The Single Woman Chronicles: My Journey

My newest book The Single Woman Chronicles Volume 1: God , Men & You. Is finally complete and ready for pre-order!!!

I am so very excited because I got so much out of my system with writing this book! Men can be very stressful beings if you allow them to be; and I had when I dealt with them. 

I have been single for a little over eight years now and at first it got to me but then I realized that I had work to do; for me to become who I was created to be and a man would just be a distraction! Especially the wrong one!!!

I had my share of the wrong ones and going through this journey as a single woman I had to finally come to the realization that I was never in a real relationship! I had flings even with my kids father; I have never been in a committed relationship. That was hard for me to come to terms with; but when I did I was able to grow and mature into a grown woman….

Grown boys don’t commit! They occupy space and they waste your time! They use you, they take from you, they mistreat you, they abuse you, they degrade you and they break you. Allowing this to happen and jumping into another relationship is just looking for rejection and heartache because the new person isn’t equipped to fix you; only God can do that, if you allow him too…

The Single Woman Chronicles is my journey into the types of personalities that I encountered when dealing with grown boys: The Baby Daddy, The Preacher Man, The Momma’s Boy, The Liar, The Sugar Daddy etc. These are the grown boys you want to distance yourself from; you don’t want to marry them or even date them. Be mindful of all the signs and red flags that will show themselves; if you pay attention.

This book is for the Single Woman that have the desire to be married! While I highlight these types of guys I also give the single woman insight into working on herself so she will be ready for marriage. Some many of us are quick to jump into relationships without working on our issues from childhood and past relationships; why keep dragging it along with you? Don’t you want to be free? 

Rest and Reflection


I am back after a much needed break! It started out just me needing a break and maybe even some rest; but then I got word that a friend had passed and then it turned into something else. How do you deal with the loss of a loved one or someone you call a friend? I have never been good at dealing with death; I’m either a crying maniac or quiet and secluded.

I really let all my social media go I wasn’t posting like I’m used to doing and it showed because I lost a lot of followers which actually made me laugh. Why do you ask? Because if it’s that easy for someone to stop following you then they weren’t going to be a loyal follower anyway! My content didn’t change? My messages are always positive and uplifting? I needed some personal time and I took it; people that value you and appreciate you would understand that!

My friend that passed understood me, she appreciated me and most importantly she accepted me for who I was! Doing our time as friend’s, life happened many times and we lost track of each other but God always brought us back together; he always allowed us to reconnect and it was always as if we never parted. That’s friendship and that’s loyalty…

That time away allowed me to think about so much and going forward I won’t worry about numbers on social media; but I will tell you this if the numbers continue to decline I will laugh each and every time! Many times the people that you need to reach aren’t on social media; they are more up close and personal. They are your family, friends and the real life individuals that you interact with on a daily basis; at the grocery store, the bank, the drive thru and even at work. Social media can be fun and entertaining but don’t allow it to take place of more important things like your purpose!

In business, we sometimes if not all the time utilize different methods to reach our audience and social media is that for many companies; but you have to know when something isn’t working and move on. So going forward it will be full steam ahead but in a different direction and I am looking forward to what lies ahead.

What is it in your life that you need to evaluate? Have you lost something or someone and need to take some time to reflect? Are you on the absolute best track in your life? When was the last time you took a break?

Command Your Day…..

Did you know you have power?
We have a choice each morning we are blessed to open our eyes! We can control our attitudes and our responses to what comes our way.

I used to have a problem with road rage! I would get so upset when someone cut me off! But when I stopped and thought about it; who was I hurting? Nobody but myself! I was raising my own blood pressure and possibly causing harm to my heart; due to the stress. Wasn’t worth it; I want to live a long and healthy life. 

Now when I’m on the road; I give those people who want to get a rise out of me their space! I stay far away from them and my drive is so stress-free. I control how I’m going to react and I love it and so does my blood pressure and my heart! Lol.

This can apply in so many different situations; I’m sure you can think of a few. 

Try it out and see how it works for you!

Until next time…

Are you a part of the Sisterhood?

Why you?
This question can be posed many ways; lots of options come to mind.

1. Why are you single?

2. Why are you a single mom?

3. Why should you be his wife?

4. Why should you get this new job?

5. Why should you be promoted?

6. Why did you get fired?

7. Why did you become self-employed?

8. Why did he break your heart?

9. Why did he cheat on you?

10. Why did you move to a new city or town?

There are so many different scenarios that can play out; but will they all generate the same answers or response?

As a woman I’m sure we can relate to a few of the different questions posed and may very well have a detailed story for each of them. 

While we all may lead very different lives we all still have one thing in common; we are all women and we can all experience the same kinds of trials and tribulations. 

Being that we are all women shouldn’t we have each other’s back? Have a mutual respect for each other? Even though we may not personally know each other? 

I don’t know where it started or how it even got started or who sent out the memo that we were even suppose to be at odds; but we all can go so much higher and reach all time highs, if we just did our best to respect and admire one another! 

When you are walking down the street or hallway at work; would it be so awful to speak to the other woman walking towards you? Never mind she may look mean or like she doesn’t want to be bothered! You have no idea what she is facing, what she is going through or what she has been through! Your words can very well be what she needs to hear a simple “good morning” can brighten anyone’s day, especially if they are dealing with all kinds of craziness at home or on the job! 

You speaking to them with just a hint of positivity can trigger that goodness in their mind that may have been covered up and just needed to be released! 

As a woman I have experienced so much dislike from my fellow sisters and I know many of you can relate! Much of the dislike has no warrant at all on our part; so of us simple walk in the room and the looks of death start raining down! Why? I can’t fully answer that question but I will say that I never allow it to stop me from being who I am; kind, considerate, compassionate, emphatic, loving, caring and supporter to many; even those that dislike me! 

Ladies never allow anyone not even the next woman to steal your shine! We all can rise to the top! We don’t have to dislike the next woman for her climb up the ladder; support her, cheer her on, be her biggest supporter; so when it’s your turn you can expect the same. 

What else can we as women do to be better in our sisterhood?

What are you searching for?

In the Pursuit of Happyness!!!.png

This post is inspired by the 2006 movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” starring Will Smith and his son Jayden. If you saw the movie then you would know why I spelled Happyness that way, Lol. I watched this movie for the 1st time just this week and I have to be honest I was in tears by the end of the movie. I could relate to the movie so much being a Single Mom and feeling like I’m the only one in the race trying to get to the finish line; and finding what will help me get to the place of happiness and stability.

All throughout the movie Will Smith’s character faced so many setbacks but he kept on pushing and moving forward he was determined to get the job; wait better yet the career that would change his life like never before.

When he was faced with eviction not once but twice; the first time he found another route that was much cheaper and smaller but it would do because he know better was ahead! But once again he came home to find all there stuff sitting outside the door; anyone else would have fallen to their knees and giving up but not him, he found another option, a shelter (some may not have went this route; but myself have been faced with that option) whatever you have faced or have to face you will make it through.

Everyday at an internship that didn’t pay him not one dime! He was constantly tried and tested by management to get him to break but he always kept his composure. How many times have you been tried and tested on your job? I know I have been there many times and they were paying me; but never enough to go through what they were dishing out!

At the end of the movie he finally got what he always wanted a career that changed his life and his son’s life for the better; and all he had to do was to keep his head up, no matter what he was faced with! How many times have you wanted to give up when the chips were stacked against you?

Lessons that I learned from watching this movie:

  1. You can defy all the odds placed in front of you.
  2. Once you grab hold of your dreams; never loss sight of them and always remind yourself why you are chasing them.
  3. When you have kids you will do everything in your power to give them the best that life can offer!
  4. Block out all naysayers they have absolutely no idea what your dreams are and how good it’s about to get!
  5. Always be your top supporter and don’t allow anyone to break you or your path to the finish line!

Did you see this movie? If so, what are your takeaways?

Single Mom Salute on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day!Single MomKeep Moving Forward

With Mother’s Day fast approaching I thought I would take out sometime to salute my fellow Single Mom’s and share some of my stories as I go through this journey. If you are a Single Mom then you know that the struggle is real and can very well be a challenge at times; but we press on and know that it won’t last forever! While this day is supposed to be a happy day of celebration I want to highlight somethings that we as Single Moms have to endure on a daily basis; so when you encounter a Single Mom just know that even though she may have a smile on her face, she is maybe hurting on the inside.

We are just 1 person but may have to juggle other roles at times!

Do anyone of you remember when they came out with Fathers Day Cards for Single Moms and people went ballistic! Lol the nerve right; are they in the household helping with the child(ren)? No, they aren’t but everyone has their opinion and 2 cents to throw in when it doesn’t concern them. They aren’t the one that has to miss work (and miss out on pay) when your kid is sick, or has a teacher conference at school. They also aren’t the one that has to do their best to keep a roof over their head, put clothes on their back, shoes on their feet, food in their mouth; all while only bringing in the income of 1 person! People are so quick to judge and kick you while you are down but don’t fully know or care what you have to endure on a daily basis!

Where is this village that I keep hearing about?

Many of us Single Moms don’t have this village that society says it takes to raise a kid! There are no men in the family to step up as father figures; there are no mentors at school that are willing to step in and spend time with your boys to help steer them in the right direction, heck there aren’t even any in the church! I asked a young pastor a few years back if he would like to mentor my boys and he kindly told me to call someone else!

I’m not a fighter but for my children; I will.

Not too long ago my teenage son went to take out the trash and came back home to tell me; that he had an altercation with the maintenance guy that cursed at him for no reason and got in his face! Me being his mother I had to go and approach the situation to see what transpired. As I walked down to where the incident happened my heart was racing and I began to talk to God; Lord you know I’m just a woman a single mom I’m not that big but I have to protect my son, his father isn’t around but I ask you please go before me and prepare this encounter because I don’t know what or who I’m about to face!

As I got closer I saw the maintenance guy and asked was he the only one out there and had he cursed at my son; his facial expression quickly changed from smug to scared and he said yes but he was wrong and it would never happen again. He was upset due to the dumpster being filled and people were placing the trash on the ground and he had to pick it up, I don’t him that wasn’t my sons fault and we weren’t the only ones that lived there and why he decided to pick on a child! These are the types of situations we as Single Moms have to endure. The struggle is way to real.

We really don’t want to be Single; But….

Having the desire to date but the pot being half full or empty. See when you have kids many guys don’t look at you as worthy! They look as you as a liability and quite frankly a waste of their time! Now don’t get me wrong lots of Single Moms get dates but many times that as far as it goes; a date and a nightcap, who wants that for the rest of their lives! We are still women and deserve the best and yes a husband not just some pit stop!

So the next time you encounter a Single Mom give her some words of encouragement, inspiration, hey even some motivation; we like all of those things and can use them to pick ourselves up when this thing called life gets us down. See being a Mom is really awesome and I’m sure none of us will trade it for anything in the world; but as a Single Mom it can be far more challenging and many times a very lonely journey. To all my Single Moms Keep Your Head Up…..

Single Mom Are You Ready to Date?

Mommy, are you ready to date-

Single Mom: Are You Ready?

As a woman you will always have the desire to date; but as a single mom it can sometimes be a challenge. How will your kids react? Will the guys that you seek or seek you be okay with you having kids? Most importantly you want to ask yourself the question; Single Mom are you ready to date? The answer will be different for each woman that chooses to answer the question due to their personal beliefs and choices. For me making the decision back in 2009 to give my life back to God; I had to figure out what that meant and what changes I had to make, I couldn’t do that and be in the dating world.

Single Woman:

When you are single without children you don’t have little eyes and ears to worry about; but there are many single women that also take an hiatus from the world of dating because the pot isn’t always full with potential candidates to be honest. Many women like a variety to choose from, and even though I have been on the sidelines for sometime; I still have eyes and ears  and the streets be talking! If you are a young woman with morals and standards most of the time that isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Who Are You?

When you don’t know who you are and what you want that will get you exactly that; a guy that doesn’t know what he wants and has no idea who he is! He isn’t going to tell you the truth because he doesn’t know the truth; he is simply having fun and that means sleeping with whomever will give him the time of day! But when you take the time to sit down and think about what you want and figure out who you are; then these types of guys can no longer get any ear time and no play time because they are no longer an option.

So if you are a Single Mom these are the questions you need to ask yourself:

  1. Am I ready to date?
  2. Are my kids ready for me to date?
  3. Do I know who I am?
  4. Do I know what I want?
  5. Am I willing to lower my standards to be in a Relationship?
  6. Do I have any standards?

After answering these questions I hope that you have found the answer to the question posed “Single Mom Are You Ready to Date?”; many of us just jump out there without a plan of action. From what I hear the dating world isn’t what it used to be; you have to come ready and that means knowing who you are and what you want!

Single Mom You Aren’t Alone

Hi there Single Mom, let me be the first to tell you that you aren’t alone; there are many single moms that have been and still in your shoes. When you are going through life and trying to do all that you can; it really does feel like you have no help in sight.

Where is the support system? Where is that village to help raise the kids? Chapter 5 (Is It Really That Difficult) in my book Single Mom You Aren’t Alone; I wrote about how society would answer the 2 questions above. It’s funny how people who have no say-so in your life have all the answers and want to give you their 2 cents! I can appreciate others who have experienced the same/similar journey and give me some insight that will help me in this life as a single mom but when people want to tear you down; where is the fun in that? Help me to get better; not insult me and think that’s going to help.

In Chapter 6 (Be Your Best Self) I speak about my journey, like when I had to remind myself to take care of me; so I can properly take care of my kids. If I get sick, who would care for them? We get so caught up in caring for and taking care of our kids we sometimes neglect ourselves and that can’t be the case; single mom take care of yourself, keep you healthy and then you can be there to properly care for your kids. Don’t let negativity have control or even a place in your life! I combat that with lots of positive self talk,affirmations and reading the bible; you put in positive and the outcome will be positive!

Single mom if no one else will say it! I will; you are awesome! You are appreciated! You are the best mom you can be and you will only get better! Believe it! Receive it ! And walk in it.

Stay blessed,

Your friend and Single Mom of Purpose