12 Years Single and Counting: From The Desk of a Single Mom

For some; 12 years may seem like a long time. Many think of it only being 12 years of not being in a committed relationship; this is 12 years and counting of no relationship, no dating and no sexual relations!

Very big difference…Anyone can be single but single and no sex; is a whole different ball game! A ball game that many would rather not attend or even be part of.

Some people will tell you that they can’t live without sex! I tell them I’ve had enough sex; to last me a lifetime! Lust isn’t something I’m looking forward to for the rest of my life; I want real unconditional and mutually given love. I’ve had the one sided relationships were you’re the only one interested in commitment and all they want is sex; no thanks I’ll pass.

None of us are perfect! We as women fall for some make believe jokers; who are counterfeit and deceptive. We fell for it; but, don’t allow that to stop you from being an effective woman and an awesome single mom! I’m speaking from experience; I was led to believe that nobody wanted me with kids! Let me tell you somebody wants me! God wants me! God created me to be a purpose-driven woman and can’t no grown boy come in and change that; not anymore!

12 Years Single and Counting:

I didn’t always believe this; I had to get to this place! I had to do my work! I had to release and get delivered from so much that sought to take me out! I had time to get to know me and finally began to love myself….

I became a better Mom! My relationship with my kids was always good; but, it amplified once I surrendered and submitted to God and gave Him my all..

I became a better Woman!

A Purpose-Driven Woman!

A Determined Woman!

A Godly Woman!

A Spiritual Woman!

A Renewed Woman!

I’ve always had the desire to be married but I wanted to be married; to the right man! I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce. I knew the grown boys that I was playing house with were definitely not fit to fill the role of husband! And, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for the imposters that the enemy had set before me..

3 takeaways I want to leave with you:

1. Don’t allow a defeated mindset to lead you!

2. Don’t allow your right now situation to overtake you.

3. Don’t allow the past situations to immobilize you.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

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#SpiritualSundays: The Process is Necessary

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV)

Getting to the promise land; wasn’t an easy task! The Israelites had to go through the process! Getting to the Cross; wasn’t an easy task! Jesus had to go through the process!

One thing that I love to do is break down the meaning of words; so we all can be on the same page. What does the word process mean?

Definition of process:

  1. “a systematic series of actions directed to some end: to devise a process for homogenizing milk.

  2. a continuous action, operation, or series of changes taking place in a definite manner: the process of decay.”

Both of these definitions give you the meaning of the word process and a visual to aid you in getting the full meaning of the word.

This allows you the ability to know that going through a process isn’t going to be easy! You won’t have that microwave effect; pop it in and in 2 minutes your popcorn kernels are complete and full of flavor! Life and the trials and tribulations you go through won’t have that effect…

The Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years! Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights; they both had to go through their own individual process! The levels of what they had to endure were different; but the outcome were similar in nature. The Israelites were attempting to get to the “Promise Land” and Jesus was on his journey to the “Cross”. Both of these encounters were necessary because it teaches us the path that they each had to take to get to their end result! Their blessing!

But guess what? They had to go through the process! Jesus’ time in the desert wasn’t as extensive has the Israelites because “He was about His Father’s business”, He had been groomed for it..(process)…Jesus didn’t come on the scene; until He was well into His 30’s; what do you think He was doing in that time? Being groomed and processed!

The Israelites had been in captivity for many, many years; they had learned behaviors that had to be unlearned! Removed and burned away! How are you held against your will, taught to bow down to foreign practices and be able to just walk into “The Promised Land” ready to walk into your God given purpose; full of blessings and favor, with old baggage? How are you going to be effective for the Kingdom of God?

So many people; including myself want(ed) the microwave (fast) effect to coming out of captivity (trials-tribulations-wilderness-darkness-etc

We want to lay down one day and wake up the next with a changed attitude, a renewed heart, a new lease on life, favor that was endless and more abundance than we can stand!

But guess what? The process is necessary to remove and discard of everything that you picked up and allowed to attach itself to you along the way!

When Jesus was crucified it was a 3 day process before He rose!! But catch this; He had to go through the process of being tempted, being in the wilderness fasting and praying, raising up His disciples and having many of them turn their backs on Him, turning water into wine, walking on water, casting out demons; I can keep going but I think you get what I’m saying!

Jesus has to do something’s! He had to be processed to be prepared to be crucified and then lifted up!! He had to go through the process to get to His finish line!! His victory dance!!

The Israelites’ process took a little longer; 40 years is a long time to be in the wilderness; but guess what? God took care of them the whole time!! He provided for them; he clothed, fed them and gave them shelter! But guess what? They complained and didn’t want to listen to His instructions! They argued with Moses and Joshua more than they listened and followed instructions!

God gave them the tools necessary to get to the “Promise Land” the keys to open up their destiny but they cried, complained and rejected the “process”..

Were they this defiant when they were in bondage? In captivity? Do you remember them saying that they were better off when they were with their oppressor?

How many of us think that our lives were better when we were living as we wanted to? When we were sinning and fornicating? Going to clubs and grinding all up on people; we didn’t even know? Stealing, cursing, doing and selling drugs, etc.. The enemy loves to hold you captive, remind you of the “good ole days” when you were “free”… How does any of those types of behaviors have you free when you’re being held captive and racking up strong holds, generational curses, and soul ties?

To rid of everything that isn’t of God! You have to go through the process of removing it and cutting it off! Will it be easy? No.. Will it be fun? No… Will you enjoy it? No.. But catch this; it’s all worth it; in the end!!!!!!

Jesus got seated at the right hand of the Father; after His process…The Israelites walked or some may have crawled into the “Promise Land”, their entourage was a little light because of their process; but they eventually got there…if they would’ve got on board sooner than later; their process could’ve been quicker!

How much longer are you going to complain? How much longer are you going to fight the process? How much longer are you going to pout and be disobedient?

Let me be the 1st one to tell you; you are holding up your process! You are holding up your blessings, your favor, your abundance; all because you want to have it your way! Guess what? You have to rid yourself of everything that you carried with you while you were in enemy territory! That baggage has to be disposed of! All those un-godly thoughts and practices you picked up while hanging out with the enemy; has to go!

How can God bless you when you’re trying to figure out ways to flip it and make it multiply? How can God bless you when you thinking of ways to sleep your way to the top? How can God bless you when you scheming to take out your competition?

Anything that is “worth” having is going to come with a process!! You want to be refined! You want to be renewed! Washed in the blood! Come out of the fire; untouched!! You have to go through the process!! The “promise land” comes with obedience, blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice and a burning off of the old man; that old woman!! Are you up for the challenge? The process? The re-awakening? This only happens when you say Yes to Our Heavenly Father..the choice is yours!! What do you choose Life or Death?

References used:

http://www.dictionary.com

http://www.biblegateway.com

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted

Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

The Power of God…

These scriptures lay down the foundation as it applies to the Power of God….

You have to be equipped if your going to be on guard! Reading the word is one of the steps in the process..

1 Corinthians 1:18

2 Corinthians 12:9

Romans 1:16

Romans 15:13

Ephesians 3:16

2 Timothy 1:8

2 Peter 1:3

Ephesians 1:19

Acts 10:38

1 Corinthians 2:5

Isaiah 40:29-31

Many of us are still not fully grasping the power that we receive from God!

We are still walking around like we don’t know who we are and whose we are!

Many of us release our power and hand it over to the enemy because we don’t believe that we are worthy of it!

We are still giving the enemy full access into our lives and believing the lies that he whispers in our ears; and therefore relinquishing our rights to the power of God!

You must’ve forgotten that the enemy; your enemy and mine only comes to steal, kill and destroy!!

Our Heavenly Father has given you the Authority (Luke 10-19) to crush serpents (snakes) and scorpions (predators) and you’re out here given away that authority to partner with the enemy; because he somehow promised you the world!

We found out in Matthew 4:1-11 that the enemy tried his hardest to tempt Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but he got shot down!! (Jesus had been fasting for 40 days and 40 nights and he appeared weak and the enemy decided to make his move; but guess what Jesus was still ready and equipped to take him on!)

Do you remember how Jesus shot him down? With the word of God…that’s your number #1 weapon against the enemy!! Your Bible; each and every time he comes to you with his lies you tell him what the Bible says!! What God says! What Jesus says!!

How many of us fall victim when were at our lowest points in life? I’ve come to remind you to Be on guard because the enemy is near and waiting to see who he can devour!

Men and women of God be on guard be aware of your surroundings and of those that are creeping their way into your inner circles! Your friend zone! They come too you smiling and calling you friend, their woman, their man and all the while silently plotting to take you out!! They seek to get you far away from God and the purpose He has placed in you! The Power to be the woman or man He has called you to be!!

God has placed something in you that only you can deliver! Only you can bring to life and that’s the very thing that the enemy wants to get access to so he can use it for himself or bury it where you won’t be able to recover it! Take back your Power and shut the enemy down once and for all…

How many of you are ready to take your Power back?

This message is also available on podcast; https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2

Or by clicking here: https://anchor.fm/tamara06

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#SpiritualSundays: What Do You See?

By Tarsha L. Campbell

 

I once heard a preacher say, You have to see it before you see it. What he was basically talking about was the importance of having a vision when pursuing any thing in your life. I personally think having a vision cant be underestimated. It is one of the foundational building blocks when creating the life you want and the life God has prepared for you. 

 

Along with being a coach, Im also a graphic designer. In college one of the first things we were trained and conditioned to do was cultivate our vision. No matter how creative and gifted we thought we were, we couldnt just jump into a project before we took time to draw out some sketches. The sketches helped us map out what we wanted to produce and create.  In essence, we were envisioning the end result of what we wanted or could possibly create. I cant begin to tell you how valuable this small step has been, and continues to be in my businesses, ministry and personal life. Tapping into the power of vision helps me draw out whats in the Spirit realm. I have come to realize that as I utilize the power of vision, and move forward to create what I have seen, the divine forces of creativity comes along side me to make my vision a reality in the Earth realm. This is a powerful principle! Powerful!

 

Being able to envision a thing is apart of our spiritual DNA. Its one of the things that make us like God. When vision is coupled with divine creativity (creativity is another thing that makes us like God), the sky is the limit on what we can do and accomplish! I want to encourage you to cultivate the power of vision in you. Spend time with God and ask Him to show you what He envisions for your life. Then ask Him to activate His creative power in you to make your vision a reality.

 

Your Next Step Coaching Moment:

 

•  How much do you utilize the power of vision in your life?

 What do you see in your future?
 What steps have you taken to make it your reality?

 

Empowerment Resource: 

 

Need help cultivating the power of vision in your life? Check out this resource: My Next Step Vision Board Dream Journal & Planner. For more information and watch the video found at this link: www.MyNextStepVisionBoardJournal.com

 

 

2018 © Tarsha L. Campbell, All Rights Reserved, Used with permission

#SpiritualSundays: When the Only Way to Go is Up…

When I tell you 2018 has been a crazy year; please believe me. Past years haven’t been all that peachy either and as a Christian you often ask God; “why Lord, when will it get better?”

Day after day, month after month; you get a glimpse of hope here and there; but then you get sidelined once again! You often wonder is it something I’m doing wrong or not doing at all? Is something from my past coming back to bite me or somehow cause this dry and weary season? Please forgive me Lord; please!

I know a lot of you can relate and feel where I’m coming from; all of us don’t get to experience the comfy, gushy life all the time. There are some of us that are taken through the wilderness, those fiery dungeons and those murky waters; and all while going through this have to have that smile on our face and pep in our step!

For some, it’s not an easy task and we lash out instead of looking up! We lash out on those closest to us and even those that have no clue as to what we are dealing with; some of us feel like it’s just too much and just end it all…

As a Christian we are taught or believe that God is our provider: “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.” Psalms 121:1-8 (KJV)

I’m here to tell you that we’ve been down far too long; we can’t get any lower! The only way from here; is Up! Yes, it’s been hard and yes we have been stretched and looked over! But, the only way to go now; is Up!

You can have all the degrees there is to get and still not breaking even! You have years upon years of experience and they still want to offer you chump change! You can easily be a team lead, supervisor, manager; etc but they still won’t recognize, acknowledge or even grant you an interview!

And all while experiencing this you have people in your life that don’t believe in you! Don’t believe that you’re doing your absolute best! They come in and kick you down instead of lifting you up! They walk away as if you never meant anything to them; you stood by them in their time of need and now their nowhere to be found!

I get it; believe me I do! I am writing this from experience and heart ache but you know what gets me through? Trusting and believing in the one that created me!! Our Heavenly Father! Our Alpha and Omega!! Do you know Him?

When everyone else walked away and left me to pick up the pieces on my own; God was right there! Cheering me on and giving me the strength to endure! The struggle is very real but, I’m in it to win it!!

We at least not me; weren’t told that a Christian life would be easy; yes we have this loving Father; but, we also have the enemy who gets insanely upset when you choose a better more fulfilling life! He isn’t going to willingly let you go; you have to break free and that will mean some hard, stressful times ahead!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

So, what do you choose??

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself. 

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life! 

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated! 

From the Desk of a Single Mom: Will You Break the Cycle?

I shared something on my social media pages the other day and I am going to share it here as well. Now, since I am a #singlemomofpurpose I only addressed it to single moms but it can apply to all mothers!

image-1

“Single moms, do you talk to your kids about domestic violence? Have you experienced domestic violence? Many people say that kids shouldn’t know about adult issues! #1: it shouldn’t even be an adult ISSUE at all and #2: they shouldn’t grow up believing this type of stuff is okay! If they hear and see; then why not sit down and have the conversation. I did…I chose to break the cycle. Difficult conversation to have especially when it’s their father (and even when it’s not); but it needed to be said….Our kids mimic what they see and hear (even into adulthood)“… Now, what are your thoughts?

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I didn’t get too many likes or comments; which is understandable. I get it!  I didn’t want to talk about being treated in this way with nobody; not even my kids; when I was going through it! I was trying to wrap my head around why I was being treated this way. I thought I was doing everything right; but guess what? The book of John in chapter 10 verse 10 instructs us that the “enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy.” I didn’t know that back then; I thought I was doing something wrong! Nobody deserves to be treated like a piece of garbage; I don’t care who they are. What really blew my mind; both relationships that I was in; I spoke to their moms about how I was being treated and how they were beating me and you know what both of these “grown boys” mother asked me? What did YOU do to Him? What did YOU say to Him?

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I couldn’t and won’t be like those mothers! Both of these mothers experienced #domesticviolence as well; so, how can you promote it? Many of us don’t get the help or counseling we need after going through traumatic experiences like this. So many of us just want to sweep it under the rug; like it never happened and forget about it! We are afraid of people judging us; because they do! People on the outside looking in; always have an opinion! People that haven’t been in this type of situation don’t understand the emotional, mental, physical or spiritual aspects that you have to try and make sense of; let alone why you stayed!

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Sometimes all we need to do is listen! Don’t judge! Don’t give our two cents and don’t take sides!! Especially if you don’t know what to say or how to say it! I had someone come to me years later and apologize for their blatant disrespect. At the time, she didn’t know what to say because she had never been in that situation; but it took her that long to process; that she was wrong.

But, do use see why we need to break the curse? Break the cycle! People actually think this is okay! They always want to blame the victim and they don’t fully understand the after effects! I was messed up for years; I can’t even begin to tell you what I had to go through; but I knew that I didn’t want my kids repeating the cycle!

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When you decide to become a parent; you are bringing new life into the world! You have to mold, shape and guide them; it’s not always going to easy and fun. It’s going to be difficult and trying at times; but who would you rather raise them up?

 

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am a Single Mom, Author, Writer, and Motivator!!!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

 

From The Desk of a Single Mom: God Wants You to Have More….

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. John 10:10 (NKJV)

For some; this is music to your ears! Jesus came so that we can have a better life; but, it doesn’t exempt us from the hand of the enemy!

Life can be sweet for some and hard for others. You can live by the rules and still go through some rough patches. When you make a decision in life to begin to live according to the word of God; (bible) no one really tells you that you will still go through hard times. But, if you read your Bible you will find out for yourself; that even Jesus went through some rough times! He was betrayed by many who said they believed in him and even walked with him! The devil came for him just as he comes for us with his twisted schemes! But we have to stay strong and not allow the bad times to overtake us!

We can’t feel sorry for ourselves and let the disappointments and hardships sink in and swallow us whole! Even though we go through the fire; God will see us through! Even though those jobs you keep applying for turn you down; God will see you through! Even though that promotion that comes with more money and flexibility; didn’t come through; God is still for you! Even though the very people you went out of your way for; turned their backs on you; God is still with you!

When bad things begin to happen; people always blame God! Why did God allow this to happen? Why didn’t God do something? Many of us fail to realize that the enemy wants you to think and speak this way! He wants you to turn away from God; don’t give him that satisfaction! Realize who it is; that is against you, and remember who it is; that is for you! You see that scripture above? John 10:10 tells you exactly who you’re dealing with! It tells you what his role is; remember that.

We have to be on guard and keep ourselves covered! What does that mean? Pray, discern, keep the faith, don’t get distracted, don’t be tempted, and remember the promise! What’s the promise? Abundance…may it overflow into your life……

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator and Single Mom!!!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!