12 Years Single and Counting: From The Desk of a Single Mom

For some; 12 years may seem like a long time. Many think of it only being 12 years of not being in a committed relationship; this is 12 years and counting of no relationship, no dating and no sexual relations!

Very big difference…Anyone can be single but single and no sex; is a whole different ball game! A ball game that many would rather not attend or even be part of.

Some people will tell you that they can’t live without sex! I tell them I’ve had enough sex; to last me a lifetime! Lust isn’t something I’m looking forward to for the rest of my life; I want real unconditional and mutually given love. I’ve had the one sided relationships were you’re the only one interested in commitment and all they want is sex; no thanks I’ll pass.

None of us are perfect! We as women fall for some make believe jokers; who are counterfeit and deceptive. We fell for it; but, don’t allow that to stop you from being an effective woman and an awesome single mom! I’m speaking from experience; I was led to believe that nobody wanted me with kids! Let me tell you somebody wants me! God wants me! God created me to be a purpose-driven woman and can’t no grown boy come in and change that; not anymore!

12 Years Single and Counting:

I didn’t always believe this; I had to get to this place! I had to do my work! I had to release and get delivered from so much that sought to take me out! I had time to get to know me and finally began to love myself….

I became a better Mom! My relationship with my kids was always good; but, it amplified once I surrendered and submitted to God and gave Him my all..

I became a better Woman!

A Purpose-Driven Woman!

A Determined Woman!

A Godly Woman!

A Spiritual Woman!

A Renewed Woman!

I’ve always had the desire to be married but I wanted to be married; to the right man! I didn’t and still don’t believe in divorce. I knew the grown boys that I was playing house with were definitely not fit to fill the role of husband! And, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for the imposters that the enemy had set before me..

3 takeaways I want to leave with you:

1. Don’t allow a defeated mindset to lead you!

2. Don’t allow your right now situation to overtake you.

3. Don’t allow the past situations to immobilize you.

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

Advertisement

If these Eyes could Talk: #SpiritualSundays

If these Eyes could Talk…

If you’re eyes could speak; what would they say? What would be revealed to those around you? What would they see that you don’t want them to see? So many that are in this world do the most trying to keep what they’ve done and been apart of under wraps!!

But those that have come to love and know the Lord; know that all that has to come out of you if you’re to be renewed and saved in God!

You release all those things that used to be a part of you when you were of the world! You don’t hold on to that stuff just in case you need it again!

When you’ve chosen, decided to be one with Christ; why would you need the things that you possessed when you were in the camp of the enemy?

So when you’ve taken up residence in the Kingdom of God; you have no need for those type things! Those type people! Those type places!! Why is their number still in your phone? Why do you still have them in your fav five? Why are they still on speed dial? How are you still reminiscing over and over in your head of how it used to be?

God is trying taking you to a new place! A higher level! A place where your eyes have not seen and your eyes haven’t heard the singing and chirping of these birds! The air is fresher and the flowers bloom over here differently! You haven’t seen this place but you’re looking back and wanting that old, raggedy life back!

You want that man that was beating you down! Telling you that you’re nothing and nobody wants you and leaving you for another woman every chance he gets! This is what you want?

God is giving you is best and you want someone’s sloppy seconds? Really? You want a man that doesn’t know who he is and who he belongs to? God wants to give you a man that will love you and you alone but you want a man that is married to another woman? You want a man that will sit at home and play video games while you’re out working to pay all the bills and provide for your children! God wants to send you a man that will allow you to stay home and raise your kids, get a degree and start your own business but you want a grown boy who don’t want you to know more than him because he knows you will eventually leave him!

Is this what Lot’s wife saw when she looked back? Or did she see those men that came to her house that night and wanted to be one with the angels that God sent to free her family? They weren’t looking to give their life back to God they wanted to impose their way of life; on those that were sent and called by God! How could she looked back on that place and want to go back there?

How could you not listen to your husband; when he told you not to look back? What was so good back there that you just had to get one more look?

I don’t know Lot’s wife name but I would ask her; was it worth it? I would also ask the Israelites that took all that time 40 years because they just couldn’t listen to the messengers of God?

What was so good while you were bound that you fought so hard to stay in that same mindset?

Instead of looking back and wishing you could go back; why not thank God from what He brought you out of?

1. He saved me from the hands of 2 abusers!

2. He saved me from drinking my life away!

3. He saved me from a promiscuous lifestyle!

4. He saved me from believing all the negative words; people spoke over my life.

5. He has kept me in my right mind!

6. He saved me from settling for potential; when His greatest is on the way!!

This is not even close to all God has did for me!

What has God did for you?

Written and published by Tamara D. McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!

#SpiritualSundays: The Process is Necessary

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV)

Getting to the promise land; wasn’t an easy task! The Israelites had to go through the process! Getting to the Cross; wasn’t an easy task! Jesus had to go through the process!

One thing that I love to do is break down the meaning of words; so we all can be on the same page. What does the word process mean?

Definition of process:

  1. “a systematic series of actions directed to some end: to devise a process for homogenizing milk.

  2. a continuous action, operation, or series of changes taking place in a definite manner: the process of decay.”

Both of these definitions give you the meaning of the word process and a visual to aid you in getting the full meaning of the word.

This allows you the ability to know that going through a process isn’t going to be easy! You won’t have that microwave effect; pop it in and in 2 minutes your popcorn kernels are complete and full of flavor! Life and the trials and tribulations you go through won’t have that effect…

The Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years! Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights; they both had to go through their own individual process! The levels of what they had to endure were different; but the outcome were similar in nature. The Israelites were attempting to get to the “Promise Land” and Jesus was on his journey to the “Cross”. Both of these encounters were necessary because it teaches us the path that they each had to take to get to their end result! Their blessing!

But guess what? They had to go through the process! Jesus’ time in the desert wasn’t as extensive has the Israelites because “He was about His Father’s business”, He had been groomed for it..(process)…Jesus didn’t come on the scene; until He was well into His 30’s; what do you think He was doing in that time? Being groomed and processed!

The Israelites had been in captivity for many, many years; they had learned behaviors that had to be unlearned! Removed and burned away! How are you held against your will, taught to bow down to foreign practices and be able to just walk into “The Promised Land” ready to walk into your God given purpose; full of blessings and favor, with old baggage? How are you going to be effective for the Kingdom of God?

So many people; including myself want(ed) the microwave (fast) effect to coming out of captivity (trials-tribulations-wilderness-darkness-etc

We want to lay down one day and wake up the next with a changed attitude, a renewed heart, a new lease on life, favor that was endless and more abundance than we can stand!

But guess what? The process is necessary to remove and discard of everything that you picked up and allowed to attach itself to you along the way!

When Jesus was crucified it was a 3 day process before He rose!! But catch this; He had to go through the process of being tempted, being in the wilderness fasting and praying, raising up His disciples and having many of them turn their backs on Him, turning water into wine, walking on water, casting out demons; I can keep going but I think you get what I’m saying!

Jesus has to do something’s! He had to be processed to be prepared to be crucified and then lifted up!! He had to go through the process to get to His finish line!! His victory dance!!

The Israelites’ process took a little longer; 40 years is a long time to be in the wilderness; but guess what? God took care of them the whole time!! He provided for them; he clothed, fed them and gave them shelter! But guess what? They complained and didn’t want to listen to His instructions! They argued with Moses and Joshua more than they listened and followed instructions!

God gave them the tools necessary to get to the “Promise Land” the keys to open up their destiny but they cried, complained and rejected the “process”..

Were they this defiant when they were in bondage? In captivity? Do you remember them saying that they were better off when they were with their oppressor?

How many of us think that our lives were better when we were living as we wanted to? When we were sinning and fornicating? Going to clubs and grinding all up on people; we didn’t even know? Stealing, cursing, doing and selling drugs, etc.. The enemy loves to hold you captive, remind you of the “good ole days” when you were “free”… How does any of those types of behaviors have you free when you’re being held captive and racking up strong holds, generational curses, and soul ties?

To rid of everything that isn’t of God! You have to go through the process of removing it and cutting it off! Will it be easy? No.. Will it be fun? No… Will you enjoy it? No.. But catch this; it’s all worth it; in the end!!!!!!

Jesus got seated at the right hand of the Father; after His process…The Israelites walked or some may have crawled into the “Promise Land”, their entourage was a little light because of their process; but they eventually got there…if they would’ve got on board sooner than later; their process could’ve been quicker!

How much longer are you going to complain? How much longer are you going to fight the process? How much longer are you going to pout and be disobedient?

Let me be the 1st one to tell you; you are holding up your process! You are holding up your blessings, your favor, your abundance; all because you want to have it your way! Guess what? You have to rid yourself of everything that you carried with you while you were in enemy territory! That baggage has to be disposed of! All those un-godly thoughts and practices you picked up while hanging out with the enemy; has to go!

How can God bless you when you’re trying to figure out ways to flip it and make it multiply? How can God bless you when you thinking of ways to sleep your way to the top? How can God bless you when you scheming to take out your competition?

Anything that is “worth” having is going to come with a process!! You want to be refined! You want to be renewed! Washed in the blood! Come out of the fire; untouched!! You have to go through the process!! The “promise land” comes with obedience, blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice and a burning off of the old man; that old woman!! Are you up for the challenge? The process? The re-awakening? This only happens when you say Yes to Our Heavenly Father..the choice is yours!! What do you choose Life or Death?

References used:

http://www.dictionary.com

http://www.biblegateway.com

Written and published by Tamara McCarthy

©2019 Copyrighted

Tamara McCarthy Enterprises

Check me out on Instagram: http://instagram.com/singlemomofpurpose and http://instagram.com/author_tamaramccarthy

Check out my podcast on https://anchor.fm/tamara06 or

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/single-mom-of-purpose/id1446968952?mt=2&uo=4 or https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84MmM2MTM4L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Check out my books on Amazon: https://bit.ly/author_tamara

And, if this is your first time on my blog let me introduce myself.

I wear many hats! I am a Kingdom Gal! I am a Jesus Chic! I am an Author, Writer, Motivator, Single Mom and Certified Life and Empowerment Coach! I am earning my Phd in Christian Counseling; so that I can continue my passion and purpose to inspire, motivate, empower and encourage young ladies and women to live a better life!

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post; it is greatly appreciated!