Command Your Day…..

Did you know you have power?
We have a choice each morning we are blessed to open our eyes! We can control our attitudes and our responses to what comes our way.

I used to have a problem with road rage! I would get so upset when someone cut me off! But when I stopped and thought about it; who was I hurting? Nobody but myself! I was raising my own blood pressure and possibly causing harm to my heart; due to the stress. Wasn’t worth it; I want to live a long and healthy life. 

Now when I’m on the road; I give those people who want to get a rise out of me their space! I stay far away from them and my drive is so stress-free. I control how I’m going to react and I love it and so does my blood pressure and my heart! Lol.

This can apply in so many different situations; I’m sure you can think of a few. 

Try it out and see how it works for you!

Until next time…
Tamara 

Are you a part of the Sisterhood?

Why you?
This question can be posed many ways; lots of options come to mind.

1. Why are you single?

2. Why are you a single mom?

3. Why should you be his wife?

4. Why should you get this new job?

5. Why should you be promoted?

6. Why did you get fired?

7. Why did you become self-employed?

8. Why did he break your heart?

9. Why did he cheat on you?

10. Why did you move to a new city or town?

There are so many different scenarios that can play out; but will they all generate the same answers or response?

As a woman I’m sure we can relate to a few of the different questions posed and may very well have a detailed story for each of them. 

While we all may lead very different lives we all still have one thing in common; we are all women and we can all experience the same kinds of trials and tribulations. 

Being that we are all women shouldn’t we have each other’s back? Have a mutual respect for each other? Even though we may not personally know each other? 

I don’t know where it started or how it even got started or who sent out the memo that we were even suppose to be at odds; but we all can go so much higher and reach all time highs, if we just did our best to respect and admire one another! 

When you are walking down the street or hallway at work; would it be so awful to speak to the other woman walking towards you? Never mind she may look mean or like she doesn’t want to be bothered! You have no idea what she is facing, what she is going through or what she has been through! Your words can very well be what she needs to hear a simple “good morning” can brighten anyone’s day, especially if they are dealing with all kinds of craziness at home or on the job! 

You speaking to them with just a hint of positivity can trigger that goodness in their mind that may have been covered up and just needed to be released! 

As a woman I have experienced so much dislike from my fellow sisters and I know many of you can relate! Much of the dislike has no warrant at all on our part; so of us simple walk in the room and the looks of death start raining down! Why? I can’t fully answer that question but I will say that I never allow it to stop me from being who I am; kind, considerate, compassionate, emphatic, loving, caring and supporter to many; even those that dislike me! 

Ladies never allow anyone not even the next woman to steal your shine! We all can rise to the top! We don’t have to dislike the next woman for her climb up the ladder; support her, cheer her on, be her biggest supporter; so when it’s your turn you can expect the same. 

What else can we as women do to be better in our sisterhood?

Reaching Your Next Level

Reaching the Next Level

What is your next level? Have you reach all your goals that you have set for yourself? Have you found your purpose? What I have come to know and understand is that your purpose will be far bigger than you are and where you see yourself going? I would have never thought about writing and sharing my life’s journey with anyone; but then I realized that my trials and struggles could help the next person. How? By knowing that they aren’t alone in this thing we call life; all of us go through things and it helps to know that you aren’t going through by yourself.

Anything someone can say or do in a positive aspect could very well change your life for the better! There are some pretty awesome people in this world than can very well get you on the right path if you just take out the time to listen to what they have to say. I can totally attest to that; I have had some great people to grace me with their presence just to get me on the right path and plant their seeds of knowledge, inspiration and wisdom along the way.

Who gets anywhere in life by themselves? Many great and historical people all had someone in their ear and life cheering them on; even if it was only for a quick moment, or in passing. What level are you trying to reach? How will you get there? Is your team in formation? You need an entourage to help keep you on track and empowered! Do you have that daily dose of inspiration?

Now let’s remember that when you are climbing that ladder you will pass those that want to see you back at the bottom! We just look them in the eye and give them a nod and keep it moving! We don’t allow them to stop us or distract us; that’s their plan and their goal, will you allow them  to stop your climb?

Another thing is that money will probably be a big motivation; but it can’t always be about the money! Now money can buy lots of ‘things’ but is that what your purpose is about? Money? What is your why? Is it stability? Is it flexibility? Is it freedom? Whatever it is, don’t allow money to be your main focus. I can be very honest with you; I have been in the red since starting on the road to my purpose. I have given away more books than I have sold and in the world of self-publishing that just isn’t the way to go; but I had to remember my why!

I have always been passionate about helping people and my books are mainly for single women and single moms; I wanted to share my journey and shed light on issues many of us women will face. My hope is that they would read it and make some changes in their lives and that right there is so much better than money.

Building a business for all the right reasons is hard work and will take lots of your money when you don’t have backers, donors and investors. I am always investing in myself so I can better serve and help others in their life. Business can sometimes turn into a mission or ministry and many times you will put out more than  you take in; but you have to always remember your why. Reaching new heights will never be easy but it is always worth it when it’s connected to your purpose!

What are you searching for?

In the Pursuit of Happyness!!!.png

This post is inspired by the 2006 movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” starring Will Smith and his son Jayden. If you saw the movie then you would know why I spelled Happyness that way, Lol. I watched this movie for the 1st time just this week and I have to be honest I was in tears by the end of the movie. I could relate to the movie so much being a Single Mom and feeling like I’m the only one in the race trying to get to the finish line; and finding what will help me get to the place of happiness and stability.

All throughout the movie Will Smith’s character faced so many setbacks but he kept on pushing and moving forward he was determined to get the job; wait better yet the career that would change his life like never before.

When he was faced with eviction not once but twice; the first time he found another route that was much cheaper and smaller but it would do because he know better was ahead! But once again he came home to find all there stuff sitting outside the door; anyone else would have fallen to their knees and giving up but not him, he found another option, a shelter (some may not have went this route; but myself have been faced with that option) whatever you have faced or have to face you will make it through.

Everyday at an internship that didn’t pay him not one dime! He was constantly tried and tested by management to get him to break but he always kept his composure. How many times have you been tried and tested on your job? I know I have been there many times and they were paying me; but never enough to go through what they were dishing out!

At the end of the movie he finally got what he always wanted a career that changed his life and his son’s life for the better; and all he had to do was to keep his head up, no matter what he was faced with! How many times have you wanted to give up when the chips were stacked against you?

Lessons that I learned from watching this movie:

  1. You can defy all the odds placed in front of you.
  2. Once you grab hold of your dreams; never loss sight of them and always remind yourself why you are chasing them.
  3. When you have kids you will do everything in your power to give them the best that life can offer!
  4. Block out all naysayers they have absolutely no idea what your dreams are and how good it’s about to get!
  5. Always be your top supporter and don’t allow anyone to break you or your path to the finish line!

Did you see this movie? If so, what are your takeaways?

Single Mom Salute on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day!Single MomKeep Moving Forward

With Mother’s Day fast approaching I thought I would take out sometime to salute my fellow Single Mom’s and share some of my stories as I go through this journey. If you are a Single Mom then you know that the struggle is real and can very well be a challenge at times; but we press on and know that it won’t last forever! While this day is supposed to be a happy day of celebration I want to highlight somethings that we as Single Moms have to endure on a daily basis; so when you encounter a Single Mom just know that even though she may have a smile on her face, she is maybe hurting on the inside.

We are just 1 person but may have to juggle other roles at times!

Do anyone of you remember when they came out with Fathers Day Cards for Single Moms and people went ballistic! Lol the nerve right; are they in the household helping with the child(ren)? No, they aren’t but everyone has their opinion and 2 cents to throw in when it doesn’t concern them. They aren’t the one that has to miss work (and miss out on pay) when your kid is sick, or has a teacher conference at school. They also aren’t the one that has to do their best to keep a roof over their head, put clothes on their back, shoes on their feet, food in their mouth; all while only bringing in the income of 1 person! People are so quick to judge and kick you while you are down but don’t fully know or care what you have to endure on a daily basis!

Where is this village that I keep hearing about?

Many of us Single Moms don’t have this village that society says it takes to raise a kid! There are no men in the family to step up as father figures; there are no mentors at school that are willing to step in and spend time with your boys to help steer them in the right direction, heck there aren’t even any in the church! I asked a young pastor a few years back if he would like to mentor my boys and he kindly told me to call someone else!

I’m not a fighter but for my children; I will.

Not too long ago my teenage son went to take out the trash and came back home to tell me; that he had an altercation with the maintenance guy that cursed at him for no reason and got in his face! Me being his mother I had to go and approach the situation to see what transpired. As I walked down to where the incident happened my heart was racing and I began to talk to God; Lord you know I’m just a woman a single mom I’m not that big but I have to protect my son, his father isn’t around but I ask you please go before me and prepare this encounter because I don’t know what or who I’m about to face!

As I got closer I saw the maintenance guy and asked was he the only one out there and had he cursed at my son; his facial expression quickly changed from smug to scared and he said yes but he was wrong and it would never happen again. He was upset due to the dumpster being filled and people were placing the trash on the ground and he had to pick it up, I don’t him that wasn’t my sons fault and we weren’t the only ones that lived there and why he decided to pick on a child! These are the types of situations we as Single Moms have to endure. The struggle is way to real.

We really don’t want to be Single; But….

Having the desire to date but the pot being half full or empty. See when you have kids many guys don’t look at you as worthy! They look as you as a liability and quite frankly a waste of their time! Now don’t get me wrong lots of Single Moms get dates but many times that as far as it goes; a date and a nightcap, who wants that for the rest of their lives! We are still women and deserve the best and yes a husband not just some pit stop!

So the next time you encounter a Single Mom give her some words of encouragement, inspiration, hey even some motivation; we like all of those things and can use them to pick ourselves up when this thing called life gets us down. See being a Mom is really awesome and I’m sure none of us will trade it for anything in the world; but as a Single Mom it can be far more challenging and many times a very lonely journey. To all my Single Moms Keep Your Head Up…..

Are you planting positive seeds?

what are you planting- Is it good or bad

Just a little Bible to set the tone

“He replied, Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

Are you a Gardener?

Are gardeners the only ones that are planting seeds; and nurturing them through the process, to bloom into their intended purpose? Seeds are used to produce much of what you see and eat; like apples, oranges, tomatoes, grapes, roses, orchids and ferns; just to name a few. When you plant seeds you are expecting something great and amazing to come from something so small. Who would think that all the beauty you see when you walk through town; such as trees, bushes, plants and flowers came from something that you could literally hold in the palm of your hand?

How is your speech?

What if I told you that the words that you speak can also be seeds that are planted in someone’s mind and their heart? Would you believe me? Would it make you think twice before you allowed yourself to say something negative and life-changing to your child, spouse, parent, co-worker or even a total stranger? “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)

Children are like sponges they absorb everything that they see and hear and I believe that would still apply to adults; since we were once children. So if you say something awful to a child or an adult that is negative it will not only hurt them, they will carry that around in there mind on a daily basis and it can be life altering.

So ask yourself these questions to see what kind of seeds you are planting:

  1. Are you planting seeds of love or hate?
  2. Are you planting seeds of anger or compassion?
  3. Are you planting seeds of hope or failure?
  4. Are you planting seeds of deliverance or acceptance?
  5. Are you planting seeds of prosperity or poverty?

Your words have power! They can be an inspiration to someone or they can be life shattering; how would you choose to speak to those that you encounter now that you know the difference?

 

Single Mom Are You Ready to Date?

Mommy, are you ready to date-

Single Mom: Are You Ready?

As a woman you will always have the desire to date; but as a single mom it can sometimes be a challenge. How will your kids react? Will the guys that you seek or seek you be okay with you having kids? Most importantly you want to ask yourself the question; Single Mom are you ready to date? The answer will be different for each woman that chooses to answer the question due to their personal beliefs and choices. For me making the decision back in 2009 to give my life back to God; I had to figure out what that meant and what changes I had to make, I couldn’t do that and be in the dating world.

Single Woman:

When you are single without children you don’t have little eyes and ears to worry about; but there are many single women that also take an hiatus from the world of dating because the pot isn’t always full with potential candidates to be honest. Many women like a variety to choose from, and even though I have been on the sidelines for sometime; I still have eyes and ears  and the streets be talking! If you are a young woman with morals and standards most of the time that isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Who Are You?

When you don’t know who you are and what you want that will get you exactly that; a guy that doesn’t know what he wants and has no idea who he is! He isn’t going to tell you the truth because he doesn’t know the truth; he is simply having fun and that means sleeping with whomever will give him the time of day! But when you take the time to sit down and think about what you want and figure out who you are; then these types of guys can no longer get any ear time and no play time because they are no longer an option.

So if you are a Single Mom these are the questions you need to ask yourself:

  1. Am I ready to date?
  2. Are my kids ready for me to date?
  3. Do I know who I am?
  4. Do I know what I want?
  5. Am I willing to lower my standards to be in a Relationship?
  6. Do I have any standards?

After answering these questions I hope that you have found the answer to the question posed “Single Mom Are You Ready to Date?”; many of us just jump out there without a plan of action. From what I hear the dating world isn’t what it used to be; you have to come ready and that means knowing who you are and what you want!

Single Mom You Aren’t Alone

Hi there Single Mom, let me be the first to tell you that you aren’t alone; there are many single moms that have been and still in your shoes. When you are going through life and trying to do all that you can; it really does feel like you have no help in sight.

Where is the support system? Where is that village to help raise the kids? Chapter 5 (Is It Really That Difficult) in my book Single Mom You Aren’t Alone; I wrote about how society would answer the 2 questions above. It’s funny how people who have no say-so in your life have all the answers and want to give you their 2 cents! I can appreciate others who have experienced the same/similar journey and give me some insight that will help me in this life as a single mom but when people want to tear you down; where is the fun in that? Help me to get better; not insult me and think that’s going to help.

In Chapter 6 (Be Your Best Self) I speak about my journey, like when I had to remind myself to take care of me; so I can properly take care of my kids. If I get sick, who would care for them? We get so caught up in caring for and taking care of our kids we sometimes neglect ourselves and that can’t be the case; single mom take care of yourself, keep you healthy and then you can be there to properly care for your kids. Don’t let negativity have control or even a place in your life! I combat that with lots of positive self talk,affirmations and reading the bible; you put in positive and the outcome will be positive!

Single mom if no one else will say it! I will; you are awesome! You are appreciated! You are the best mom you can be and you will only get better! Believe it! Receive it ! And walk in it.

Stay blessed,

Your friend and Single Mom of Purpose

Tamara

The Up and Coming Entrepreneur, Do You Need Some Inspiration?

  1. Who is Ty Lewis?

Ty: Ty Lewis is a wife, mom, entrepreneur, a change agent, and a God fearing woman.

  1. Have you always had the entrepreneur mindset?

Ty: I would have to say yes due to me always having a gig on the side; while working my 9 to 5, I was always doing something that would lead me to where I am now. When I moved to Atlanta by faith, I started tutoring kids as a way to bring in an income while trying to obtain a full-time job. Five years ago it was nowhere in my mind that I would be a full-time entrepreneur, doing full-time ministry, and owning my own building.

  1. When did you know it was time to start your business?

Ty: When I started getting tired and uncomfortable with my 9 to 5, I no longer wanted to be comfortable where I was! God spoke to me in January 2015 and said it was time to move and walk into your purpose; what you were called to do. I started writing it down and making it clear that it was time to go; it was time to move. What I was called to do couldn’t be done while working a regular job.

  1. If I’m not mistaken you have a non-profit, correct? Why non-profit instead of for profit?

Ty: Yes I do have a non-profit called educationally speaking center for learning and we are in East Pointe, GA. With a non-profit I’m able to do so much more in and for the community while being community based. By being community based those in the community can benefit from the programs that we are offering as well as those in the surrounding areas.

  1. What is your biggest challenge in business?

Ty: Being that we are a non-profit I would have to say raising funds and getting my message across that education and reading are so vital in a young child’s life. I want all the kids that come through our doors to have that reading advantage and not to be behind like many children in other areas. Society will have people thinking that reading isn’t important when in fact it’s very important and that’s why I’m such a strong advocate for it; I’m very passionate about it. We have children that come in and have no knowledge of reading and I do my best to inform the parents that their child needs that foundation and it can take them anywhere in life. Being able to read is a gift and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.

  1. How do you juggle it all? Wife, mom, entrepreneur and a change agent, how do you get it all done?

Ty: I juggle it through grace! I get asked that question a lot and my answer has always been, I don’t know, lol. When you are in the will of god you just don’t think about it because you know if you are walking in your purpose; he is going to give you the grace to do what you have to do. My husband is a wonderful asset in this whole equation and never once does he complain when doing household chores or getting the kids from school. He understands the vision and pushes me to new heights. I have amazing kids that understand that mommy has to be at work sometimes 12 hours a day building a legacy for them. When you are juggling lots of hats, each one has to have its own special place; work stays at work. Once I get home them my mommy and wife hat goes on and my god fearing women hat never comes off. Balance is highly necessary when you are a full-time entrepreneur.

  1. What advice would you give to an aspiring entrepreneur?

Ty: Seek God before you set out and make any types of moves. Let God lead you down the right path, in doing that those doors will just open, you won’t have to bust it down. He will send you all the right people to make your purpose complete. You won’t have to do it alone once you seek him in prayer. Don’t think everyone will be a big supporter of you making the move from employee to entrepreneur. Don’t even look for them to be. I had people supporting my business that I had never met or seen before be my biggest supporters and it was all in god’s hands.

  1. You are also a speaker how did that come about? And what advice would you give to an aspiring speaker?

Ty: My mom started me in Jack & Jill in middle school where I was able to hone in on this gift by entering contests that took me to the state  competition  and from that point on people were always encouraging me to continue in that journey. I would go and speak at churches and people that heard me were just amazed at how good I was.

My mom and brothers all speak so that gift has always been in me but my advice would be to those looking to become a speaker is to invest in yourself; go to the toastmasters classes, always be around those that are better than you in that area in which you are obtaining to reach and never be intimidated, find a mentor, in any field you are seeking to go into you should have a mentor.

  1. How do you inspire others?

Ty: I inspire others with my truth and my walk as a Christian. Everything I say and even post on social media reflects my walk with God. I don’t want to be that person that could be a stumbling block for someone else. If I say I believe in Christ and I am a changed person then that has to be seen in my every day journey.

My goal in speaking with Mrs. Lewis was to speak with someone that inspires me on a daily basis with her inspirational, motivational and spirit filled messages that she posts all over social media. It is so important that no matter the life you choose for yourself that you find someone that can be an inspiration. More importantly you want to gain insight, knowledge and wisdom from those that are doing what you hope and aspire to do; so they can show you the way.

I want to thank Mrs. Ty Lewis for taking time out of her day to speak with me and give insight into the life of an entrepreneur! For whomever is reading this I pray you have been inspired.

Check out Ty Lewis on these social media sites as well as her website:

Website: http://www.educationallyspeaking.net

Instagram @speaker14

Facebook: Ty Lewis

Periscope: @speaker1414

Twitter: @speaker1414

 

 

Single Mom Thoughts

Do you think you are alone Single Mom?

Do you really want to be a Single Mom? I don’t think anyone of us woke up one morning and said, “My desire is to have kids and do it alone”! Can you honestly answer the question and be okay with your answer? Being a single mom may be one of the hardest things to do, (I wanted to say job, but many don’t look at being a mom as a job) especially when you love your kids with all your heart and soul; but when you are doing the role of mommy and daddy it can seem like a job.

Can you answer the question honestly?

Will it mean you don’t want to be a mom? No, but it will shed some light on any issues you are covering up and not willing to face! I know I have been there and it wasn’t pretty for many years. I was upset, and I was angry, and it held me hostage; why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to endure this journey by myself? While it does get hard at times; this is a journey that has really changed my life and opened my eyes. You find out so many of your strengths and weaknesses and how much you really can endure.

These are some of the issues I had going on inside that shown on the outside. Maybe you can relate?
Rejection: I really felt rejected! Not only by him but others around me. People treated me different like I had the plague or something. Sometimes I would tell myself: “you may have left him but did he really didn’t want to be here in the first place?” It took me years to finally forgive myself for thinking I was the problem; yes I made the choice to get in the relationship but I didn’t sign on for the mistreatment or the disrespect. When a father leaves his children and doesn’t look back; it’s like a slap in the face. I finally got over that and I’m here to tell you, so can you!
Self-hate: I would blame myself because he was no longer there. What did I do? I should have treated him better. I could have done what he asked of me. Does any of this sound familiar? If so please stop! You or I didn’t do this, and we as women shouldn’t have to lower ourselves; or our standards to please anyone! Especially someone that doesn’t and didn’t appreciate us!
We have to remember we do have a choice between life and death; what do you choose? I chose life and I have never looked back; my children and I matter and I want better. What about you?