From The Desk of a Single Mom: God Wants You to Have More….

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. John 10:10 (NKJV)

For some; this is music to your ears! Jesus came so that we can have a better life; but, it doesn’t exempt us from the hand of the enemy!

Life can be sweet for some and hard for others. You can live by the rules and still go through some rough patches. When you make a decision in life to begin to live according to the word of God; (bible) no one really tells you that you will still go through hard times. But, if you read your Bible you will find out for yourself; that even Jesus went through some rough times! He was betrayed by many who said they believed in him and even walked with him! The devil came for him just as he comes for us with his twisted schemes! But we have to stay strong and not allow the bad times to overtake us!

We can’t feel sorry for ourselves and let the disappointments and hardships sink in and swallow us whole! Even though we go through the fire; God will see us through! Even though those jobs you keep applying for turn you down; God will see you through! Even though that promotion that comes with more money and flexibility; didn’t come through; God is still for you! Even though the very people you went out of your way for; turned their backs on you; God is still with you!

When bad things begin to happen; people always blame God! Why did God allow this to happen? Why didn’t God do something? Many of us fail to realize that the enemy wants you to think and speak this way! He wants you to turn away from God; don’t give him that satisfaction! Realize who it is; that is against you, and remember who it is; that is for you! You see that scripture above? John 10:10 tells you exactly who you’re dealing with! It tells you what his role is; remember that.

We have to be on guard and keep ourselves covered! What does that mean? Pray, discern, keep the faith, don’t get distracted, don’t be tempted, and remember the promise! What’s the promise? Abundance…may it overflow into your life……

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator and Single Mom!!!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Where is the Unity? Sisterhood Chronicles

Many times in life; you will have to be the one that has to speak the unpopular! Social media paints a picture that all is well; and it doesn’t always show the true picture.

And then, we also have to remember that our situation isn’t the same for others in the world. While we may have some good relationships with other women; it doesn’t mean the person standing next to you; can relate! The world and the people in it; aren’t perfect.

I wanted to share something that I sent to my email list subscribers yesterday:

How are you doing?

Can we chat for just a moment? When did we as women get to the place of not loving our fellow sisters? As I was scrolling through social media the other day. I came across a story of two teen girls whose life was shattered; in a matter of minutes! One was dead and the other was in jail. Why? Because they were fighting over a boy!

So, I ask again; when did we get here? When was it okay for us as young ladies and grown women to act and respond this way? It just doesn’t start there; when did we get so comfortable putting another women down or talk about her; instead of lifting her up? Offering our assistance; when she needs it!

So many of us are afraid that by helping others; we will somehow be in lack! That is not of God! God doesn’t promote hate, jealously or strife! But, I know who does! When did we begin to hate or stop talking to each other; simply because another women has a problem with someone? What happened to being a mediator and getting down to the root cause of the problem? Because, it is something more going on; that women don’t want to talk about! 

I’m very passionate about sisterhood and women forming lasting friendships… Why? I have throughout my lifetime been on the receiving end of what I speak about! As a young girl; I’ve had classmates attempt to jump me, I’ve had them spread false rumors about me, I’ve been called all kinds of names by them; and even in my adult life much of the same has occurred. 

In 2015, when God told me it was time for me to find my voice; I really didn’t want to start speaking up; but I am starting to see now that it’s necessary and needed. Too many of us stay silent and only speak about those things that serve us….

If you’re reading this; I thank you for taking out the time. We can change the outcome; one person at a time!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Kingdom Gals: For the Love of Money….

What would you do to become rich, wealthy or comfortable? Do you chase money or does money chase you? Are you a lover of money?

Money does make the world go round! Or so they say! But are you suppose to allow money to rule you? Are you supposed to allow it to run your life? Shouldn’t money be under your control?

It seems like everyone and everybody is talking about money these days! Social media is filled with people telling you and showing you various ways to get money, become financially independent and how to become an entrepreneur!

But, is that the will of God for your life or is that some illusion you have become fascinated with? Money is a necessity don’t get me wrong; we all need it to pay bills to survive! But should money be your main focus? Should it become your motive to succeed in this life? Should it become more important than your purpose?

Let’s look at it from this perspective:

Multiple streams of income? Do you welcome this concept? Not sure why I awoke with this on my mind; but as a Single Mom I wish I knew more about this years ago. (The life of a single mom can be hard at times; and money can be scarce at times)

Having multiple streams of income would’ve definitely helped with the bills and just the financial aspect that comes with raising kids!

When you have only one income coming in; you have to stretch it and many times have to make sacrifices to make it work!

Could this be an example of living abundantly? Or being a lender and not a borrower? Or even using the gifts that have been implanted in us to prosper? (From the Bible standpoint what are your thoughts?)

Just remember this; all money isn’t good money! The enemy knows that money is an requirement to live and he will throw all kinds of get rich quick schemes your way! Be on guard and know when it benefits his motives or God’s…..There is a difference..

When we take a look at the Bible we know it talks about “living abundantly” “prospering” “paying your tithes” “being a lender and not a borrower” but does it tell us how to maintain, build wealth, etc.

I believe it does when it speaks on our gifts/talents! We are all supplied gifts and talents but it’s all in how you use them! Are you using them to build up or break down? Are you using them to scheme or mislead? Are you using them to advance your negative lifestyle or motives? Are you using them to change someone’s life?

There are endless opportunities in this world to do some good and live an amazing life according to the Bible!

Things to consider when it comes to money:

1. Money shouldn’t be the main focus!

2. Your Purpose shouldn’t be based off of money!

3. If you have to lie, scheme, kill, sell your soul or your body! Run and don’t look back; it’s definitely not worth it!

4. Every opportunity to gain or build wealth or just survive isn’t a Kingdom opportunity; check the fruit, motives and end game!

5. If it changes your character and outlook on life; then look within and decide if something in you needs to change!

©2017 Copyrighted Material Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)

Spiritual Sundays: Broken but Alive

Have you ever had something break in your life and thought at that time you would surely die? It was the end of your world; there was no coming back?

Well I’m here to tell you dry those tears; get your mind and thoughts in check and move forward! Climb that mountain! Cross that river! Ride that cloud! And just rejoice!

Everything that seems like it’s your worst day can turn into the best life lesson and motivation that you need to reach your next level!

When Jesus told Peter to get out the boat; did Peter say no or did he get out? Yes he took his eyes of Jesus for a mere second but he knew that without Jesus he couldn’t do it! (Matthew 14:22-33)

When God told Noah to build the Ark, did Noah say nope just let me and my family go down like everybody else? No, he got to working and building! (Genesis 6:1-22)

When Adam trusted Eve more than he did God and was banished from the Garden; did he give up and say I’m done and just whither away? No, he still went on to live and multiply in the Earth! (Genesis 3:1-23)

Abraham and Sarai: she felt empty and broken and would’ve rather given her husband to another woman than to wait on God! (Genesis 16:1-15; Genesis 18:1-15)

What have you done in your season of brokenness that would appear out of order? Did you go out and react on your own or did you wait on God? Many times there are lessons, healing, revelations, clarity, marching orders, quiet time, etc; in the midst of your brokenness!

This past week I slipped and fell trying to prevent an even bigger disaster from happening and ended up breaking my ankle and my foot! As I went down I knew something was wrong and on my own I couldn’t fix it; as my brother rushed to my side he immediately began to comfort me and reassure me it wasn’t as bad as it looked; I was going to be fine! (At first glance, rush of pain and the sound of something breaking; I was sure my leg was broken and my heart just dropped)

Long story but here’s the short version; yes I broke two areas that I need to effectively stand up and proceed to walk into the life that God has designed for me. But, somewhere in the midst He requires us to rest and recharge ourselves!

You see we always think of the bad and not the in between! Yes, for me this may look like a set-back but in God’s eyes He is preparing me for something so big and so awesome that He knew I would need time to adjust! (Genesis 2:2, Matthew 14:23, Luke 6:12, Luke 5:15-16, Mark 6:31, Mark 1:35)

Where in your life are you feeling broken?

What areas do you feel you can work on?

How can you get past the thoughts of brokenness?

Have you tried to pray and ask for guidance and clarity?

Don’t rush the process. Use this time wisely and figure out what You need to do! Whatever the situation look at the bright side of it! In the in-between is where you will find your answers and solutions!

Written and Published by Tamara D McCarthy for Spiritual Sundays series (Tamara McCarthy Enterprises) © 2017 Copyrighted Material

Website: http://www.tamaramccarthyenterprises.com

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Coaching needed?

Contact me @ singlemomofpurpose@gmail.com

Have a book you are ready to birth?

Life has you lost in translation?

Feeling broken?

Single mom at her wits end?

Do you have lots of questions and no answers?

All of these situations and more require assistance; is a Coach required? Reach out today…

Kingdom Gals: “Why Me, God?” Guest Blogger-Tanisha Shanee

Growing up I knew I was different. From daycare, I did not care to go outside and play with my classmates, I was in the books and practicing my penmanship. I was in pursuit of finding “It”. Now, what was it? I did not know, but I was looking for it. I knew there was something I needed to achieve and even at the young age of 3, I was looking for it. So this made school very easy for me because I figured whatever I was looking for was in one of those textbooks. Man… was I wrong. LOL.

I can laugh about it now, but I do wish I understood where it was a lot longer because it would’ve saved me a lot of student loan debt – I finished high school at 16, graduated college at 20, got my MBA, and is 99% completed with my PhD – I am a ABD (all but dissertation). See, I spent my life thinking if I learned more in school I would find happiness, the answer to what I was looking for, and high recognition. But, after every completion of a degree or milestone I still felt like, “Nope, that wasn’t it.”

People never understood why I was so depressed and attempted suicide several times in my life. I was getting very annoyed with trying to figure out why despite having everything that people classified as being successful, I was still incomplete. None of that stuff seemed to matter. This was so frustrating.

In 2012, I started my weight loss journey and when I tell people, it was so unexpected how things turned rapidly in my life See, I cried out to God because I needed His help to lose the weight. I was tired of the many failed diet attempts, the expensive weight loss products, and the memberships I never used. I needed something that would help me change my mind and I guess I would give God a try. But, see God has his own plan and the more you listen to what He presents, you will find yourself trying to figure out, “Well, how in the heck did I end up here?”

2016 was definitely a trigger year. God was sitting directly in my face and was making me very uncomfortable. Here I was receiving so many “downloads” and they were heavy. God was sending me to scripture and I was being told to “release it.” I did not understand why me? I was not a preacher or minister, so why was God sending these messages to me? One day I came across a Pastor from California on Periscope and he said to me, “You cannot run from who you are. God will use anyone, so accept it.” It was so strange because society told me otherwise, but I had to trust God because He did not stop sending the messages, so that meant something, right?

But, despite feeling uncomfortable and not qualified, I felt peace – a peace I never felt before. Had I found it? Did I reach the destination that I was looking for all my life? The wisdom that I was told I had from a child was starting to make sense – it was wisdom from the Lord. God was giving me downloads since I was a child. But, like any other uncomfortable destination, I was worried about this because I was encountering situations that I could not describe; therefore, I wouldn’t tell people. Like random strangers reaching out to me on Facebook asking me to pray for them because “God told me to come to you.” Even though I did not feel comfortable praying with them, I did and they experienced healing. WHAT? Come on, God, you cannot do that? But, I had to accept God can do all things and He will use who He wants to use.

One day I asked God a bold question, “Why did you give this to me? Was this what I sought after all these years?” I imagined my destination would look a lot different. I had accepted that I was a teacher, so I embraced that. I thought I would be a dean at a college, but I guess God said, nope… You’ll be another type of educator.

It is not easy, but every time I release a message from the Lord, I just let it be. When God tells me to do something, I just do it. I understand what when I show up and help someone or speak, I am bringing someone closer to God. When I do not know the person I must give a message to, I no longer think that I am a weirdo because it could be the answer they have been waiting on. When I am sent someone to speak, I know to invite the Holy Spirit with me on that stage because when He does, it is bound to turn the place out – literally.

If you are wondering why you too, don’t. Embrace the calling on your life. Allow God to use you in the manner and way He desires. You are more qualified to complete the mission. You are not a weirdo nor strange – you are gifted and wonderfully made. Get to that destination and get there quickly because the sooner you accept who you are, the people that need you will be able to reach their greatest potential – you are the missing piece.

Tanisha Shanee

Inspirational Speaker

2017 Copyrighted Material Used With Permission (Kingdom Gals Series)

Kingdom Gals: The Journey to Self-Confidence

Guest Blogger: Eniola Olaosebikan

Life is a journey, so is our self-confidence. It is a process that kicks off the moment we recognize the difference between right and wrong; and also the moment we become aware enough to compare our lives with that of others. It is termed a process because of its progressive nature. As a result, for every new phase of our lives, we will need an increase in confidence.

Our inability to build up confidence per time results into low self-esteem; all because we insist on using the confidence of a previous phase to handle a brand new, and at that- higher phase. This in a way can be likened to a teenager insisting on sleeping on his cot, despite his grown age. To dig deeper into self-confidence as a journey rather than just a phase in our lives or something we possess once and for all, it will be good to start with knowing what self-confidence is.

Self-confidence refers to the way we view or see ourselves. It is what we see to be the reflection of us when we look or think about ourselves: It is our inner self reflected back to our outer self.It is something we must learn and adapt to basically on our own.

In as much as factors and people may sometimes contribute to it, the bulk of the work lies on us. That is why it is called self-confidence and not people-confidence. It has to come from a place on the inside.

If self-confidence is our basic duty to carry out, how then do we generate it?

1. Spending time with God

How beautiful is it when the maker of a thing tells the product about itself? Wonderful, isn’t it? Who else can tell it better than the maker itself; the one who foresaw it, saw how good it would be and decided to create it based on the goodness formed in his heart?

The strongest form of confidence is the one we gain from the Lord- either through His Word spoken to us or the one written to us. Spending time with God as a Christian is necessary for a healthy self-worth and a great inner strength.

Spending time with God is like an exchange.  God gives us more of Himself even as He takes away (through processes) our inadequacies. The more time we spend with God, the more we get to know and discover ourselves. God exposes who we are to us (both who we are at the moment, and versions of who we were originally created to be) when we spend time in His Presence. Spending time with Him aligns us to His intent for us upon creation.

A look at the life of David, spending time with God gave him the inner strength to defeat all that needed to be defeated in his lifetime. It gave him the strength to kill bears and lions with his bare hands, and also imparted in him the knowledge to slay a man like Goliath who was not only higher than him in height, but also in battlefield experiences. Come to think of it, David was only a little boy when he defeated Goliath, how did He come about such confidence and boldness even as a little child? It was sure through spending time with God and God revealing who He really is to him on the inside, a factor that reflected not only in the way he saw himself but also the way he saw situations and related to people. His brothers, even the king at the time- Saul tried to dissuade him, but because of what He knew about God and himself, he knew he was well able and it was never about his stature or age. Self-confidence gained through spending time with God will make us defeat giants within and without.

Our self-confidence is never about what people think of us, but what we think of ourselves and the eyes through which we see ourselves. When we see ourselves through God’s eyes, we see ourselves right.

2. Spending time with ourselves

Spending time with ourselves enables us to know ourselves in possible details and the areas in which we need help/change. It helps us pay utmost attention to ourselves. Spending time with ourselves places the focus on us for better reasons; we are able to decipher who we really are away from the crowd.

When we spend time alone, we gain insights into the opinions we have of ourselves; such opinions we can easily divide into good or bad and therefore decide the ones which stays and the ones which goes.

Quite a number of people know nothing about themselves, and so, talk cheaply about themselves because they’ve not taken enough time to think about themselves and mirror who they truly are.

They simply absorb other people’s opinions (both negative and positive) about them without internally challenging them to see if that is really who they are.

Spending time with ourselves is simply paying attention to ourselves, especially our inner yearnings, opinions, desires and needs per time. It enables us to be sensitive to ourselves and our needs.

Spending time with ourselves also makes us know what soothes us and what doesn’t. It makes us fight our battles in our own skin and not someone else’. This can be seen in the life of David when Saul- the king offered him his armor. David was able to reject the armor because he knew himself duly and what he could work in.

In the end, knowing ourselves will save us from a lot of pain, shame and abuse.

3. Cultivating a reading culture

Reading opens us up and adds wisdom to us provided the right books are read.  It widens our views about life. Reading makes us grow in areas we should grow and as a result, prevents us from making mistakes that would have been made. With reading, we really don’t have to get to our old age before we begin to ooze out wisdom and act based on it.

Reading is a seed sown that grows up as a giant tree- a tree of wisdom. It literarily places a ladder at our feet; making us see wider and better. It gives us a better view of life- a much wider view and it sharpens our knowledge of good and bad. It also helps us to efficiently separate needs from wants without comparing our lives to others to determine what is needful.

Reading takes us through time and brings us wisdom. It deposits into our present the wisdom we would have gained in our old age through experience. It gives us an edge of time and the opportunity to maximize it. Besides, knowledge is the vehicle through which we travel through time to gain wisdom. Reading great books provides such experience.

4. Developing our skills.

There’s such confidence that comes out of knowing one’s value. When we know who we are and what we as individuals can offer, we will not be easily threatened (if at all we will be) by other people- especially their successes. The better we get at our skill, the more confident we become. Honing our skills and using them right contributes to our self-worth in the long run.

Conclusively, to see ourselves right, we have to be committed to the life we live. We have to be intentional to live our lives the way God intended and expects. We don’t have to be perfect to live in confidence, we only have to be receptive to God’s Word and committed to spending time with Him; and also pay attention to ourselves (especially our innermost self), and cultivate a learning culture such that will give us needed wisdom per time and help hone our skills to such level where only the best version of ourselves stares at us in front of the mirror per time. We also have to know that self-confidence is a continuous journey, never a phase. Just like our apps and gadgets, we have to keep updating it per time lest it goes out of ‘fashion’ and we find ourselves lacking in confidence once again. Different level of confidence is needed for different phases, and as a matter of fact, the higher the phase, the higher the confidence needed and required. So, it’ll be helpful to see ourselves as a constant work in progress and be willing to do all we can to become a finished work.

P.S: Only death makes us a finished work, so, till we die, we keep striving to keep ourselves upgraded!

2017 Copyrighted Eniola Olaosebikan used with Permission for Kingdom Gals Series

Kingdom Gals: When Opportunity Knocks

When opportunity knocks; do you go running or do you stop and pray?

Now you may ask why am I praying? It’s simple to know from who did this opportunity come!

It may very well be a test from God or a setup from the enemy! And yes it can also be a blessing but you want to check the fruit! Is it good or bad?

The book of Job gives us many examples to know the difference and also realize the possibility that it may not be what our natural eye is seeing. Everyone around Job thought and believed he had done something to be dealing with all these hardships but in fact it was God proving a point! The enemy just knew he was going to break him and he would have the victory but yet once again he was proven wrong!

In the book of Luke you see yet again the enemy is out to get you and sift you like wheat! Do you know the process that wheat has to go through?

The first step in the manual process is for the wheat to be placed on a hard surface and then beaten into the required form. The next step is to remove the parts that aren’t needed by throwing it in the air. Now that was before technology made its debut.

The mechanical process is done by cutting-scooping-throwing-separating and then being spit out into a dump truck or trailer; like its trash! Both of these processes sound painful!

When your in a negative situation it feels like your being sifted! It hurts from the cuts and the jabs that you deal with! Being treated like a doormat and being talked down too! Being kicked down and instead of someone reaching down to help you; they move in to kick you as well!

What is the point of all this? Seek out and accept the right opportunity for the right outcome! Don’t just accept something because it looks and sounds good! And the same goes for relationships! For us as women! Kingdom women you want to check the fruit, check their motives, their character, check your gut (do you get a bad feeling), check their background! Everyone isn’t who they say they are; people will get you caught up and messed up!

So when opportunity comes a knocking; check it at the door and be ready to pull back those layers to get to the root! The root will tell you all you need to know! Get ready to dig!!

2017 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)