Spiritual Sundays: When Love Hurts

In the Bible we are taught that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

I didn’t come to find this out until many years later. I didn’t know love was supposed to hurt; especially if both people felt the same way. He always said he loved me but he would beat me down like a dog! He would treat me as his punching bag! Each and every time it seemed like the punches got harder and harder!

But, every time it was over he said he was sorry and that he loved me. Did that make it okay? I wouldn’t call the police if I thought he loved me? Was he telling me that because he knew I would believe him?

Why do young ladies and women fall for abusive guys? These types of guys are good at hiding their true identity; and good at appearing to being a good guy or a gentlemen until that “honeymoon phase” is over. That time frame depends on the people and the situation! They are charming, they say all the right things and they know just what to say.

Many young ladies and women go through an identity crisis and fall victim to these guys; I was one of them! I didn’t know my true self, I didn’t know the power that I had, I didn’t know I was beautiful and wonderfully made, I didn’t know that Our Heavenly Father loved me and I was his, and I didn’t know that there was an enemy out there roaming the land seeking whom he could devour; who he could come to steal from, kill or destroy!

Domestic violence is real and countless young ladies and women go through this by someone that claims to love them! Many of them don’t make it out alive. So many times could’ve been my last! Real love doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t seek you out to kill you!

Copyrighted 2017 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Spiritual Sundays series)

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There is Life after Domestic Violence: The Single Woman Chronicles..

Self-love is something that took me many years to learn about and accept. I had been mistreated for so long; I began to accept the negativity that I had allowed myself to fall victim too. So many women across this world fall into this same trap; but I’m here to tell you there can be happiness after domestic violence!

Grown men don’t put their hands on you and call that love; its abuse and you aren’t anyone’s punching bag! Women have to endure so much in this world and being brutalized and degraded shouldn’t be on the list. Grown boys (a term that Tony Gaskins uses frequently when talking of males that haven’t fully matured even though they are over the age of 18) will fall into this category and we as women need to stay clear of them.

In my latest book The Single Woman Chronicles: God, Men and You. I wrote about the grown boys that I dated and also had children with. You see when you don’t love yourself and realize your worth; you will be mislead into believing that all men are good and if they do hit you, it’s simply out of love! 

What kind of love takes your head and bashes it into walls? What kind of love puts a knife to your throat while you are holding their son? What kind of love wraps their hands around your neck and begins to choke you; with hate in their eyes? What kind of love chases you down and attempts to set you on fire? 

“Today is a new day! Yesterday we may have made mistakes or didn’t quite get it right; but today we have the opportunity to change that”. Single Mom of Purpose 

That is a quote that I shared in my book; do you believe that you can walk away from an abusive situation? You may think because he only verbalizes his dislike towards you; that it’s not so bad. If you have children do you want them growing up seeing and hearing how you are being treated? Do you want them to accept that for their life? We as parents are to train up and teach our children how to act and treat others! Is that the behavior you want to teach them?

I am here to tell you that I left! I walked away with my life and it’s all because God had a bigger plan for my life! He saw and created something in me worth saving! He created you the same way! He designed you for a specific purpose! Don’t allow any man to take that away from you! Don’t allow any man to tell you that you don’t matter; that no one else wants you! Don’t allow any man to kick you in the ground while your children are their watching and crying! 

You deserve more! You deserve better! You were created to be loved! You were created to be respected! You were created to shine! You were created to be a Queen! 

Don’t let that situation dim your light! Don’t allow it to overtake you! Walk away and allow love to take over; there is happiness after domestic violence; but you have to want it!

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 

New International Version (NIV)

4 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”.


I hope you choose love; there is nothing better than real love…
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