Baby Daddy Season is Over…

First of all, this post isn’t about bashing or putting down anyone! It’s all about respect and both parties learning and knowing how to respect the other person and having boundaries!

Let’s begin:

Have you ever heard the saying “you teach people how to treat you?” My uncle told me something similar years ago; and I always remember his words. Especially when I find myself in a situation where someone isn’t fully respecting me, my time; my space, etc.

As a single mom I shouldn’t have to accommodate; baby daddy and make his life easier! It doesn’t work that way; it’s suppose to be treated like a partnership; 50-50; right?

Without telling all my business and making him look like a real deadbeat; I will share some of what I am constantly going through with this dude; because I know other single moms can relate!

He says he will get the kids this day or that day and then at the last minute; he can’t get them anymore! There have been numerous times he didn’t even say anything; he just didn’t show! Each time I have had to pick the pieces of my boys hearts up off the floor; me not him! I have to deal with their anger of why he didn’t come and get them; me not him!

So over the years I have had to take a stand and say no more! I have a back up option just in case he doesn’t show up; so their hearts aren’t completely crushed! This recent incident I gave him the common courtesy to work out a day that I could drive them halfway to him (because he never wants to drive the whole way) and he never responded! So I got my back up plan in place and it was smooth sailing until 3 days later; he wants to respond and tell me not ask, this is when I can get them. Excuse me sir; we have plans and we aren’t changing them to accommodate you!

How dare I do that? It’s sad, but after all these years this guy still doesn’t respect me and never will! I understand this and realized this years ago! You control how people treat you! You can’t continue to allow people to walk over you and use you as their door mate!

Have you heard this saying? “You reap what you sow!” This is another saying that I keep in the back of my mind; and it applies to all of us. I can only control what I do and how I react to things. Am I being difficult; no I am just asking for the same courtesy; respect!

Even though he doesn’t respect me; I respect myself. I put those boundaries in place and he can’t cross them; because I am in control of my thoughts and how I react!

How many of us; as single moms, have bent over backwards to accommodate baby daddies; who don’t respect us or care how they hurt our children when they don’t do right?

When will it stop?

I had a pastor tell me; I should do everything in my power so my kids can see their father! Really, when he doesn’t even want to lift a hand? When he doesn’t respond to a simple text or call? When he goes out of his way not to pay child support? I’m sorry; who is that helping?

This is the reality of so many women, single moms and their kids! This is the life we live; not the life we have chosen….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

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I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Kingdom Gals: Power, Persistence & Prayer……Tamara McCarthy

I was listening to a devotional the other day; did you get that “listening”! Don’t you just love the power of technology? You can listen instead of reading; Praise God!! When you’re busy and on the go; that is an awesome way to get some spiritual reading in.

So, like I was saying I was listening to a devotional the other day and the author was talking about three things: Power, Persistence and Prayer!  These are three words that you want to incorporate into your life starting today; if you already haven’t!

The author of the devotional didn’t go into what the words mean; maybe because they are self-explanatory. But, I like to be thorough when I explain something; so I am going to go the extra mile and provide a definition for each.

Power: “ability to act or produce an effect “and “possession of control, authority, or influence over others” (www.merriamwebster.com)

Persistence: not backing down or refusing to give up (personal definition)

Prayer:  “the act or practice of praying to God” (www.merriamwebster.com)

Now, that I provided a definition to give an understanding of what we are speaking about today; let’s dive in.

Have you ever heard someone say that “your words have power“? How about “what you speak determines what will happen in your life“? If you speak negatively that can bring an negative outcome; what about speaking positive? Why would people speak negative into their life or the lives of others? It’s simple, many people don’t believe that there is “power in their words”. How can God bless your situation if you are constantly speaking negatively?

Are you persistent when you pray? Do you keep praying for the same things? Or do you give up after you don’t see any movement? That was the question the author posed; “are you being persistent; when you prayer? Do you keep on asking, seeking and knocking?

Matthew 7:7 (KJV) says this “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you“.

In the book of  Luke 18:1-8 (KJV) we find out about the persistent widow but I want to highlight verse 4-5For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think,yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!” (www.biblegateway.com)

Are we going to get everything we pray for? Maybe not, but should we just give up completely and not continue to pray?

God will tell you No sometimes; that just how it’s going to be. He has the master plan for our lives; maybe we are shooting too low and He wants us to go higher. God isn’t a materialistic God! He just doesn’t operate out of cars, clothes and money! He isn’t like that. He tells us in his word that we shouldn’t concentrate on the things of this world. (Romans 12:2)

Make a list of the things that you have been praying for; which ones do you think are important to God and the plans He has for your life? Do you need those new shoes? Maybe not; especially if you have 50 other pair in your closet; you can scratch that off your list. Are you praying to go on a missions trip and cant afford to go? This is where you want to speak those powerful words, be persistent and prayer! This can stay on your list and just await the outcome.

Who are you praying for? God isn’t a selfish God; he gives freely and expects us to do the same. Are you taking the time out to pray for others and their well-being? Who is on your prayer list? Do you have a prayer list? If not; start one today!

Who in your life; can use some intercessory prayer? Intercede for those that can’t pray for themselves and use those powerful words, be persistent on their behalf. Everyone doesn’t believe in the power of prayer; so you will have to be their advocate.

You may be asking yourself; what should I pray for them? You can be simple or you can be detailed; allow the spirit to move/direct you. Example: Father God, I come to you today on behalf of my co-worker; who may be in need of your help. She doesn’t want to ask you; so I will intercede for her. Help her in all her difficult times and trying situations that may look helpless to her. Show her that you are real; and love all your children; even though they may be going down the wrong path. Guide her steps, oh Lord. In the mighty name of your son Jesus, I pray. Amen.

This kind of prayer can be applied to anyone and their situation; just change up the names and circumstances. Can you imagine how better our lives would be as a whole; if we prayed more for those around us?

Have you ever drove past a car accident and just prayed for all those involved? What about driving or walking past a homeless person; did you pray for them and their situation? And the countless children that are given up for adoption and placed in foster homes; did you pray for them?

There are so many different circumstances that require us to pray. Prayer isn’t selfish; it’s just not for us and our needs; but prayer will require us to pray for others as well.

When something happens beyond our control; people are quick to ask: “Where was God; how could He allow this to happen?”. Did you petition Him? Did you cry out and ask Him that very question? Do you have a relationship with Him? Relationship requires prayer…will you pray?

©️2018 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)

Spiritual Sundays: Broken but Alive

Have you ever had something break in your life and thought at that time you would surely die? It was the end of your world; there was no coming back?

Well I’m here to tell you dry those tears; get your mind and thoughts in check and move forward! Climb that mountain! Cross that river! Ride that cloud! And just rejoice!

Everything that seems like it’s your worst day can turn into the best life lesson and motivation that you need to reach your next level!

When Jesus told Peter to get out the boat; did Peter say no or did he get out? Yes he took his eyes of Jesus for a mere second but he knew that without Jesus he couldn’t do it! (Matthew 14:22-33)

When God told Noah to build the Ark, did Noah say nope just let me and my family go down like everybody else? No, he got to working and building! (Genesis 6:1-22)

When Adam trusted Eve more than he did God and was banished from the Garden; did he give up and say I’m done and just whither away? No, he still went on to live and multiply in the Earth! (Genesis 3:1-23)

Abraham and Sarai: she felt empty and broken and would’ve rather given her husband to another woman than to wait on God! (Genesis 16:1-15; Genesis 18:1-15)

What have you done in your season of brokenness that would appear out of order? Did you go out and react on your own or did you wait on God? Many times there are lessons, healing, revelations, clarity, marching orders, quiet time, etc; in the midst of your brokenness!

This past week I slipped and fell trying to prevent an even bigger disaster from happening and ended up breaking my ankle and my foot! As I went down I knew something was wrong and on my own I couldn’t fix it; as my brother rushed to my side he immediately began to comfort me and reassure me it wasn’t as bad as it looked; I was going to be fine! (At first glance, rush of pain and the sound of something breaking; I was sure my leg was broken and my heart just dropped)

Long story but here’s the short version; yes I broke two areas that I need to effectively stand up and proceed to walk into the life that God has designed for me. But, somewhere in the midst He requires us to rest and recharge ourselves!

You see we always think of the bad and not the in between! Yes, for me this may look like a set-back but in God’s eyes He is preparing me for something so big and so awesome that He knew I would need time to adjust! (Genesis 2:2, Matthew 14:23, Luke 6:12, Luke 5:15-16, Mark 6:31, Mark 1:35)

Where in your life are you feeling broken?

What areas do you feel you can work on?

How can you get past the thoughts of brokenness?

Have you tried to pray and ask for guidance and clarity?

Don’t rush the process. Use this time wisely and figure out what You need to do! Whatever the situation look at the bright side of it! In the in-between is where you will find your answers and solutions!

Written and Published by Tamara D McCarthy for Spiritual Sundays series (Tamara McCarthy Enterprises) © 2017 Copyrighted Material

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Have a book you are ready to birth?

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All of these situations and more require assistance; is a Coach required? Reach out today…

Kingdom Gals: “Why Me, God?” Guest Blogger-Tanisha Shanee

Growing up I knew I was different. From daycare, I did not care to go outside and play with my classmates, I was in the books and practicing my penmanship. I was in pursuit of finding “It”. Now, what was it? I did not know, but I was looking for it. I knew there was something I needed to achieve and even at the young age of 3, I was looking for it. So this made school very easy for me because I figured whatever I was looking for was in one of those textbooks. Man… was I wrong. LOL.

I can laugh about it now, but I do wish I understood where it was a lot longer because it would’ve saved me a lot of student loan debt – I finished high school at 16, graduated college at 20, got my MBA, and is 99% completed with my PhD – I am a ABD (all but dissertation). See, I spent my life thinking if I learned more in school I would find happiness, the answer to what I was looking for, and high recognition. But, after every completion of a degree or milestone I still felt like, “Nope, that wasn’t it.”

People never understood why I was so depressed and attempted suicide several times in my life. I was getting very annoyed with trying to figure out why despite having everything that people classified as being successful, I was still incomplete. None of that stuff seemed to matter. This was so frustrating.

In 2012, I started my weight loss journey and when I tell people, it was so unexpected how things turned rapidly in my life See, I cried out to God because I needed His help to lose the weight. I was tired of the many failed diet attempts, the expensive weight loss products, and the memberships I never used. I needed something that would help me change my mind and I guess I would give God a try. But, see God has his own plan and the more you listen to what He presents, you will find yourself trying to figure out, “Well, how in the heck did I end up here?”

2016 was definitely a trigger year. God was sitting directly in my face and was making me very uncomfortable. Here I was receiving so many “downloads” and they were heavy. God was sending me to scripture and I was being told to “release it.” I did not understand why me? I was not a preacher or minister, so why was God sending these messages to me? One day I came across a Pastor from California on Periscope and he said to me, “You cannot run from who you are. God will use anyone, so accept it.” It was so strange because society told me otherwise, but I had to trust God because He did not stop sending the messages, so that meant something, right?

But, despite feeling uncomfortable and not qualified, I felt peace – a peace I never felt before. Had I found it? Did I reach the destination that I was looking for all my life? The wisdom that I was told I had from a child was starting to make sense – it was wisdom from the Lord. God was giving me downloads since I was a child. But, like any other uncomfortable destination, I was worried about this because I was encountering situations that I could not describe; therefore, I wouldn’t tell people. Like random strangers reaching out to me on Facebook asking me to pray for them because “God told me to come to you.” Even though I did not feel comfortable praying with them, I did and they experienced healing. WHAT? Come on, God, you cannot do that? But, I had to accept God can do all things and He will use who He wants to use.

One day I asked God a bold question, “Why did you give this to me? Was this what I sought after all these years?” I imagined my destination would look a lot different. I had accepted that I was a teacher, so I embraced that. I thought I would be a dean at a college, but I guess God said, nope… You’ll be another type of educator.

It is not easy, but every time I release a message from the Lord, I just let it be. When God tells me to do something, I just do it. I understand what when I show up and help someone or speak, I am bringing someone closer to God. When I do not know the person I must give a message to, I no longer think that I am a weirdo because it could be the answer they have been waiting on. When I am sent someone to speak, I know to invite the Holy Spirit with me on that stage because when He does, it is bound to turn the place out – literally.

If you are wondering why you too, don’t. Embrace the calling on your life. Allow God to use you in the manner and way He desires. You are more qualified to complete the mission. You are not a weirdo nor strange – you are gifted and wonderfully made. Get to that destination and get there quickly because the sooner you accept who you are, the people that need you will be able to reach their greatest potential – you are the missing piece.

Tanisha Shanee

Inspirational Speaker

2017 Copyrighted Material Used With Permission (Kingdom Gals Series)

Kingdom Gals: When Opportunity Knocks

When opportunity knocks; do you go running or do you stop and pray?

Now you may ask why am I praying? It’s simple to know from who did this opportunity come!

It may very well be a test from God or a setup from the enemy! And yes it can also be a blessing but you want to check the fruit! Is it good or bad?

The book of Job gives us many examples to know the difference and also realize the possibility that it may not be what our natural eye is seeing. Everyone around Job thought and believed he had done something to be dealing with all these hardships but in fact it was God proving a point! The enemy just knew he was going to break him and he would have the victory but yet once again he was proven wrong!

In the book of Luke you see yet again the enemy is out to get you and sift you like wheat! Do you know the process that wheat has to go through?

The first step in the manual process is for the wheat to be placed on a hard surface and then beaten into the required form. The next step is to remove the parts that aren’t needed by throwing it in the air. Now that was before technology made its debut.

The mechanical process is done by cutting-scooping-throwing-separating and then being spit out into a dump truck or trailer; like its trash! Both of these processes sound painful!

When your in a negative situation it feels like your being sifted! It hurts from the cuts and the jabs that you deal with! Being treated like a doormat and being talked down too! Being kicked down and instead of someone reaching down to help you; they move in to kick you as well!

What is the point of all this? Seek out and accept the right opportunity for the right outcome! Don’t just accept something because it looks and sounds good! And the same goes for relationships! For us as women! Kingdom women you want to check the fruit, check their motives, their character, check your gut (do you get a bad feeling), check their background! Everyone isn’t who they say they are; people will get you caught up and messed up!

So when opportunity comes a knocking; check it at the door and be ready to pull back those layers to get to the root! The root will tell you all you need to know! Get ready to dig!!

2017 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)

Winners Circle: #SpiritualSundays

Coaching For Success – Tarsha L. Campbell
Winner’s Circle

Do you know it’s God’s good pleasure that you win and rise to the top? Joshua 1:8 says, This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

God is of no respect of person and desires for all who employs his divine principles will reap bountiful blessings. I use the word ‘employ’ because this emphasizes the fact that we have to put the principle to work. What we need to understand about a principle is that it remains constant and works when we work it. If we don’t work it, it won’t work, it’s just that simple. I really feel a lot of Christians don’t see the level of success they desire because they are only hearers of the word and not doers.

Also when we do decide to employ the principles of God in our life we don’t do it consistently until we see the desired the results. Many expect a harvest the next day. However, just like it is in the natural if you put a seed in the ground one day you won’t get a harvest the next day. It works the same way when we plant the seeds of spiritual principles in our lives. The harvest will come, but we have to be patient for the complete manifestation of what was planted. The key is being consistent.

Here is a short list of divine principles that will place you in the winner’s circle if you put them to work in your life…and be consistent:

The prayer of faith (Mark 9:23)
Positive confession (Mark 11:23)
Positive thinking (Proverb 23:7)
Giving (Luke 6:38)

I encourage you to read the corresponding scripture for each principle, put the principle to work in your life and then watch God bring the harvest.

Your Next Step Coaching Minute:

How consistent have you been in employing divine principles in your life? Search the scriptures and apply other divine principles for success in your life and set a goal to be consistent for 21 days.

© Tarsha L. Campbell, All Rights Reserved, Use only with permission

Don’t Be So: #SpiritualSundays


Don’t Be So! Written by Evangelist Angie Bee

Don’t be so consumed with the integrity of your work, that you miss an opportunity to minister. Have you ever seen those TV commercials where the child is questioning her parent’s love, because they are cleaning the home on a Saturday instead of spending time with her? Are we busy doing “things” instead of building relationships? Are you missing out on opportunities to share your thoughts, wisdom and love?
Don’t be so effected by your damaged feelings that you forget to pray for your enemies.

In the July 9, 2017 issue of #SpiritualSundays, Ms. McCarthy wrote about “Church Hurt” and how the pain can change your perception of religion, people and even yourself. The article continues to talk about how the devil’s job is to steal from you, kill you and those around you and destroy your perception of life and God’s love for you. This is SO TRUE! We can not let the nudge from an enemy change the pathway that God has placed you upon. When the rock is thrown through your window, you do move out of the house? No! you repair the window! When the house catches on fire, you rebuild! Don’t let the actions or the words from another cause you to feel so much pain that you withdraw from your own path and fail to pray for others. Your prayers may initiate the change in their life that they need!
Don’t be so focused on the Spirit of Excellence that you procrastinate on accomplishing the anointing that was placed on your life, in that moment.

I have spoken to several people over the years that had “visions of grandeur” in terms of a new business or a desired lifestyle. “My business will have state of the art equipment where can provide exceptional service to my clients” or they will say “My home will look like this or my car will be that and people will come to Christ because they want to live like me!”
Over the years, these SAME people have not achieved the status that they aspired to achieve. Why do I believe this is so? These people got SO caught up in the image of doing things with a Spirit of Excellence that they never, even START on the process! Can you imagine if Jesus never began his walk in ministry if his goal was to look excellent or BE excellent or appear excellent? Our sins would never be forgiven! Take that first step! Improve as you go along! LEARN as you make those steps! Strive towards excellence and always give glory to Our Lord through the journey!
In 2 Timothy 2:15 we are instructed to “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth”
and the book of Titus 2:7 instructs us to “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity”.
Model of Good Works – Do the best that you can while you are improving, and stop waiting for the EXCELLENCE to be achieved in order to begin.

Google defines “Integrity” as – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Dignity is defined as “the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect” and also “a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect”.
We are all at the beginning of something new, each and every day that we awaken. Let us not be SO focused on tomorrow that we don’t allow God to lead us today.

Evangelist Angie BEE

Author, Producer, Promoter and Servant of the Lord

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