Kingdom Gals: Teach Me How to Pray….

There is a difference in how you pray as a young girl versus a Grown Woman!

Praying for a middle school crush versus your godly husband is going to be a little more spirit led than “please let him like me” or “I hope he asks me to the dance”

It may start out like this: “Heavenly Father, the husband you have for me has to know how to cover me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually! He won’t allow the enemy to infiltrate our camp, covenant, household, finances, children, bedroom, etc.” Do you see the difference? Your prayer life should upgrade as you grow!

We aren’t to be selfish when we pray! We should pray for those around us as well; family, friends, co-workers, employees, employers, government entities, homeless, widows, single parents, father/motherless children, your enemies, racism, equality; etc.

We all should be praying for forgiveness every time we pray; why? Because we are all sinners! “Well then, should we conclude that we Jews are better than others? No, not at all, for we have already shown that all people, whether Jews or Gentiles are under the power of sin”. Romans 3:9 (NLT)

So as you see not anyone of us are perfect; seek forgiveness!

But the problem with this is that many don’t want to face the fact that they are wrong! How do you grow if you you keep hiding behind the mask?

You’re sleeping with married men; that’s adultery, ask/pray for forgiveness! You talk about another woman behind her back; that’s gossip, ask/pray for forgiveness! You’re giving up for body, mind, soul and spirit to a man and there is no ring on your finger, you haven’t walked down the aisle and said I do; that’s sexual immorality, fornication; ask/pray for forgiveness!

Now being that none of us are perfect there is always going to be those that say “well how can you tell someone what to do? Who do you think you are? You are probably doing the same thing; who are you to judge? And my response is I have done the very things I write about! I’m not perfect but I have changed! I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and it was a priority of mine to rid and remove anything and anyone that welcomed or encouraged negative behavior!

I had to ask and pray for forgiveness and also repent! While Jesus comes to save us and show us the right way to live we also have to do our part!

You can’t claim to be a Christian and still be sleeping around! You can’t claim to be a Christian and still speaking hate over other women!

You can’t claim to be a Christian and dropping it like its hot on Saturday nights and sitting up in church on Sunday singing and clapping your hands; it’s out of order!

We are the representatives of Our Heavenly Father! The Alpha and the Omega! The Beginning and the End! You can’t be in/of the world and claim to be filled with the Holy Spirit!

When you seek to help others it’s not always about judgement. I am a firm believer that when you make it out of negative circumstances that you help others escape as well. Daniel 3:24-25 says this “But suddenly, Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and exclaimed to his advisors ‘Didn’t we tie up three men and throw them into the furnace?’ ‘Yes, your majesty, we surely did,’ they replied. ‘Look!’ Nebuchadnezzar shouted. ‘I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a God!” (NLT)

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us to fend your ourselves; so, why would you leave your fellow sister to escape on her own?

To the women that are reading this I pray that you receive the message with love and kindness. I pray that you look within yourself and search for anything that isn’t of God and pray for its removal from your life!

God is love, he doesn’t partake in anger or strife when it comes to deliverance and forgiveness!
Our Heavenly Father wants to bless us beyond measure but we first have to receive Him in our lives and yes that will mean giving up some people, places and things!

We can’t live a sinful life willingly and actually believe that He will bless it. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego stepped out of the fiery furnace they weren’t burned, they didn’t even smell of smoke; why?

Because God was with them! They didn’t deny him, they didn’t compromise, they didn’t lower their standards; they believed and had Faith that God was with them and that He would show up and show out!

So, I pray that you accept God into your life and make a complete transformation and that He will bless you beyond measure! Pray for me as I pray for you my dear sister..Amen

Scriptures references:

2017 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises (Kingdom Gals Series)

Singleness_Real-Love_Purpose & Truth #MyFutureHusband

Many times we as Singles will not be granted access to the season of marriage because we haven’t done what we have been told, shown or directed to do! 

We are all here for a purpose! If you spend all day running and chasing after a man or women; then how are you chasing after your purpose? 

How are you about your Father’s Business? Jesus was about his Father’s business and he had little time for anything else; especially if it was a distraction to what he had been assigned to accomplish!

What, who, and where have you been assigned to? Do you even know? Or is chasing someone more important than you finding out? What if the very person that you are chasing after is leading you away from your purpose? Just think; if this person was the one, then why are You chasing Them? Let that sink in; let it marinate and just allow that to penetrate your mind for a minute.

Married couples many times get married for the wrong reasons and then wonder why there is so much conflict and dysfunction! 

Well for starters where is God in your relationship? Did he bring you two together or was it done on a personal level? You chased him and he got tired of running or vice versa? He needed a place to stay and you had space; it turned sexual, you got pregnant and he wanted to do the “right” thing? Both of you were up in age didn’t want to be alone; so you got married? Where was God in any of this?

Ladies when you think of a potential mate; you want it to be someone you can trust! You want it to be someone who will trust you; there are some men who don’t trust themselves so in turn don’t and won’t trust you! When this happens jealousy and many times abuse may rear its ugly head; domestic violence isn’t love!

Men when you have been cheated on or been the cheater; you want to deal with that issue! You want to go through some kind of counseling to get to the root of the cause and effect so when you do decide you’re ready for full blown commitment you don’t mess it up because of any past issues. 

Everyone always suggests this for women but men come into relationships with lots of baggage as well! Men come from single parent household they may have been lacking a dad and sometimes mom isn’t around; those issues need to be dealt with.

So on the flip side; fellas you want a mate that you’re able to trust and she can trust you. Just think about if neither one of you have done your work and come into the relationship with trust issues among other things; that is disaster waiting to happen and stress all around; who wants to deal with that?

What if you’re already engaged or married and this is the issue? No trust has been there from day one; are both parties even open to working it out? 

This may seem like a crazy question; because many assume that if you’re engaged or married; then you had to trust the person. 

Nope because so many people marry for the wrong reasons! There can be no love or trust; just lust! Lust don’t last always! There can be no love, no trust and no lust; but money and lots of it! Who marries for money?

My Future Husband: Tailor-Made by God. Available now at

© 2017 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises 

My Future Husband: It’s time to be Honest…

There are so many men and women that don’t know how to be complete as an individual; how can they be complete in a marriage? 

So many men and women have grown up in a single parent household; have they dealt with and worked on their feeling of abandonment?

: Men and Women! If you have children prepare your children as you are waiting! You have the desire to be One with someone but your family dynamics is out of order! 

Why bring someone else into your dysfunction? Your kids talk back to you? They will talk back to your spouse! Your children disrespect you? They will disrespect your spouse! Your children are acting out at school, their grades are horrible and they don’t have the desire to learn? 

Children feed off of what they see and hear! If they see you running and chasing after someone else besides them; they will respond! You are showing your child(ren) that they don’t matter! You have time for a blind date; but you don’t have time to help them with their homework? You got time to go to the club but you don’t have time to chaperone a field trip? 

The Bible says this in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it”. (NKJV) 

My point in all of this is that your child should be your top priority; not some random person who may not even make it to a 2nd date! You have to take care of home no matter what! 

Your child(ren) were there way before this person and anyone that comes into the equation will know and understand that! 

The Right person will blend in; not try to dismantle what has already been built! They will in fact build upon it and make the foundation stronger! They will be an addition and not a distraction!

Your praying for God to send your husband or wife but your house isn’t in order!

When you decide you don’t want to be someone’s doormat, their punching bag, their part time boo thang then you’re almost ready to begin your work; but you’re missing another step in the process. What is that step and what does it require?

There are so many people out here; men and women losing themselves in others that care nothing for them! Losing their souls, their minds and all kinds of self control; for a relationship! 

They will give up everything even their kids to have a warm body next to them and/or under them. They are going about it all the wrong way;  love, real love doesn’t require you to lose anything but you gain so much more and the way to get it is through Our Heavenly Father! 

Why do it the wrong way; when the right way is so much easier?

©2017 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises 

content also appears in the book titled My Future Husband: Tailor-Made by God available at

Submit To Me: #SpiritualSundays

Ephesians 5:21-23 says this “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior”. (NIV)

Just the other day I happened to be watching a live FaceBook video and the topic was about Submission. Many women and men have a problem with this word and it can be just because they dont know the full meaning and how to apply it to their lives! 

Now their were many singles on the live video asking questions about how do singles or how are singles going to submit? The key word here is “Single” and there are two types of Singles: Singles in the World and Singles in the Kingdom of God. Now if you know of another type of Single, please let me know and we can have a discussion about it.

Singles In The World:

Singles in the world will unknowingly submit to they boo, babe, baby daddy, boyfriend, man, in between, booty call, etc I think you get where I am coming from! The word of God calls for wives and husbands to Submit! It doesnt say girlfriend submit to your boyfriend! Why because He is Not Your Husband and You Are Not His Wife!! Many of us do this or have done it! When I was in the world I did it! Looking back I was so lost submitting to some idiot that wasnt my Husband, didnt embody the role of a Leader and wasnt even submissive to God! How as a Single do you believe that you are to submit to someone? Even if you say that you dont; you really are! Think about it! Look up the word submissive and look at your relationship and let that marinate. 

Many of us women believe that when we abide my the rules and regulations of being with a man that he will somehow choose us to be his wife! We aren’t called to be submissive to just any man! But living in the world and doing worldy things then our minds and hearts as well as our spirit can become detached from what is the proper order.

Singles In The Kingdom of God: 

Singles that know the word and live by the word; know that until our Husband or Wife comes along we are to be Submissive to God! Watching this live video I was in shock and disbelief that so many people were asking the question of Singles and Submission! First I was like you are single who are you trying to submit to! Then I was like Duh, you are to Submit to God; you’re Single, that should be simple! But guess what it wasn’t for them, why? Everyone that listens to a message isn’t on the same level! I wasn’t always on this level! I used to partake in the World, I used to reside their comfortably and was a Submissive Woman to lots of nonsense from Un-Submissive Men (or maybe the better word would be Boys) but let me tell you, When I got the Love of Jesus all up in my Soul, in my Spirit! I have never looked back!! Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless”. (NIV)

Spiritually Speaking:

Wives! Future Wives! This is the type of man you want as Your Husband! Singles! We are to Submit to God! While We Are Single…We dont submit to Joe, Jerry, Jerald, Sarah, Jane, etc! Women and Men while you are prayerfully waiting we are to be about Our Heavenly Fathers Business! His will must be done! This is your time to prepare your mind, body, soul and spirit! You are here for a purpose. Do you know your purpose? Your purpose comes from God! Its not Man-Made….Purpose-driven people require discipline, determination, passion, integrity, relationships, etc. 

I am a firm believer that when you take the right paths as directed by His Word! You allow the Holy Spirit in! You do your best at discerning every situation and your actions and reactions! That God will grant the desires of your heart and everything that you feel like you have been missing out in the world will become yours anyway! Husbands will find their wives! Wives will be found by their Husbands! Submit to God and everything will fall into place if You do as You should..Does that make sense? And let me add this our desires may be to small for God; He just has way more in store for us than we can even fathom! But guess what you have to be committed and submit! 

The world has nothing on God! Nothing can out shine Him! Everything the world offers has a use by date, an expiration date; they have nothing that should be worth giving up your desires, dreams, purpose, life and potential of having God’s Best….

Will you submit or run?

Women’s Devotional Bible, 2006 (NIV)

© 2017 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises 

Waiting on the One! Are You The One? #SpiritualSundays

I’m writing this here article going into 10 years being single!! Now that’s 10 years Single of not being in a relationship but I have always been single because I was never married. Does that even make any sense? It does but many may not understand the process; so let’s start here. In the word of the Lord; the Bible it tells of the very first relationship between man and woman. Adam and Eve; y’all now the story right? Adam was all fine and working and didn’t have a help-meet to come home to; so like how God always does, he showed up and showed out and created Eve out of Adam’s rib! (Somebody should be shouting right about now) Our Heavenly Father put Adam to sleep and took a rib and created Eve (fully formed) out of that one rib! Adam awoke and saw Eve and it was on and popping; they was married y’all! Like instantly; it wasn’t no dragged out courtship, no playing of games, no messing with nobody mind and wasting nobody time! God saw Adam was ready so he stepped in and made it happen and the rest is history! (Genesis 2:8-25)

Now fast forward to recent times; what a chick gots to do to get a proposal a little ring/ring on that ring finger? Shoot nowadays you tell these Grown boys you waiting to be married; until you go  sleeping with anybody; they will look at you like you crazy and will most likely curse you out! The nerve right; why can’t we have standards, why can’t we respect ourselves and love ourselves? Is there something really wrong with wanting to live without a sexually transmitted disease; and just pray that there are still some really decent guys out there; who can appreciate your wait and your morals?

Okay so let’s be honest many of us have kids right? So we weren’t always trying to live right but; when we did make that decision and choose to live better and seek better, why are we hit with so many challenges of being chosen? As a woman; we aren’t to be on the prowl; or are we? Check out Proverbs 18:22/Proverbs 31:10 and meditate on those and then answer this question! 

What do we do ladies? So many of us have done our work! We have freed ourselves of all the excessive baggage from previous relationships, our childhood issues that tried to take us out, our absent daddy issues, our low self-esteem, our lack of being loved and now we have to wait for Prince Charming to get his act together! (Psalm 37:23-24/Ephesians 4:17-24)

Do you want to be tied to confusion, mistrust, dishonesty, lying, cheating, lustful, abusive, angry, lost and confused piece of a person? I know I don’t; because that doesn’t get me anywhere but back to where I started and; I refuse to backtrack and restart my healing process all over again! When you re-open that door; you not only are saying you don’t believe you deserve the best, but you are giving the enemy access to you once again! And we all know what he comes to do! (John 10:10)

When you’re in the waiting stage you want to be pursuing your dreams,hopes, goals, your purpose and your passion but you don’t want to be so busy; that you can’t appreciate where you are and how far you have come! Your prayer game needs to be tight and on lock! Are you praying for your future husband; while your waiting? Are you praying for your future wife; while your seeking, searching and scoping her out? How and what are you praying; that will make a big difference in how the process goes and what will be the outcome! 

Guys, I feel I should start with you first because you are the one that has to make the choice! Who are you choosing? I know we all want the desires of our heart; I get all that, but for where some of y’all are going are you choosing the right help-meet? Do you honestly know what a help-meet is and what it looks like when she comes on the scene? (Re-read the story of Adam and Eve, check out what a Proverbs 31 woman looks and acts like) Some of y’all out here searching for arm candy! (Can I get a witness?) Chicks that can’t help you reach your next level and you wondering why you stuck? You want the favor that only Our Heavenly Father can give but I believe that you have to choose wisely! (Touch your neighbor and say “choose wisely“) Bonus scripture to read as well (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Ladies, now remember I said that we have to be chosen; right? (Did you read the previous scriptures where it states the husband finds the wife?) I’m going to try to tread lightly here but it may get a little deep for some; and I may lose some of y’all but that’s cool! Who are you trying to be found by? Are you what you are waiting for? Are you the one? Everyone wants to be the “Proverbs 31” wife but have you read the scripture to know what that means? Are you able to; do you have the ability to be submissive? (Ephesians 5: 22-24) Let’s try this out and see what happens; how should we as potential prospects be clothed? Read 1 Timothy 2:9 and let that sink in; can you be submissive to God and follow that mandate? 

I don’t know about y’all but I am waiting for the best #futurehusband that Our Heavenly Father can groom into the man “he needs him” to be and the husband “he has to be” for me! Grown Boys this isn’t your category until you “level-up” and stop playing games and get on point and do your work; and allow Our Heavenly Father to do his part in your life! 

I could write about this all day but I will end with this; are you practicing abstinence or celibacy? Need more information to go on? Read  1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 and meditate on those words! Let them sink in ladies and guys and then you can truly and honestly answer the question: Are You The One? (Touch your neighbor and ask them: did she teach? Did you learn anything?) Now let the church say: Amen! 
Until next Time 

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Share this article with your friends and family; other singles! Even the ones who don’t think they single! If they aren’t legally married; then they Single! (Let that sink in; it took me sometime to come to grips with that too, LOL).

Peace! Love! And all that good stuff……Stay faithful, prayed up and just watch how it all plays out….