12 Years Single and Counting: From The Desk of a Single Mom

For some; 12 years may seem like a long time. Many think of it only being 12 years of not being in a committed relationship; this is 12 years and counting of no relationship, no dating and no sexual relations!

Very big difference…Anyone can be single but single and no sex; is a whole different ball game! A ball game that many would rather not attend or even be part of.

Some people will tell you that they can’t live without sex! I tell them I’ve had enough sex; to last me a lifetime! Lust isn’t something I’m looking forward to for the rest of my life; I want real unconditional and mutually given love. I’ve had the one sided relationships were you’re the only one interested in commitment and all they want is sex; no thanks I’ll pass.

None of us are perfect! We as women fall for some make believe jokers; who are counterfeit and deceptive. We fell for it; but, don’t allow that to stop you from being an effective woman and an awesome single mom! I’m speaking from experience; I was led to believe that nobody wanted me with kids! Let me tell you somebody wants me! God wants me! God created me to be a purpose-driven woman and can’t no grown boy come in and change that; not anymore!

12 Years Single and Counting:

I didn’t always believe this; I had to get to this place! I had to do my work! I had to release and get delivered from so much that sought to take me out! I had time to get to know me and finally began to love myself….

I became a better Mom! My relationship with my kids was always good; but, it amplified once I surrendered and submitted to God and gave Him my all..

I became a better Woman!

A Purpose-Driven Woman!

A Determined Woman!

A Godly Woman!

A Spiritual Woman!

A Renewed Woman!

I’ve always had the desire to be married but I wanted to be married; to the right man! I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce. I knew the grown boys that I was playing house with were definitely not fit to fill the role of husband! And, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for the imposters that the enemy had set before me..

3 takeaways I want to leave with you:

1. Don’t allow a defeated mindset to lead you!

2. Don’t allow your right now situation to overtake you.

3. Don’t allow the past situations to immobilize you.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

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#SpiritualSundays: When the Only Way to Go is Up…

When I tell you 2018 has been a crazy year; please believe me. Past years haven’t been all that peachy either and as a Christian you often ask God; “why Lord, when will it get better?”

Day after day, month after month; you get a glimpse of hope here and there; but then you get sidelined once again! You often wonder is it something I’m doing wrong or not doing at all? Is something from my past coming back to bite me or somehow cause this dry and weary season? Please forgive me Lord; please!

I know a lot of you can relate and feel where I’m coming from; all of us don’t get to experience the comfy, gushy life all the time. There are some of us that are taken through the wilderness, those fiery dungeons and those murky waters; and all while going through this have to have that smile on our face and pep in our step!

For some, it’s not an easy task and we lash out instead of looking up! We lash out on those closest to us and even those that have no clue as to what we are dealing with; some of us feel like it’s just too much and just end it all…

As a Christian we are taught or believe that God is our provider: “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.” Psalms 121:1-8 (KJV)

I’m here to tell you that we’ve been down far too long; we can’t get any lower! The only way from here; is Up! Yes, it’s been hard and yes we have been stretched and looked over! But, the only way to go now; is Up!

You can have all the degrees there is to get and still not breaking even! You have years upon years of experience and they still want to offer you chump change! You can easily be a team lead, supervisor, manager; etc but they still won’t recognize, acknowledge or even grant you an interview!

And all while experiencing this you have people in your life that don’t believe in you! Don’t believe that you’re doing your absolute best! They come in and kick you down instead of lifting you up! They walk away as if you never meant anything to them; you stood by them in their time of need and now their nowhere to be found!

I get it; believe me I do! I am writing this from experience and heart ache but you know what gets me through? Trusting and believing in the one that created me!! Our Heavenly Father! Our Alpha and Omega!! Do you know Him?

When everyone else walked away and left me to pick up the pieces on my own; God was right there! Cheering me on and giving me the strength to endure! The struggle is very real but, I’m in it to win it!!

We at least not me; weren’t told that a Christian life would be easy; yes we have this loving Father; but, we also have the enemy who gets insanely upset when you choose a better more fulfilling life! He isn’t going to willingly let you go; you have to break free and that will mean some hard, stressful times ahead!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

So, what do you choose??

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself. 

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life! 

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated! 

#SpiritualSundays: It’s Time To Find Your Voice..Like Right Now!

Do you know how many times the word voice appears in the Bible? In the amplified version; it appears 397 times!

I will be pointing out some of the scripture that pertains to voice throughout this post.

“Through your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have heard and obeyed My voice.” Genesis 22:18 AMP

“But Pharaoh said, “Who is the Lord that I should obey His voice to let Israel go? I do not know the Lord, nor will I let Israel go.” Exodus 5:2 AMP

“God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Do not be afraid, for God has heard the voice of the boy from where he is [resting]”. Genesis 21:17 AMP

“Then the Lord spoke to you from the midst of the fire; you heard the sound of the words, but you saw no form—there was only a voice”. Deuteronomy 4:12 AMP

How do you use your voice?

Do you inspire?

Do you motivate?

Do you encourage?

Do you empower?

Or do you ridicule?

Do you tear others down?

Do you spread hate or lies?

Do you gossip?

It’s time to use your voice but for good and not evil….

Social media has given everyone the opportunity to be seen and heard. Some people use it for good and others not so good. The one thing that I like about social media is that those that choose to use their voice to spread love; have the ability too! You never know who will stumble across your message and it’s something that they need to hear! The power to change lives just by speaking!

Now isn’t that powerful! There is power in your voice; use it wisely….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Babies in my House: #Spiritual Sunday’s Guest Blogger Evangelist Angie Bee

Babies In My House!

There comes a time in the lives of some married couple when a new person invades their honeymoon. Some couples discuss having children while others receive that miracle as an unexpected blessing. I talked to MY husband about children while we were dating and he agreed that if the Lord blesses us to raise a child, he would be okay with that. Well, we prayed over it, I got my house in order and now our home has been invaded. My 6-year old niece from Michigan is spending the summer with us in Florida! #Woo #Hoo!

Having my sister’s only child with us is certainly bringing up a new dynamic in our home! Watching my husband interact with Sandra is a blessing. Just the way she jumps when he speaks, or the way her brow wrinkles when he teases her… it just cracks me up! I have watched her interact with her mom and with my dad (her granddad), but there is just something special about watching her interact with her Uncle. My husband Bartee and I have never raised children together, so having her with us shows me an entirely new aspect of my hubby!

The Bible teaches us in 1 Timothy 5:18 – Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

This summer we are caring for our relatives. My sister is taking a much needed rest from the daily grind of single parenthood and my niece is learning about rules and boundaries with other relatives. They may not live “in our own household”, but I believe that the word household should be extended to include relatives living in other states. Blood doesn’t just run within my four walls; blood is blood. I don’t want to look back year’s later and wonder if there was anything more than I could have done to help raise a niece, cousin, Godchild or nephew.

Each of us have our hands full with our own responsibilities, and I recognize that. Each of us have our own homes to manage, yet Galatians 6:10 tells us Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

This scripture leads ME to believe that, no matter how full our hand’s are, we should still reach out to do all that we can to help one another. We all know a single parent that hasn’t seen an “adult” movie in the theaters in a while. Grab that child for a couple of hours and let that parent go see a movie! Some of you know a “wayward” teenage son that could benefit from some time away from home. Pick them up, take them under your wing and share YOUR testimony with them. You may be able to make a difference in the life of a future leader in your family or your neighborhood.

Lord, thank you for my family. Thank you for our community and thank you for my life. Use me Lord. Speak through me and let your light shine so that others may see your glory. Allow me to be the difference in the life of a child and anoint others to do the same. Thank you for my patient husband Bartee. Please enlarge his territory and lead him on the path that you want US to follow. Thank you Lord. I love you.

In the name of Jesus

Amen

Evangelist Angie BEE

Author, Producer, Promoter and Servant of the Lord

Call us today at 407-914-6519

www.DaQueenBee.com

Audio Book Production Specialists

“Bringing Your Words To Their Ears”

2012 Female Radio Show Host of the Year 

Recognized by the global One Accord DJ Alliance

2014 Ordained as an Evangelist by

Fellowship Church of Praise of Volusia County 

2015 recipient of the Outstanding Ministry Leader Award

for ourMoms-n-Ministry Workshop

Presented by the Professional Women of Excellence, Inc.

2016 recipient of the prestigious “Palm Tree (Endurance) Award”

Presented by Mary & Martha Ministries, Orlando

April 2017 recognized as an Amazon #1 Best selling author by

Melanie Bonita Enterprises for contributing to the book

Daily Dose of Direction for Women In Business

Author, Media Producer, Promoter & Motivational Speaker

View our past events, commercials, VIDEO NEWS segments

and TV show episodes at www.YouTube.com/AngieBEEpresents 

Purchase your Kindle copies of my books:

“Last Week… I Wanted To Die”

Evolution of Da Queen Bee” and 

“In The Beginning there was God, Me & You”

Visit us online today at

www.Facebook.com/DaQueenBeeEvangelistAngieBEE

Twitter.com/AngieBEEtour 

Learn about The TOUR online at

www.Facebook.com/TheTOURthatAngieBEEpresents

Then I heard the Lord asking, 

“Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? 

Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” – Isaiah 6:8

BEE Blessed!

Is it Time for a Shift? #Mindset Monday’s

Mindset: This is generally your attitude towards something or someone. You make up in your mind how you feel and that lays the foundation on how you deal or interact…..

If you have a positive outlook; then your attitude or mindset is positive!

If you have a negative outlook; then your attitude or mindset is negative!

If you don’t like someone or they don’t like you; then generally the interaction will be limited or negative.

If you’re consistently thinking something will go wrong; then most likely it will; because your thought process will generate what you think on the most.

Have you heard the saying, “You are what you eat?“; the same applies to how you speak and how your thought process is!

If your consistently speaking negative in and over your life; how does that make room for any positive to come in? And this applies to what others my say or speak in and over your life as well! There have been a few times where I’ve had to stop or correct others for speaking negativity into/over my life!

Words are very powerful; even when their negative! That’s why we have to “think before we speak”! “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue”. Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

Is it time for a shift in your thinking process? In how you speak about/over yourself and others? How you interact with others? Does your mindset require a shift?

Change isn’t always fun; but in many instances it’s necessary…..

©️2018 Copyrighted Material Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

To reference scripture used: http://www.biblegateway.com

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Inner Circle: Who Is In Yours?

Godly Relationships….Godly Community…..Godly Connections…..

Ask yourself:

Do you have them? Do you fit in with them? Do you inspire them?

What do your relationships look like?

Do you have community that you can count on? Who can you call when you are in trouble?

What kind of friend are you? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself; when it comes to relationships! So many are seeking relationships-friendships; but lack everything they are seeking in another!

Let’s take a look at some biblical journeys of Godly relationships-friendships to get a feel of what they look like……

Daniel Represents:

“Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon. Daniel made a request of the king, and he appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego over the affairs of the province of Babylon. But Daniel remained at the king’s court.” Daniel 2:48-49 (ESV)

Ask yourself:

Do you have Godly Relationships that when they are promoted; they don’t forgot about you and how you held them down? When Daniel went in to interpret the King’s Dream who did he ask to petition God? Do you have friends that will aid you in getting your prayers answered?

Ruth takes a stand:

“But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.” Ruth 1:16-18 (ESV)

The story of Ruth shows us a perfect example of a Godly Relationship-Community-Connections…..Not only did she desire to not return to her people; her previous life! She got the ultimate blessing in the end!

Ask yourself:

Do you allow people to see the real you or the mask?

Do you allow people to see you broken and hurt?

Do you allow people to speak into your life?

Do you allow others to help mold you into your best self?

Friendship-Relationships shouldn’t be created as a one-way street! So many people are focused on what they will get out of a relationship; they forget to figure out what they bring to the table!

When Jesus set out to complete his mission; he knew he would need others to assist him. Spreading the word of God isn’t an easy task because you will always have those that rebel. Jesus knew he needed a team to walk along side of him and those He could trust when He wasn’t around to still spread the good news!

But guess what? It wasn’t a one-way relationship! Yes, the disciples gave up much to walk with Jesus; but look at what they gained for being part of His Inner Circle!

Ask yourself:

Do you have what it takes to be part of Godly Relationships-Community?

Are you willing to remove the mask and show your real-true self?

Are you willing to put aside what no longer serves you?

Can you commit to helping others succeed in life; without personal gain?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Baby Daddy Season is Over…

First of all, this post isn’t about bashing or putting down anyone! It’s all about respect and both parties learning and knowing how to respect the other person and having boundaries!

Let’s begin:

Have you ever heard the saying “you teach people how to treat you?” My uncle told me something similar years ago; and I always remember his words. Especially when I find myself in a situation where someone isn’t fully respecting me, my time; my space, etc.

As a single mom I shouldn’t have to accommodate; baby daddy and make his life easier! It doesn’t work that way; it’s suppose to be treated like a partnership; 50-50; right?

Without telling all my business and making him look like a real deadbeat; I will share some of what I am constantly going through with this dude; because I know other single moms can relate!

He says he will get the kids this day or that day and then at the last minute; he can’t get them anymore! There have been numerous times he didn’t even say anything; he just didn’t show! Each time I have had to pick the pieces of my boys hearts up off the floor; me not him! I have to deal with their anger of why he didn’t come and get them; me not him!

So over the years I have had to take a stand and say no more! I have a back up option just in case he doesn’t show up; so their hearts aren’t completely crushed! This recent incident I gave him the common courtesy to work out a day that I could drive them halfway to him (because he never wants to drive the whole way) and he never responded! So I got my back up plan in place and it was smooth sailing until 3 days later; he wants to respond and tell me not ask, this is when I can get them. Excuse me sir; we have plans and we aren’t changing them to accommodate you!

How dare I do that? It’s sad, but after all these years this guy still doesn’t respect me and never will! I understand this and realized this years ago! You control how people treat you! You can’t continue to allow people to walk over you and use you as their door mate!

Have you heard this saying? “You reap what you sow!” This is another saying that I keep in the back of my mind; and it applies to all of us. I can only control what I do and how I react to things. Am I being difficult; no I am just asking for the same courtesy; respect!

Even though he doesn’t respect me; I respect myself. I put those boundaries in place and he can’t cross them; because I am in control of my thoughts and how I react!

How many of us; as single moms, have bent over backwards to accommodate baby daddies; who don’t respect us or care how they hurt our children when they don’t do right?

When will it stop?

I had a pastor tell me; I should do everything in my power so my kids can see their father! Really, when he doesn’t even want to lift a hand? When he doesn’t respond to a simple text or call? When he goes out of his way not to pay child support? I’m sorry; who is that helping?

This is the reality of so many women, single moms and their kids! This is the life we live; not the life we have chosen….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!