The Surprising Truth About Being Single.

So, you’re probably wondering what this surprising truth is? Well, I think we all as individuals have that surprising truth that will make others shake their heads in disbelief. I think it really depends on where you are mentality and if you’ve been keeping yourself busy. Some people may be lonely, they may be out there going on dates each and every weekend, they may be sleeping around, they may be juggling more than one person along; I can go on and on but let me tell you about my surprising truths.

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And, it also depends on if you have dealt with any past issues; in your life. As well, as past relationships! For me, one of the surprising truths is: that I am not lonely! Why do people assume that you’re lonely if you’re single? Lol, I’m an introvert; so being single bothers me not one bit! I love my peace and quiet! And coming out of domestic violence relationships; I very well needed and enjoy a stress-free lifestyle. Who likes getting punched around and called all kinds of un-pretty names? Not me!

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Coming out of bad relationships; you want to take some time for yourself to work through everything that you experienced; so, it doesn’t repeat itself in the next relationship. Why jump right into the next relationship and you haven’t healed from the previous one first? Everyone goes through different experiences so yours may not match mine but taking whatever issue it was into a new relationship; just spells disaster; especially if that person has it together and even if they don’t; the outcome may not be pretty.

When you do your work; you’re able to pick up on signs and signals early on and will have a clear mind; to make the right decision on how to proceed.

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Back to the surprising truth; people that don’t know your full story of why you’re single in the first place; will assume and jump to conclusions!  Not too long ago an acquaintance of mine sent me a video and the video insisted that I would be single for the rest of my life; if I continued to wait on God. Now, this older lady knows that I am a Christian; knows that I am an author; but hasn’t read any of my books. But, decided to send me this video that went against everything that I believed! Now I haven’t responded to her because some people simply don’t warrant a response.  She claims to be a Christian as well, but her behavior and speech doesn’t always match up.

 

The video went on to say a number of things that I won’t even repeat; but this woman would’ve known this video wouldn’t seat well with me. When you take the time to get to know people on a personal level you know how to approach them! I believe that whomever my husband will be; will Find ME!! That’s what the Bible says: Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (NIV)

I am not part of that foolish that is going on with women asking men to marry them!! You will not hear that mess come out my mouth! I don’t care who he is!! I don’t care how times have times have changed! I am still old fashioned!! Men ask Women to marry Them!!

Adam chose EVE!! Yes, God created HER, but Adam had to Like What He Saw!! Genesis 20:21-22So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.  So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (NIV) 

Can you imagine going through guy after guy to find the one that will eventually like and want to fall in love with you? Look, I been on that downward spiral before; its time consuming; I have more meaningful things to do with me time! Like raise my kids! Who’s going to raise them; if I’m in the streets chasing after Grown Boys?

Not all of us are Godly Women; I get that, and everyone has their opinion and we all have a choice! But, we have to do better at approaching and assuming! Have a conversation with people; get to know who they are, what they believe, share your testimony, lend your hear; share some encouraging words!

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Some other reasons I am single; I don’t want all these strange men around my kids. Your kids see and mimic what you do! I wrote about in one of my books; of wanting to break the cycle! I don’t want my kids to live the life that I was living when I had them! I want them to see a different; more cleaner version of me! We, as a family are at our happiest and I don’t want to mess that up! When we as women get into a relationship and it turns violent; our kids see that! How do you think that is going to impact their lives? Why continue if you know it can affect them? If I have to be single until they are all grown; then so be it! They got pedophiles out here who will play on your emotions just to get to your kids! My kid’s safety outweighs my happiness! As women we can sometimes be blinded to the things that are happening right in front of us because we think we are happy and have this awesome person in our lives.

Many of us lose our way when we get into the wrong relationships! We only have one life; why waste it on people who are only out to use and abuse you? When we wait on the right person to come into our lives; we are able to work on ourselves and whatever gifts we have been blessed with! I never would’ve imagined being an author of 16 books and counting, writing a blog that reaches people internationally, being able to speak life into other women that have been in similar situations as me, being able to change my life from bad to good, being able to be single and happy for over 11 years; I can really keep going but I think you get my point!

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I am not going to allow anyone to push me back into an old lifestyle! I am not going to allow anyone to hinder my growth! I am not going to allow anyone to diminish my shine! I am not going to allow anyone to box me in! When I said Yes to God, I didn’t fully know everything I was getting into! I didn’t know the attacks would be many; people who don’t know you and your story will came at you from every direction. Be ready and be on guard! When you decide that you want Better for your life; people will take that as a personal insult; they will look at you like you believe you are better than them! I don’t believe I am better than anyone; I just want to be My Best Version of Myself! 

So, you see; the Surprising Truth About Being Single depends on You. Where are you at in your journey? You may be tired, you may be ready to just marry the next person that speaks to you; we all have a story to tell. What’s yours?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy
©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.
I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

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#SpiritualSundays: 6 Steps to Enlarge Your Borders. Written by Tarsha L. Campbell

Are you yearning to take your life to a whole new level? Do you aspire to reach beyond your current boundaries and enlarge your territory? If you answered “yes” to these two questions than this article is for you! Below are six steps I personally employed in my own life to enlarge my borders and step into the divine spaces prepared for me. Let’s check them out:

  1. Desire More

To desire means to long for. So many people lack desire. They have resolved to settle for the status quo. You must realize in order to have more, you have to reach for more. This means stepping out of your comfort zone and going beyond what you are accustom to. (Matthew 7:7-8)

  1. Envision More

You have to see beyond what’s around you to enlarge your borders. Having vision is important when stretching forth into new territory. Vision is the vehicle that propels you to new dimensions.
Vision involves seeing the new territory before you even leave the station. (Proverbs 29:18)

  1. Seek God For Strategies

When desiring to stretch out into larger territory the first place to start is in prayer. Seeking God for strategies to enlarge your borders is essential to your success. In doing so, you ensure you are moving forth in the right direction.  A strategy is a plan of action, a game plan designed to achieve a goal. Without a plan of action you are planning to fail. (John 2:1-5)

  1. Execute the Plan

Execute means to carry out the plan, to work. This is where most people drop the ball. To enlarge your borders it takes action on your part. When God gives you strategies it’s up to you to work them and see them through to completion. (James 2:17-18)

  1. Avoid “Border Control

In your quest to enlarge your borders you have to avoid people that try to place limits on your growth. It is important to establish divine connections. Be lead by the Spirit to connect with people who are going your way and cut loose from those who try to control your advancement and progress. (Matthew 18:18-20)

  1. Praise God For New Ground

This final step is an act of faith. Even before you reach the new territory you need to acknowledge the one from whom all blessings flow. It is through God’s grace you will accomplish your goal. In praising Him you release His unlimited favor on your behalf! (Psalm 107:7-9)

(Scripture references from King James Version)

© 2018 Tarsha L. Campbell, All rights reserved. This is copy-written material, use only with permission from the author. http://www.TarshaCampbellEmpowers.com

Kingdom Gals: Can You Deny Yourself? Tamara McCarthy

It’s official; we made it through the 1st 2 weeks of the New Year! I don’t know about you; but, 2018 is already feeling like a AWESOME YEAR! Big things are going to happen this year; do you believe it?

Come on now; you have to feel all this goodness floating around in the atmosphere. Just reach out and grab hold of it……

Let me let you in on a little secret; in order to grasp all the goodness; you have to deny access to the bad stuff! Yep, you heard me right; get rid of all that old smelly stuff you been holding on to. Do I really have to spell it out for you? One-sided relationships, negative thinking, sinful behavior; ungodly speech, destructive motives, etc.

How do you expect to find favor and gain access to a better life when you aren’t willing to give up some stuff? You want to lose weight; but you won’t stop eating the foods that are putting on the pounds; and causing strife in your body? You want to gain better employment but you won’t apply your education; your knowledge? You want people to respect you; but you don’t respect yourself?

This is the month; the time of the year were so many are starting and implementing their new years resolutions. It’s time to get in where you can fit it in! Detox your mind, your body, your thoughts, your habits, your spirit and your soul. It’s time to DENY YOURSELF…..”Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” Matthew 16:24 (NKJV)

So again I say and I ask you the question: Can You Deny Yourself? Can you let go of what no longer serves you?

Join me as I step out of the boat and walk out into the deep raging waters; but remember to always keep your eyes on HIM….

Things to Remember:

  1. The Battle can’t be WON without proper execution and strategy!
  2. Allow others to hold you ACCOUNTABLE..
  3. Pray it out; HE is always Listening…

 

©2018 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)