we can’t take any credit for! So many of us fail to realize that we don’t have total and complete control of what takes place in our lives! Yes, we can get a job and make a bunch of money (some of us) and we can buy all the nice shiny sparkling things; that people will ooh and ahh over but none of that makes any difference if you don’t have God in your life!

Buying a house isn’t a fun and easy process! If you got cold hard cash; then maybe you won’t get the headache! But, when you have to deal with sellers, mortgage companies, banks; etc those headaches are numerous! Your credit score has to be on point! Your bank account has to be at a certain level because you have fees on top of fees you will have to pay out. Did I forget to mention that I didn’t go through one of those 1st time home buyers class? I skipped all over that step; lol! I dove in head first and had no idea what I was getting myself into!

My parents where home buyers before but I was a child when that process took place for the first time; when my dad brought another house years later; he made it seem so easy I didn’t even ask about all the mishaps that could take place. I didn’t tell too many people I was looking to buy because:

  1. I didn’t want to hear any horror stories!
  2.  or do you think your ready?
  3. or really; you think you can handle that?
  4. I don’t know if the market is good for that.
  5. or people counting my coins!
  6. and I didn’t want anyone telling me what God couldn’t do!

I don’t know about you but as a Single Mom; people always feel like you don’t have it all together and need their two cents! Now, don’t get me wrong I love some good sound advice but don’t treat me like I haven’t been raising my kids all this time by myself! I know what I can and can’t handle! And I got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a big decision like this I checked with my Heavenly Father first! He knows what the forecast is before any of us even open our eyes!

You see, when we moved into our last apartment 06.08.17 I wrote a note and put it on my prayer wall! It basically was me saying this had to be it with this apartment living! I was done with it! I was tired, my kids were tired and we wanted better for our lives! We grew tired of all the rules that these apartment communities enforced! They basically had the keys to come and go as they pleased while you were paying the rent! Every time we turned around they were having inspections for this and for that; people all up in your living space. You could park here; but you can’t park there! You can have these many guests over and they have to leave at this time! They charged you for everything; gym key, washer and dryer, updated appliances; jeez really! I was putting out so much money and I knew there had to be a better way.

I would often dream about the day when we could have our own; I prayed for it, I put it on my vision boards; until the last vision board that I did, I just felt it was already done! No need to look for and paste these pictures of houses and what they would have inside of it anymore!

We started the journey almost 6 months into living in that last apartment. I called up a friend that also happens to be a realtor and told him I was ready to start looking for a house! I didn’t know chicken squat about what I needed to do or have; I just knew I was ready! He began to send me listings and gave me the name of a guy at the mortgage company and we were on our way! I wish I could tell you that it was smooth sailing; it wasn’t! The whole process was stressful! Any time you want to upgrade your life; the enemy will be on full alert and the attacks will begin! How dare you think that you deserve more? Better? How dare you?

Let me tell you something! I kept on full steam ahead! My Heavenly Father sent his “only begotten son so that we can have life and have it more abundantly” I wasn’t backing down! And you know some may say; well where is this house? Is it up on a hill? Is it 2 stories high? Is it in a gated community? Does it have those high vaulted ceilings? Are there chandeliers hanging throughout? All that is materialistic and isn’t everlasting! God knows I am a simple chic and that the memories we will build here are far more valuable then all that material stuff!

When I walked into this home; I felt at HOME! I didn’t want to leave! I could feel the joy radiating off the walls! I could feel the laughter! I could feel my kids feeling safe and secure! I could feel God blessing us over and over again! We put in an offer and it was accepted! Yes God! But, I have to add there were many houses before this house! Some far more better, had much more land, had even more rooms and space! There was 1 house that was completely renovated! Had the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen and a garage with the exact washer and dryer set I’ve always wanted; but I didn’t have any of those wonderful feelings I experienced in the home we chose! I wasn’t going to settle because my eyes were fascinated at what I saw! The enemy knows what you like; but God knows what you need!

Every morning I get up I still can’t believe it! Our very 1st Home; I could run, yell and scream and not have to worry about anyone living under us calling and complaining about the noise! I don’t have to wait to vacuum until its almost afternoon time because you might disturb the neighbors! The neighborhood is so calm and peaceful! My neighbors are nice and friendly! My kids haven’t fought not once since we moved in! I have an island in my kitchen! Every place we have lived in the past 5 years the kitchen was so small; we all couldn’t fit in there! Our kitchen now can fit all the kitchens from all our past places! Only God!

Let me tell you this if nobody else has: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE GOD IN YOUR LIFE!

I’m still a Single Mom, still haven’t found the right career path but let me tell you this; we aren’t living in another apartment because God said it was time to advance!! I don’t question when God moves anymore! I used to get frustrated with him; like come on God when is something going to happen! When will I get married? When will I stop living paycheck to paycheck? When will my books start being on women’s bookshelves and in their hands? When? Our time isn’t God’s time! When He says it is time; then we better be ready! Are you ready? Are you ready to advance? What actions are you taking? All I had to do was “write the vision and make it plain!” NO MORE APARTMENT LIVING IN 2018!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Inner Circle: Who Is In Yours?

Godly Relationships….Godly Community…..Godly Connections…..

Ask yourself:

Do you have them? Do you fit in with them? Do you inspire them?

What do your relationships look like?

Do you have community that you can count on? Who can you call when you are in trouble?

What kind of friend are you? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself; when it comes to relationships! So many are seeking relationships-friendships; but lack everything they are seeking in another!

Let’s take a look at some biblical journeys of Godly relationships-friendships to get a feel of what they look like……

Daniel Represents:

“Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon. Daniel made a request of the king, and he appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego over the affairs of the province of Babylon. But Daniel remained at the king’s court.” Daniel 2:48-49 (ESV)

Ask yourself:

Do you have Godly Relationships that when they are promoted; they don’t forgot about you and how you held them down? When Daniel went in to interpret the King’s Dream who did he ask to petition God? Do you have friends that will aid you in getting your prayers answered?

Ruth takes a stand:

“But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.” Ruth 1:16-18 (ESV)

The story of Ruth shows us a perfect example of a Godly Relationship-Community-Connections…..Not only did she desire to not return to her people; her previous life! She got the ultimate blessing in the end!

Ask yourself:

Do you allow people to see the real you or the mask?

Do you allow people to see you broken and hurt?

Do you allow people to speak into your life?

Do you allow others to help mold you into your best self?

Friendship-Relationships shouldn’t be created as a one-way street! So many people are focused on what they will get out of a relationship; they forget to figure out what they bring to the table!

When Jesus set out to complete his mission; he knew he would need others to assist him. Spreading the word of God isn’t an easy task because you will always have those that rebel. Jesus knew he needed a team to walk along side of him and those He could trust when He wasn’t around to still spread the good news!

But guess what? It wasn’t a one-way relationship! Yes, the disciples gave up much to walk with Jesus; but look at what they gained for being part of His Inner Circle!

Ask yourself:

Do you have what it takes to be part of Godly Relationships-Community?

Are you willing to remove the mask and show your real-true self?

Are you willing to put aside what no longer serves you?

Can you commit to helping others succeed in life; without personal gain?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

New Series: From the Desk of a Single Mom…

This is the first in this series that has been swarming around in my head for sometime now; I didn’t really know what my approach was going to be.

Being a single mom isn’t something you can just turn on or off. You can’t pray it away; you can’t lock it up and go back for it years later! This is constant, consistent and never ending.

Some people seem to think that it’s a simple task; but, it’s not! You always hear people saying “put it on your to-do list” “command your day”; blah! Blah! Blah! Single moms? Does any of that stuff work? Consistently?

Kids will stick a wrench and smack the hammer down on your little to-do list and your command your day mindset; lol they will crumble it to pieces!

One of my boys is the BOSS at getting mommy off-track! I try my best to start the morning off right; got my daily schedule. Get up to get all my stuff in order and when it is time for him to get ready it should be smooth sailing!

Well no; he has a new attitude every day! He doesn’t want to wear that, those socks don’t match with the pants, his shoes are touching his pants; omg it just amazes me the stuff he comes up with!

And all the while the clock is ticking away and he is bound to miss his bus; and guess what? I have to drive him to school if he misses that bus! Did I add that to my list? No, because it’s not my normal routine! I didn’t add that in my command your day priorities!

But, you know what I had to get my mind all the way right! I had to find a way to deal with this and not let it ruin the rest of my day! We as people tend to get off track when our normal routine gets messed up; our whole attitude changes! We take it out on our kids and others around us; when it’s a simple fix! Shift your mindset and your thinking! I know he is going to do this every single morning; lol and I’m ready for him! If he misses his bus; I happily drive him to school, because I prepared for it!

Many times, our kids just want our attention! They want that one on one time; and we have to carve out that time and give it to them.

This video was from this week. I couldn’t let the morning get the best of me; I had to shift my thinking! Yes it got off track. I wasn’t able to fix my lunch for the day, I forgot to make my smoothie, I woke up with a migraine/sinus headache and my son had missed his bus! But I got my mind right! I put a smile on my face! I grabbed some veggies out the fridge, took my son to school, stopped to get a smoothie and made my way to work; all with a smile on my face!

It’s all in our thinking and how our mindset is! If you think defeat; you will be defeated! If you think failure; you will fail! I don’t know about you; but I’m looking to win! Every single morning that I am blessed to wake up and be able to be the best mom that I can be to my kids; is a win in my book!

Look out there is more to come in this series…..

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!