Single Mom

12 Years Single and Counting: From The Desk of a Single Mom

For some; 12 years may seem like a long time. Many think of it only being 12 years of not being in a committed relationship; this is 12 years and counting of no relationship, no dating and no sexual relations!

Very big difference…Anyone can be single but single and no sex; is a whole different ball game! A ball game that many would rather not attend or even be part of.

Some people will tell you that they can’t live without sex! I tell them I’ve had enough sex; to last me a lifetime! Lust isn’t something I’m looking forward to for the rest of my life; I want real unconditional and mutually given love. I’ve had the one sided relationships were you’re the only one interested in commitment and all they want is sex; no thanks I’ll pass.

None of us are perfect! We as women fall for some make believe jokers; who are counterfeit and deceptive. We fell for it; but, don’t allow that to stop you from being an effective woman and an awesome single mom! I’m speaking from experience; I was led to believe that nobody wanted me with kids! Let me tell you somebody wants me! God wants me! God created me to be a purpose-driven woman and can’t no grown boy come in and change that; not anymore!

12 Years Single and Counting:

I didn’t always believe this; I had to get to this place! I had to do my work! I had to release and get delivered from so much that sought to take me out! I had time to get to know me and finally began to love myself….

I became a better Mom! My relationship with my kids was always good; but, it amplified once I surrendered and submitted to God and gave Him my all..

I became a better Woman!

A Purpose-Driven Woman!

A Determined Woman!

A Godly Woman!

A Spiritual Woman!

A Renewed Woman!

I’ve always had the desire to be married but I wanted to be married; to the right man! I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce. I knew the grown boys that I was playing house with were definitely not fit to fill the role of husband! And, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for the imposters that the enemy had set before me..

3 takeaways I want to leave with you:

1. Don’t allow a defeated mindset to lead you!

2. Don’t allow your right now situation to overtake you.

3. Don’t allow the past situations to immobilize you.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Not Everything that God Gives; Is for You…..

Blessings-Favor- Creative Ideas-Wealth-Abundance-Love-Kindness—-

Do I need to continue; do you understand the point I’m trying to make?

People often times will take the good things and run with them. Pass by a homeless person or someone else in need; knowing full well that they can help that person! They aren’t asking for much; just a couple dollars!

But, you angrily pass them by shooting off foul language directly at them or in your head; cursing them for even coming your way. Did you ever stop to think; who gave you or allowed you the pleasure; of having all that access and excess wealth! Science didn’t give it to you…and for some neither did hard work! I’m just saying; it’s a real concept that happens in today’s time….

The reason why I want to explain all of that is because some of us don’t get or realize the opportunity that were given to be better and more fulfilled; when you come together with others! God may have dropped some awesomeness in your soul-spirit and you thought it was all for you or for you to fulfill the call on your own..

For those of you that don’t know this; I am a single mom and have been one for over 28 years! I didn’t always except that as my truth; but it’s kinda growing on me. Several years ago I began to have the desire to somehow help other single moms. Inspire, motivate, encourage and empower them. I told someone dear to me at the time and God began to give me all these amazing downloads and that person encouraged me to go forth.

Nothing really came out of it; life as a single mom and trying to keep up with all that comes with it took over, but the downloads never ceased!

Fast forward several years; I moved to Central Florida met another single mom and while talking one day she begins to tell me all the ideas; that she has for a non-profit for Single Moms!!

Look y’all every gem that God dropped in my spirit; came out her mouth! When I tell you the tears began to fall!! Here I am; years before this encounter, wondering and asking God, how do I get all this out of me and put it into action….It wasn’t for me to do alone!!! Those downloads and her words; was the connection that God ordained for His Vision to Come Together!! Y’all the rest is History……I hope someone catches this and grabs hold of it……

If you’re in the Central Florida area and you’re a Single Parent or know a Single Parent…come join us every 1st Saturday of the month….

http://FreeMonthlyFamilyWorkshops.eventbrite.com.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Will You Break the Cycle?

I shared something on my social media pages the other day and I am going to share it here as well. Now, since I am a #singlemomofpurpose I only addressed it to single moms but it can apply to all mothers!

“Single moms, do you talk to your kids about domestic violence? Have you experienced domestic violence? Many people say that kids shouldn’t know about adult issues! #1: it shouldn’t even be an adult ISSUE at all and #2: they shouldn’t grow up believing this type of stuff is okay! If they hear and see; then why not sit down and have the conversation. I did…I chose to break the cycle. Difficult conversation to have especially when it’s their father (and even when it’s not); but it needed to be said….Our kids mimic what they see and hear (even into adulthood)“… Now, what are your thoughts?

I didn’t get too many likes or comments; which is understandable. I get it! I didn’t want to talk about being treated in this way with nobody; not even my kids; when I was going through it! I was trying to wrap my head around why I was being treated this way. I thought I was doing everything right; but guess what? The book of John in chapter 10 verse 10 instructs us that the “enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy.” I didn’t know that back then; I thought I was doing something wrong! Nobody deserves to be treated like a piece of garbage; I don’t care who they are. What really blew my mind; both relationships that I was in; I spoke to their moms about how I was being treated and how they were beating me and you know what both of these “grown boys” mother asked me? What did YOU do to Him? What did YOU say to Him?

I couldn’t and won’t be like those mothers! Both of these mothers experienced #domesticviolence as well; so, how can you promote it? Many of us don’t get the help or counseling we need after going through traumatic experiences like this. So many of us just want to sweep it under the rug; like it never happened and forget about it! We are afraid of people judging us; because they do! People on the outside looking in; always have an opinion! People that haven’t been in this type of situation don’t understand the emotional, mental, physical or spiritual aspects that you have to try and make sense of; let alone why you stayed!

Sometimes all we need to do is listen! Don’t judge! Don’t give our two cents and don’t take sides!! Especially if you don’t know what to say or how to say it! I had someone come to me years later and apologize for their blatant disrespect. At the time, she didn’t know what to say because she had never been in that situation; but it took her that long to process; that she was wrong.

But, do use see why we need to break the curse? Break the cycle! People actually think this is okay! They always want to blame the victim and they don’t fully understand the after effects! I was messed up for years; I can’t even begin to tell you what I had to go through; but I knew that I didn’t want my kids repeating the cycle!

When you decide to become a parent; you are bringing new life into the world! You have to mold, shape and guide them; it’s not always going to easy and fun. It’s going to be difficult and trying at times; but who would you rather raise them up?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am a Single Mom, Author, Writer, and Motivator!!!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: God Wants You to Have More….

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. John 10:10 (NKJV)

For some; this is music to your ears! Jesus came so that we can have a better life; but, it doesn’t exempt us from the hand of the enemy!

Life can be sweet for some and hard for others. You can live by the rules and still go through some rough patches. When you make a decision in life to begin to live according to the word of God; (bible) no one really tells you that you will still go through hard times. But, if you read your Bible you will find out for yourself; that even Jesus went through some rough times! He was betrayed by many who said they believed in him and even walked with him! The devil came for him just as he comes for us with his twisted schemes! But we have to stay strong and not allow the bad times to overtake us!

We can’t feel sorry for ourselves and let the disappointments and hardships sink in and swallow us whole! Even though we go through the fire; God will see us through! Even though those jobs you keep applying for turn you down; God will see you through! Even though that promotion that comes with more money and flexibility; didn’t come through; God is still for you! Even though the very people you went out of your way for; turned their backs on you; God is still with you!

When bad things begin to happen; people always blame God! Why did God allow this to happen? Why didn’t God do something? Many of us fail to realize that the enemy wants you to think and speak this way! He wants you to turn away from God; don’t give him that satisfaction! Realize who it is; that is against you, and remember who it is; that is for you! You see that scripture above? John 10:10 tells you exactly who you’re dealing with! It tells you what his role is; remember that.

We have to be on guard and keep ourselves covered! What does that mean? Pray, discern, keep the faith, don’t get distracted, don’t be tempted, and remember the promise! What’s the promise? Abundance…may it overflow into your life……

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator and Single Mom!!!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Where is the Unity? Sisterhood Chronicles

Many times in life; you will have to be the one that has to speak the unpopular! Social media paints a picture that all is well; and it doesn’t always show the true picture.

And then, we also have to remember that our situation isn’t the same for others in the world. While we may have some good relationships with other women; it doesn’t mean the person standing next to you; can relate! The world and the people in it; aren’t perfect.

I wanted to share something that I sent to my email list subscribers yesterday:

How are you doing?

Can we chat for just a moment? When did we as women get to the place of not loving our fellow sisters? As I was scrolling through social media the other day. I came across a story of two teen girls whose life was shattered; in a matter of minutes! One was dead and the other was in jail. Why? Because they were fighting over a boy!

So, I ask again; when did we get here? When was it okay for us as young ladies and grown women to act and respond this way? It just doesn’t start there; when did we get so comfortable putting another women down or talk about her; instead of lifting her up? Offering our assistance; when she needs it!

So many of us are afraid that by helping others; we will somehow be in lack! That is not of God! God doesn’t promote hate, jealously or strife! But, I know who does! When did we begin to hate or stop talking to each other; simply because another women has a problem with someone? What happened to being a mediator and getting down to the root cause of the problem? Because, it is something more going on; that women don’t want to talk about!

I’m very passionate about sisterhood and women forming lasting friendships… Why? I have throughout my lifetime been on the receiving end of what I speak about! As a young girl; I’ve had classmates attempt to jump me, I’ve had them spread false rumors about me, I’ve been called all kinds of names by them; and even in my adult life much of the same has occurred.

In 2015, when God told me it was time for me to find my voice; I really didn’t want to start speaking up; but I am starting to see now that it’s necessary and needed. Too many of us stay silent and only speak about those things that serve us….

If you’re reading this; I thank you for taking out the time. We can change the outcome; one person at a time!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Fatherless Generation

“You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.” Exodus 22:21-24 (ESV)

———Woke up this morning with the urge to pray for single moms! Not just all single moms but the ones who don’t get not one penny of child support!! The ones that have to do Everything On Their Own!! They have to pay rent/mortgage! Car payment/car insurance! Water and Light Bill! Buy Groceries—washing detergent—-dish detergent—-hand soap——body wash—-toilet tissue—-paper towels—-bath towels and wash clothes—-school supplies—-clothes for kids—-sneakers and shoes——plates, bowls and utensils—-sheets and pillowcases—-beds and pillows——the list can go on but I hope you catch what I mean!! People on the outside put down single moms every chance they get….she should’ve down better…who told her to have kids….she need to work two jobs…etc… not once do they put any responsibility on the Grown Boy!! Men take care of their children—-They continually give Them (grown boys) a pass to continue the cycle and then wonder why there are so many 1 parent households!! Single Mom You Aren’t Alone!!! I share in your struggle—-I’ve walked in your shoes!! I’ve cried the same tears—-I’m praying for us this morning and every morning that I’m led to do so! Stay strong my sister—-our season of lack is soon over—-our kids won’t know this struggle; break the cycle——break the curse……Raise them up in the way they shall go!! You know the rest?

———-If you’re reading this and you are a Single Mom; I’m standing in the gap for you! I know you’re struggle…if you know a single mom then join me in praying for her! For her children! Her finances! Her mindset! We never know what the next person is going through! We have seen countless times what feeling alone, depression and reaching your limit and the effects of that can do!

———–We as women need to do more to help our fellow sisters! It can’t always be about “securing the bag” “making sure our hair is in tip top shape” “controlling our edges” “getting the latest micheal kors bag” etc.. known of that matters if their spirit isn’t intact, if their mindset is wayward, if their heart is broken and their soul has been taken captive!!

Will you pray for her?

——–if you’re not a woman, single mom or a mother—-will you pray for her? Will you encourage—-empower—-inspire—-and motivate—–these Grown Boys to do and be better?

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” James 2:14-17 (ESV)

Bible references can be found at: https://www.openbible.info/topics/widows_and_orphans

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: I Know My Value….

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalms 27:1 (NIV)

As a woman; do you know your value? Do you allow others to mistreat you? Are you a single mom? Do you demand respect? Many of us may still be on the fence and not fully able to answer the questions but let me say this! I had no choice but to answer these questions and I had to take a hard look at how I’ve allowed certain situations to play out!

People on the outside looking in will sometimes give you advice that requires you to bend! What happens when you are so used to bending and allowing people to mistreat you? Everyone that you bend for; won’t appreciate it! If you bend that one time; they are expecting you to bend again! What happens when you are always the only one that is bending?

Don’t get in this habit; figure out what really matters and begin to voice that to those in your life and inner circle. Some may just walk away and that’s cool; why would you want to keep people in your life that don’t appreciate and respect you? This goes for professional relationships as well. That is what actually prompted me to write about this subject. So many of us single moms are so used to bending to and for a job; just to pay the bills. We allow supervisors, managers, co-workers and customers to mistreat and disrespect us! We allow them to underpay us because we think or are told we won’t be able to do any better elsewhere!

Encouragement to help you along the way:

Stop believing the words and tactics of the enemy!
Find some positive people in your life to push you to do better!
Begin to believe that there is better for you and reach for it!
Set some boundaries and don’t allow people to cross those lines!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Salute to Single Moms

“There is no greater warrior than a mother protecting her child.” N.K. Jemisin

While being a parent; many of us women don’t have the luxury of having a partner to go through the motions with! Many of us are doing it alone and many of us are rocking it!

And we don’t get our kudos or the pat on the back; because there are those that will say; it’s our responsibility to raise our kids! But, is it for us to do it alone?

We live in a society where men are allowed to get a pass for just about anything! They cheat on their wives; pass….They abandon their children and their responsibility! Pass….makes no sense to me; but oh well….

But in the same breathe those same people are quick to say that women can’t teach a young boy/man; how to be a man! Well I beg to differ! Why? It’s simple; we have no choice!

People are quick to have an opinion but never a solution! Will you mentor a young boy/man? Will you give of your time to reach/teach a young boy/man the right path to take in life? Will you take them to a baseball or basketball game?Many won’t and that’s why there is a shortage of mentors for young boys…ask me how I know?

And while there is a shortage; single moms are the ones that have to step into a role that was never designed for us..but we do it and many times; do it well….

1. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to pull his pants up!

2. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to respect himself and others!

3. It doesn’t take a man to tell a young boy/man to open the doors for young girls/ladies!

4. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to cook, clean and wash his own clothes!

5. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to learn how to drive!

6. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to protect himself and those that he loves!

7. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man to go buy groceries!

And, as I learned from a dear friend; who also happens to be a single mom:

8. It doesn’t take a man to show a young boy/man how to change a tire!

This is just a small list of things that single moms have to step up and teach their boys!

We as a society need to do a better job at thinking before we speak. So many people are quick to judge without putting themselves in other’s shoes. We are quick to look at another’s trials and tribulations and point fingers and assume! But, what if it was you?

There is so much that the people on the outside don’t know because they don’t allow themselves to care. They don’t know that you have to take a stand for yourself and your kids. They don’t know that when terror comes to your door you have to be the one to chase it away; men were designed to be the protector!

So, if you’re a single mom and you’re reading this; You Aren’t Alone! If you’re not a single mom but know someone that is; then let her know that she is doing a great job! Offer her some help from time to time.

Excerpt from my book……Single Mom You Aren’t Alone: Becoming a Single Woman of Purpose

“You are a giver by nature; because you have to give your all; it’s in your DNA…

You are worthy of your children’s love; they love you no matter what.

No Matter What, Never Give In to Negative Talk. Being positive in any situation is Key.

Step Out on Faith and watch the possibilities pour into your life.

All the things you think you can’t do as a single mom; are already done!

In Jesus Name, Amen.” Tamara McCarthy

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Hello Somebody; Where Is Your Yes?

For so many years society and the people within; have told us and taught us that it’s time to say NO.

And for most circumstances that still applies; but, what happens when God needs you to say YES?

Now, being a single mom I’ve had my share of taking great joy in exercising my right to say NO; loud and boldly. Especially when situations don’t look like it’s going to be good for me and my kids.

When some no-good dude wants to roll up and think he going to get over on me; nope! He can be smooth as silk with his no good intentions but when you’ve been played before; you cut them short; NO and go on about your business….

Or, when a potential employer calls you after reviewing your resume and tries to offer you less than you’re worth; NO. Why do they do that? They clearly see your experience and education but still offer you less than; “excuse me I don’t want to appear rude but, NO thank you!”

And they get upset like you got a problem….Well you kinda do because you know you’re worth! Why do them the favor of taking their low paying job and “you” have to find other ways to make ends meet?

What about when you’re trying to flex your entrepreneurial muscles and start getting the word out; you get all kinds of people interested in your services. But, guess what? They don’t want to pay for nothing! Who does that? Volunteer and Entrepreneur are no where the same! Their meanings are entirely different! So you know what; NO.

Just like we have the ability to say NO; so does God. I’m sure some of you know that; right? You want something or someone so bad and you pray about it and God says NO.. Hurt your feelings right? Lol I know I’ve been there; many times and each time it hurt. Like when can I get a Yes Heavenly Father? I know you want the best for me but when can I see it up close and personal?

I thought I had an absolute yes just a little while ago; things start looking up. I got a job with this company started as a temp it wasn’t perfect but I was able to deal with it. I began to make plans along with my kids to start looking for a house; we had grown tired of apartment living (it was definitely time for an upgrade).

There were talks of the company I was working for to bring me on permanent but they were dragging their feet; so I really didn’t have that as a factor while looking for a place to call home.

Some people do that; they choose a place to live depending on where their working. Many jobs aren’t that loyal anymore and I wasn’t going to make a long term decision not fully knowing if they would even bring me on permanent and keep me!

So long story short they eventually brought me on and we ended up finding a house really far from where I worked. Lol like my commute depending on traffic was 1.5-2 hours; each way! At first it didn’t bother me I enjoyed the time to get to pray and talk to God and just clear my head. But after a month or so I knew I had to figure something out and I prayed….

July 2018 God answered!

What if God answered your prayer(s) but you didn’t have the whole picture of how it was to go down? You weren’t given a play by play? All you got was your part that you had to play; would you say YES?

I said Yes! I gave my 2 weeks notice without another job anywhere in sight! I flexed my FAITH muscles; was it easy? No! But, I had to trust and believe that God would show up and show out!

And guess what God made a way! Often times God wants to know if YOU will trust and believe in HIM. When things are going good we sometimes forget WHO makes a way for us to have everything that we have.

Soon as the times get rough we get all afraid and pointing fingers. I had to pray my way through so I didn’t fall into that trap; the enemy is always close by to see how he can get you hemmed up.

November 2018: God Showed Out…

And while I was praying for a temporary job that I had interviewed for would come through; God sent a full-time permanent job my way that I believed was one of the worst and strangest interviews I have ever had!

When you give God control and give HIM your YES…..#speechless

Will you tell Him yes?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

The Surprising Truth About Being Single.

So, you’re probably wondering what this surprising truth is? Well, I think we all as individuals have that surprising truth that will make others shake their heads in disbelief. I think it really depends on where you are mentality and if you’ve been keeping yourself busy. Some people may be lonely, they may be out there going on dates each and every weekend, they may be sleeping around, they may be juggling more than one person along; I can go on and on but let me tell you about my surprising truths.

And, it also depends on if you have dealt with any past issues; in your life. As well, as past relationships! For me, one of the surprising truths is: that I am not lonely! Why do people assume that you’re lonely if you’re single? Lol, I’m an introvert; so being single bothers me not one bit! I love my peace and quiet! And coming out of domestic violence relationships; I very well needed and enjoy a stress-free lifestyle. Who likes getting punched around and called all kinds of un-pretty names? Not me!

Coming out of bad relationships; you want to take some time for yourself to work through everything that you experienced; so, it doesn’t repeat itself in the next relationship. Why jump right into the next relationship and you haven’t healed from the previous one first? Everyone goes through different experiences so yours may not match mine but taking whatever issue it was into a new relationship; just spells disaster; especially if that person has it together and even if they don’t; the outcome may not be pretty.

When you do your work; you’re able to pick up on signs and signals early on and will have a clear mind; to make the right decision on how to proceed.

Back to the surprising truth; people that don’t know your full story of why you’re single in the first place; will assume and jump to conclusions! Not too long ago an acquaintance of mine sent me a video and the video insisted that I would be single for the rest of my life; if I continued to wait on God. Now, this older lady knows that I am a Christian; knows that I am an author; but hasn’t read any of my books. But, decided to send me this video that went against everything that I believed! Now I haven’t responded to her because some people simply don’t warrant a response. She claims to be a Christian as well, but her behavior and speech doesn’t always match up.

The video went on to say a number of things that I won’t even repeat; but this woman would’ve known this video wouldn’t seat well with me. When you take the time to get to know people on a personal level you know how to approach them! I believe that whomever my husband will be; will Find ME!! That’s what the Bible says: Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (NIV)

I am not part of that foolish that is going on with women asking men to marry them!! You will not hear that mess come out my mouth! I don’t care who he is!! I don’t care how times have changed! I am still old fashioned!! Men ask Women to marry Them!!

Adam chose EVE!! Yes, God created HER, but Adam had to Like What He Saw!! Genesis 20:21-22 “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (NIV)

Can you imagine going through guy after guy to find the one that will eventually like and want to fall in love with you? Look, I been on that downward spiral before; its time consuming; I have more meaningful things to do with me time! Like raise my kids! Who’s going to raise them; if I’m in the streets chasing after Grown Boys?

Not all of us are Godly Women; I get that, and everyone has their opinion and we all have a choice! But, we have to do better at approaching and assuming! Have a conversation with people; get to know who they are, what they believe, share your testimony, lend your hear; share some encouraging words!

Some other reasons I am single; I don’t want all these strange men around my kids. Your kids see and mimic what you do! I wrote about it in one of my books; of wanting to break the cycle! I don’t want my kids to live the life that I was living when I had them! I want them to see a different; more cleaner version of me! We, as a family are at our happiest and I don’t want to mess that up! When we as women get into a relationship and it turns violent; our kids see that! How do you think that is going to impact their lives? Why continue if you know it can affect them? If I have to be single until they are all grown; then so be it! They got pedophiles out here who will play on your emotions just to get to your kids! My kid’s safety outweighs my happiness! As women we can sometimes be blinded to the things that are happening right in front of us because we think we are happy and have this awesome person in our lives.

Many of us lose our way when we get into the wrong relationships! We only have one life; why waste it on people who are only out to use and abuse you? When we wait on the right person to come into our lives; we are able to work on ourselves and whatever gifts we have been blessed with! I never would’ve imagined being an author of 16 books and counting, writing a blog that reaches people internationally, being able to speak life into other women that have been in similar situations as me, being able to change my life from bad to good, being able to be single and happy for over 11 years; I can really keep going but I think you get my point!

I am not going to allow anyone to push me back into an old lifestyle! I am not going to allow anyone to hinder my growth! I am not going to allow anyone to diminish my shine! I am not going to allow anyone to box me in! When I said Yes to God, I didn’t fully know everything I was getting into! I didn’t know the attacks would be many; people who don’t know you and your story will came at you from every direction. Be ready and be on guard! When you decide that you want Better for your life; people will take that as a personal insult; they will look at you like you believe you are better than them! I don’t believe I am better than anyone; I just want to be My Best Version of Myself!

So, you see; the Surprising Truth About Being Single depends on You. Where are you at in your journey? You may be tired, you may be ready to just marry the next person that speaks to you; we all have a story to tell. What’s yours?

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.
I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

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