From the Desk of a Single Mom: Our Very 1st Home….Thank You Jesus!!

Can I brag on My God! God did it! We sometimes want to take credit for the things that happen in our lives! But, I can’t and won’t do that today! Some of us just won’t give credit where it is due! I won’t be one of them!

On 5.11.18 my children and myself were able to secure our very 1st home! That’s a big blessing; one that we can’t take any credit for! So many of us fail to realize that we don’t have total and complete control of what takes place in our lives! Yes, we can get a job and make a bunch of money (some of us) and we can buy all the nice shiny sparkling things; that people will ooh and ahh over but none of that makes any difference if you don’t have God in your life!

Buying a house isn’t a fun and easy process! If you got cold hard cash; then maybe you won’t get the headache! But, when you have to deal with sellers, mortgage companies, banks; etc those headaches are numerous! Your credit score has to be on point! Your bank account has to be at a certain level because you have fees on top of fees you will have to pay out. Did I forget to mention that I didn’t go through one of those 1st time home buyers class? I skipped all over that step; lol! I dove in head first and had no idea what I was getting myself into!

My parents where home buyers before but I was a child when that process took place for the first time; when my dad brought another house years later; he made it seem so easy I didn’t even ask about all the mishaps that could take place. I didn’t tell too many people I was looking to buy because:

  1. I didn’t want to hear any horror stories!
  2.  or do you think your ready?
  3. or really; you think you can handle that?
  4. I don’t know if the market is good for that.
  5. or people counting my coins!
  6. and I didn’t want anyone telling me what God couldn’t do!

I don’t know about you but as a Single Mom; people always feel like you don’t have it all together and need their two cents! Now, don’t get me wrong I love some good sound advice but don’t treat me like I haven’t been raising my kids all this time by myself! I know what I can and can’t handle! And I got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a big decision like this I checked with my Heavenly Father first! He knows what the forecast is before any of us even open our eyes!

You see, when we moved into our last apartment 06.08.17 I wrote a note and put it on my prayer wall! It basically was me saying this had to be it with this apartment living! I was done with it! I was tired, my kids were tired and we wanted better for our lives! We grew tired of all the rules that these apartment communities enforced! They basically had the keys to come and go as they pleased while you were paying the rent! Every time we turned around they were having inspections for this and for that; people all up in your living space. You could park here; but you can’t park there! You can have these many guests over and they have to leave at this time! They charged you for everything; gym key, washer and dryer, updated appliances; jeez really! I was putting out so much money and I knew there had to be a better way.

I would often dream about the day when we could have our own; I prayed for it, I put it on my vision boards; until the last vision board that I did, I just felt it was already done! No need to look for and paste these pictures of houses and what they would have inside of it anymore!

We started the journey almost 6 months into living in that last apartment. I called up a friend that also happens to be a realtor and told him I was ready to start looking for a house! I didn’t know chicken squat about what I needed to do or have; I just knew I was ready! He began to send me listings and gave me the name of a guy at the mortgage company and we were on our way! I wish I could tell you that it was smooth sailing; it wasn’t! The whole process was stressful! Any time you want to upgrade your life; the enemy will be on full alert and the attacks will begin! How dare you think that you deserve more? Better? How dare you?

Let me tell you something! I kept on full steam ahead! My Heavenly Father sent his “only begotten son so that we can have life and have it more abundantly” I wasn’t backing down! And you know some may say; well where is this house? Is it up on a hill? Is it 2 stories high? Is it in a gated community? Does it have those high vaulted ceilings? Are there chandeliers hanging throughout? All that is materialistic and isn’t everlasting! God knows I am a simple chic and that the memories we will build here are far more valuable then all that material stuff!

When I walked into this home; I felt at HOME! I didn’t want to leave! I could feel the joy radiating off the walls! I could feel the laughter! I could feel my kids feeling safe and secure! I could feel God blessing us over and over again! We put in an offer and it was accepted! Yes God! But, I have to add there were many houses before this house! Some far more better, had much more land, had even more rooms and space! There was 1 house that was completely renovated! Had the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen and a garage with the exact washer and dryer set I’ve always wanted; but I didn’t have any of those wonderful feelings I experienced in the home we chose! I wasn’t going to settle because my eyes were fascinated at what I saw! The enemy knows what you like; but God knows what you need!

Every morning I get up I still can’t believe it! Our very 1st Home; I could run, yell and scream and not have to worry about anyone living under us calling and complaining about the noise! I don’t have to wait to vacuum until its almost afternoon time because you might disturb the neighbors! The neighborhood is so calm and peaceful! My neighbors are nice and friendly! My kids haven’t fought not once since we moved in! I have an island in my kitchen! Every place we have lived in the past 5 years the kitchen was so small; we all couldn’t fit in there! Our kitchen now can fit all the kitchens from all our past places! Only God!

Let me tell you this if nobody else has: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE GOD IN YOUR LIFE!

I’m still a Single Mom, still haven’t found the right career path but let me tell you this; we aren’t living in another apartment because God said it was time to advance!! I don’t question when God moves anymore! I used to get frustrated with him; like come on God when is something going to happen! When will I get married? When will I stop living paycheck to paycheck? When will my books start being on women’s bookshelves and in their hands? When? Our time isn’t God’s time! When He says it is time; then we better be ready! Are you ready? Are you ready to advance? What actions are you taking? All I had to do was “write the vision and make it plain!” NO MORE APARTMENT LIVING IN 2018!

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

From The Desk of a Single Mom: Cutting Corners and Saving Money….

As a single mom I am always looking for ways to save money! Living on one income gets harder and harder with prices going up all the time; so many times we have to be creative in how we budget and spend!

Something that I decided to do recently was start making my own deodorant! It’s been a couple years since I stopped buying the regular deodorant for my boys and myself; I’ve been buying all natural and it gets very expensive as a single mom!

So one night as I’m on the website where I purchase this all natural deodorant from; I got to thinking “I can make this myself; why am I about to spend $30 for 2 small jars?”. As I thought about it I couldn’t come up with a valid reason; so I closed out that website and went to YouTube! And guess what I found several videos on making all natural deodorant! All these videos showed me I only needed 4 ingredients; baking soda, corn starch, coconut oil and my choice of essential oils! I had 3 of these ingredients already at home!

So you know what I went out the next day and bought the missing ingredient for under $2; went back home and made 5 jars of all natural deodorant! These jars will last my boys and I a couple of months!!

So now that I know I can save money by thinking before I make a purchase for something I can clearly made at home; I will definitely venture out and do so!! I think I will try all natural toothpaste next! A tube of all natural toothpaste usually costs me close to $5…..YouTube here I come….

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Special Edition: The Sex Talk

Are you a parent?

Have you had the sex talk with your child or children?

How did it go? Did you find out anything you weren’t aware of? Were they already sexually active? Did they already have birth control (girls) Did they already have condoms on hand (girls and boys)?

If you haven’t had the sex talk with them; who do you expect to teach them or speak with them about it? The streets? Society? School? Peers? Absentee Parent?

Do you believe that when you have the talk with them; they will listen to what you have told them? Let’s face it our kids aren’t perfect and neither were we; but you want to prepare them for the outside world and all that it involves!

I never got the talk from my parents and I can say I wish they would’ve prepared me for that part of my life! I remember my mom telling me to not have a boyfriend until I was 18 with no other explanation. As a young girl I didn’t know what to expect and she just left me hanging. Okay you said don’t have a boyfriend until I’m 18; why not? We as parents have to speak up and tell our kids what happens when you go down that road.

1. You can get pregnant! You can get someone pregnant!

2. Date rape!

3. Domestic violence!

4. Sexually transmitted diseases!

5. Reputation!

The list goes on and on but you get the picture!

Even though I didn’t get the talk from my parents I didn’t want to repeat that cycle! I decided early on that I would have the talk with my kids and let them know what they were up against! I didn’t want them to go down the same roads I had traveled! But, even though you have that talk your kids may still stray because of their surroundings and the friends they have; etc. With all the technology, we have nowadays we as parents; also have to tell them how not to use that in a negative aspect as well! Sending x-rated pics, videos and messages! That can definitely land them in big trouble!

All we can really do is lay the foundation, plant those seeds and pray they listen, understand and do what’s right.

And if they happen to go down that road and the outcome isn’t positive then we have to acknowledge what they’ve done and help them learn from it!

So many young kids are having kids and they have no sense of direction or what to expect! So many young boys leave these young ladies to do it all on their own and it’s not right!

Parents if your son gets a young girl pregnant he needs to accept his responsibility! He was part of the problem; he needs to be a part of the solution!

The way I told my boys and my daughter; “you see how I’ve struggled to provide for y’all; you don’t want to repeat this cycle! Don’t be like me; be better than me!”.

It start with us! If not us then who?

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2018 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/kingdomgals

Join my Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274547549700921

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!