From the Desk of a Single Mom: Where is the Unity? Sisterhood Chronicles

Many times in life; you will have to be the one that has to speak the unpopular! Social media paints a picture that all is well; and it doesn’t always show the true picture.

And then, we also have to remember that our situation isn’t the same for others in the world. While we may have some good relationships with other women; it doesn’t mean the person standing next to you; can relate! The world and the people in it; aren’t perfect.

I wanted to share something that I sent to my email list subscribers yesterday:

How are you doing?

Can we chat for just a moment? When did we as women get to the place of not loving our fellow sisters? As I was scrolling through social media the other day. I came across a story of two teen girls whose life was shattered; in a matter of minutes! One was dead and the other was in jail. Why? Because they were fighting over a boy!

So, I ask again; when did we get here? When was it okay for us as young ladies and grown women to act and respond this way? It just doesn’t start there; when did we get so comfortable putting another women down or talk about her; instead of lifting her up? Offering our assistance; when she needs it!

So many of us are afraid that by helping others; we will somehow be in lack! That is not of God! God doesn’t promote hate, jealously or strife! But, I know who does! When did we begin to hate or stop talking to each other; simply because another women has a problem with someone? What happened to being a mediator and getting down to the root cause of the problem? Because, it is something more going on; that women don’t want to talk about! 

I’m very passionate about sisterhood and women forming lasting friendships… Why? I have throughout my lifetime been on the receiving end of what I speak about! As a young girl; I’ve had classmates attempt to jump me, I’ve had them spread false rumors about me, I’ve been called all kinds of names by them; and even in my adult life much of the same has occurred. 

In 2015, when God told me it was time for me to find my voice; I really didn’t want to start speaking up; but I am starting to see now that it’s necessary and needed. Too many of us stay silent and only speak about those things that serve us….

If you’re reading this; I thank you for taking out the time. We can change the outcome; one person at a time!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Fatherless Generation

“You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.” Exodus 22:21-24 (ESV)

———Woke up this morning with the urge to pray for single moms! Not just all single moms but the ones who don’t get not one penny of child support!! The ones that have to do Everything On Their Own!! They have to pay rent/mortgage! Car payment/car insurance! Water and Light Bill! Buy Groceries—washing detergent—-dish detergent—-hand soap——body wash—-toilet tissue—-paper towels—-bath towels and wash clothes—-school supplies—-clothes for kids—-sneakers and shoes——plates, bowls and utensils—-sheets and pillowcases—-beds and pillows——the list can go on but I hope you catch what I mean!! People on the outside put down single moms every chance they get….she should’ve down better…who told her to have kids….she need to work two jobs…etc… not once do they put any responsibility on the Grown Boy!! Men take care of their children—-They continually give Them (grown boys) a pass to continue the cycle and then wonder why there are so many 1 parent households!! Single Mom You Aren’t Alone!!! I share in your struggle—-I’ve walked in your shoes!! I’ve cried the same tears—-I’m praying for us this morning and every morning that I’m led to do so! Stay strong my sister—-our season of lack is soon over—-our kids won’t know this struggle; break the cycle——break the curse……Raise them up in the way they shall go!! You know the rest?

———-If you’re reading this and you are a Single Mom; I’m standing in the gap for you! I know you’re struggle…if you know a single mom then join me in praying for her! For her children! Her finances! Her mindset! We never know what the next person is going through! We have seen countless times what feeling alone, depression and reaching your limit and the effects of that can do!

———–We as women need to do more to help our fellow sisters! It can’t always be about “securing the bag” “making sure our hair is in tip top shape” “controlling our edges” “getting the latest micheal kors bag” etc.. known of that matters if their spirit isn’t intact, if their mindset is wayward, if their heart is broken and their soul has been taken captive!!

Will you pray for her?

——–if you’re not a woman, single mom or a mother—-will you pray for her? Will you encourage—-empower—-inspire—-and motivate—–these Grown Boys to do and be better?

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” James 2:14-17 (ESV)

Bible references can be found at: https://www.openbible.info/topics/widows_and_orphans

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: I Know My Value….

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalms 27:1 (NIV)

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As a woman; do you know your value? Do you allow others to mistreat you? Are you a single mom? Do you demand respect? Many of us may still be on the fence and not fully able to answer the questions but let me say this! I had no choice but to answer these questions and I had to take a hard look at how I’ve allowed certain situations to play out!

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People on the outside looking in will sometimes give you advice that requires you to bend! What happens when you are so used to bending and allowing people to mistreat you? Everyone that you bend for; won’t appreciate it! If you bend that one time; they are expecting you to bend again! What happens when you are always the only one that is bending?

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Don’t get in this habit; figure out what really matters and begin to voice that to those in your life and inner circle. Some may just walk away and that’s cool; why would you want to keep people in your life that don’t appreciate and respect you? This goes for professional relationships as well. That is what actually prompted me to write about this subject. So many of us single moms are so used to bending to and for a job; just to pay the bills. We allow supervisors, managers, co-workers and customers to mistreat and disrespect us! We allow them to underpay us because we think or are told we won’t be able to do any better elsewhere!

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Encouragement to help you along the way: 

  1. Stop believing the words and tactics of the enemy!
  2. Find some positive people in your life to push you to do better!
  3. Begin to believe that there is better for you and reach for it!
  4. Set some boundaries and don’t allow people to cross those lines!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Baby Daddy Syndrome; It’s Time to Heal…

How many of you single moms are still hurt over your baby daddy?

He left you for other woman?

He left you to raise the kids all alone?

He doesn’t respond when you call or text?

He doesn’t spend time with his kids?

He doesn’t provide any kind of support?

I can keep going but I think you get my point!

There are so many young ladies and women still hurt about baby daddy! Chasing him down; stalking him! Why? He has shown you his true intentions! He has shown you his real character! Even before he left or you kicked him out; he was acting and doing the same things. Why are you surprised or hurt? You thought he would change? People only change when they want too! Not when you put demands on them that don’t fit into their lifestyle! He is good playing around in these streets; why would you want to be apart of that! Why would you want your kids to be included in that kind of life? Nobody wants that kind of drama! Yes, I know it’s hard but he isn’t going to make it any better!

I am speaking from experience! I got tired of all the other women staking their claim, calling his phone all times of the day and night, I got tired of finding weave strands in my car (I wasn’t wearing wigs or weave back then); why put yourself through that?

Love, doesn’t hurt! Love, doesn’t abuse, Love doesn’t use, Love doesn’t mimic, Love doesn’t walk out the door into the arms of another woman!

We all know 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; memorize and meditate on it! This is what real love looks and feels like! Not some cheap version some of these guys are pushing around and distributing to unsuspecting candidates!

The best thing I could do was to release! I had to Let Go and Let God! This wasn’t going to be my Battle anymore! I wasn’t going to be hung up on a grown boy; who didn’t respect or love me! Who didn’t want to handle his responsibility as a father! I had to take my power back; get my life and raise my kids the best I could; with the help of my Heavenly Father!

Yes, some of you have your squad, your village, your circle; but hear me when I tell you; you need some God in your life! When you can’t reach anyone else; He is always there!

Unlock the chains of that Baby Daddy Syndrome! Break-Free….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Summer-Time Blues…Not Really…

It has been a minute since my last post. I have had lots to share just no time to share it; being a Single Mom; it seems as if your time is always sucked away before you get to use it, lol.

Can you believe school is almost out? Thank you Jesus! Are you excited that school is almost out? Or are you dreading your electricity bill going up or no food being in the refrigerator?

Look I don’t know about you but I go to the store frequently even when they are in school! They are growing boys and they have to eat! You have to utilize the power within the household; so you’re going to get a bill! There are just some stuff you just can’t get around!

Now, I didn’t always think this way! I used to be one of those parents that complained about the no food and high electric bill during the summer; but then I changed my thought process.

My mind is at ease during the summer because I know for sure they are safe and sound! With everything going on in the world and in schools today; any parent would be on edge.

For me; I don’t have to drag my middle-schooler out of bed every morning, in the summer! Yes Lord; lol, he can sleep in all he wants too! That process every single morning during the school year; gets a little old after the first week of school. (Did I mention that he is taller than me and I have a bad back from a car accident?) Yes, so I can definitely use a break in the summertime!

My mornings aren’t rushed in the summer! I can have extra time to get some stuff done. Rushing to get yourself together, helping your kids get ready, making breakfast, reading your bible, saying your morning prayers; etc. Doing this on a daily basis; while you know it needs to be done; you welcome a break when you can get one!



1. If you’re a single mom dreading the summer and your kids being out of school; what are some positive ways you can deal with the situation?

2. How can you change your thought process?



Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Inner Circle: Who Is In Yours?

Godly Relationships….Godly Community…..Godly Connections…..

Ask yourself:

Do you have them? Do you fit in with them? Do you inspire them?

What do your relationships look like?

Do you have community that you can count on? Who can you call when you are in trouble?

What kind of friend are you? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself; when it comes to relationships! So many are seeking relationships-friendships; but lack everything they are seeking in another!

Let’s take a look at some biblical journeys of Godly relationships-friendships to get a feel of what they look like……

Daniel Represents:

“Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon. Daniel made a request of the king, and he appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego over the affairs of the province of Babylon. But Daniel remained at the king’s court.” Daniel 2:48-49 (ESV)

Ask yourself:

Do you have Godly Relationships that when they are promoted; they don’t forgot about you and how you held them down? When Daniel went in to interpret the King’s Dream who did he ask to petition God? Do you have friends that will aid you in getting your prayers answered?

Ruth takes a stand:

“But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.” Ruth 1:16-18 (ESV)

The story of Ruth shows us a perfect example of a Godly Relationship-Community-Connections…..Not only did she desire to not return to her people; her previous life! She got the ultimate blessing in the end!

Ask yourself:

Do you allow people to see the real you or the mask?

Do you allow people to see you broken and hurt?

Do you allow people to speak into your life?

Do you allow others to help mold you into your best self?

Friendship-Relationships shouldn’t be created as a one-way street! So many people are focused on what they will get out of a relationship; they forget to figure out what they bring to the table!

When Jesus set out to complete his mission; he knew he would need others to assist him. Spreading the word of God isn’t an easy task because you will always have those that rebel. Jesus knew he needed a team to walk along side of him and those He could trust when He wasn’t around to still spread the good news!

But guess what? It wasn’t a one-way relationship! Yes, the disciples gave up much to walk with Jesus; but look at what they gained for being part of His Inner Circle!

Ask yourself:

Do you have what it takes to be part of Godly Relationships-Community?

Are you willing to remove the mask and show your real-true self?

Are you willing to put aside what no longer serves you?

Can you commit to helping others succeed in life; without personal gain?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Kingdom Gals: It’s Grooming Season; From Princess to Queen

The Book of Esther

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Many of us want to reach the level we desire but don’t want to go through the grooming process!

Your walk! Your speech! Your attitude! Your response! Your reflex! Your mindset! Your heart! Your soul! Your spirit! Your temple (body)! All needs to go through a grooming process! A detox! The old yucky stuff needs to be removed! The language you used to speak in your previous level doesn’t have access in your next level!

We are talking upgrade! The old stuff doesn’t have access anymore; it has expired. Are you ready for your grooming process? Are you strong enough for the detox? There are no cheat days!

How are you living?

Who are you following/allowing to speak into your life/who is influencing you?

Jesus had to go through the grooming process! The disciples had to go through the grooming process! Why should you be any different?

Take a look at the book of Esther and see the process that Esther had to go through and highlight Esther 2:12: “Each young woman’s turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months’ preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women”. (NKJV)

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Did Esther go through this process just for herself or were there others depending on her? You see the process from Princess to Queen isn’t just a journey for yourself; there are those that need your help and require your assistance. When God calls you out from that fiery pit; that dark gloomy place you have been residing at; he isn’t just doing it for you! He is giving you purpose; that passion that will burn from here to the ends of the world; that only you can fulfill.

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As a queen; not only do you have to make decisions but you also have to be able to discern and listen to instructions! When Esther was younger she lost both her parents and her uncle took her in and treated her as his own. He treated her like a princess the whole time; so it was easy for her to step into her role as queen! He checked on her the whole time she was going through her grooming process! So when the word came to her that he was in need; her people were in need; how do you think she responded? Read Esther 4-7 and see what took place.

What cause is God grooming you for?

What has God called you to do?

What purpose has He placed on your heart?

What gifts has He placed in your hands?

Are you created to be perfect? No, but the grooming process is necessary and a necessity! There are things that  you need to shed that will just hinder your progress and wear you down! What if Esther hadn’t been prepared and didn’t have the right mindset through the whole grooming process? What if she wasn’t able to answer the call? You will find and see that even the people that stood by you the whole time will one day doubt you! But as a queen; that went through the process; you will always rise to the occasion; just like Esther did!!

Check this out:

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/all-women-bible/Esther

References:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Esther+2&version=NKJV

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!