When Parenting Takes A Wrong Turn.


Have you reached your limit?

If I was standing in front of you giving this message I would ask “How many of you have reached your limit?” Many of you would look around and wonder what I was referring too.

So many of us have been pushed and pushed until we have exploded and done something crazy like responding. Why you ask is it crazy to respond?

Turn the other cheek!

In the Christian world so many leaders teach as well as the Bible to turn the other cheek and if I’m not mistaken; this is when you are under attack? Am I wrong? Let’s look at the scripture and see what it says:

“You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away”. Matthew 5:38-42 (NKJV)

Now that we have read the scripture let’s dive into this scenario: you’re a single Mom or even a Single Dad and your children go to visit the other parent and their new mate and while there it is demanded that they respect the new mate. Nothing has happened, they haven’t step out of line, before they enter the house; these are the instructions! (think on that; go deep and then deeper)

Now, there is nothing wrong with this scenario if respect is given and taught across the board! In many cases, one parent can be disrespectful to the other while they are around the children and often while they aren’t! But children watch and listen like hawks and as parents it is our job to lead and guide them down the right paths and train them in the right way to act and respond; am I right? How can you make demands on one hand and let them slide on the other? Is that proper parenting? You can’t half raise or train your children because it will confuse them and may lead to problems down the line.

To prove my point let’s look again at scripture:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) 

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”. Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV)

It takes a village; or so they say!

Raising children, especially brown and black children is hard enough in this day and age; without the other parent, not completely and properly doing their part! We as parents must lay the foundation for our children to stand on! We must be the example! So many children are wandering around in this world lost and confused and it starts with the parents! Boys especially look up to their fathers if he is around (even when he isn’t around) no matter how much or how less time they have with him! Use that power to do right by your children! (Absentee parents)


Let me give you a visual:

Mommy left daddy and decided she would put her children first and foremost and hasn’t dated in years. Daddy decided he would continue to date others and not play an active role in the children’s lives but gets them for the weekend occasionally. Throughout the years he hasn’t participated in the raising, discipline or correction of the children when it comes to them respecting and obeying their mother but on the other hand demands they obey and respect his new mate; is there something wrong with this picture?

When you read and think about this scenario go deeper! Mom is constant in their lives in many cases throughout the world, right? Dad is part-time on occasion and it is like a getaway from rules, correction, discipline, etc. Is it so hard or so far-fetched that the other parent makes sure their child is acting and responding properly on all occasions? Respect your mom/dad, obey your mom/dad, listen to your mom/dad, etc. What can happen if your child is with the mom 99% of the time and they don’t respect and obey her? What can go wrong? 


Couples break up and move on all the time! You can be mad and in your feelings but that shouldn’t ever reach the ears and eyes of your children! Respect is taught! Obedience is taught! No matter what went on within your adult relationship you still have children that will one day be adults in this crazy world! How do you prepare them the right way; if they aren’t willing to listen and take instruction? They have been shown and taught that they don’t have to respect and obey you; so how do you get them on the right track?


Let me also insert this for you to read and think about:

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. John 10:10 (NKJV)


Our children aren’t exempt from the hands of the enemy! Why would you willingly deliver them to him? When you not only allow but teach them to do wrong; you’re a part of the problem! We all have a choice between life and death; is it really that hard to make the right choice to do and be the best that we can be; no matter the situation?


Prayer is needed for all (parents and children) in these types of scenarios! Prayer will change the outcomes and bring relief to the parent that needs that comfort of knowing they aren’t alone! No parent should feel that they are at their wits end! It takes 2 people to have a child and it should be 2 that are raising the child; either together or apart! When another party comes into the equation understandably respect should be in place but it should never be withheld from the child’s natural parent!

Just think about it.

When you take the time, and practice this on a regular basis and it is a daily requirement across the board; then there is no need to make demands.

In the end, when it’s all said and done; who is the victim in all of this and who gets hurt the most? When the adults can’t come to an agreement to raise respectable and obedient children? Who gets the victory?

Pray it Out

Heavenly Father it is my prayer to the woman or man reading this, the mother or father that is dealing with the same situation that you stand in the gap for them! Send help their way, a listening ear, an emphatic heart and a compassionate listener; that will allow them to get it all out and respond with the loving kindness that only you can provide. We know that stress is deadly and not having others by your side in your time of need, to hear your pleas for help is known to many; but we thank you Father God, that you are always there and will always come just in the nick of time! And we love and appreciate you for that.

We need you to speak and act accordingly, on our behalf to the other party that has been going against your instructions and your commands. Father God when it comes to the raising and training of our children that you Father God have blessed us with! We will continually seek and do our best to follow your word but we need it to be so on both sides!

There can be no room for the enemy to wiggle his ugly head into this equation to cause division and strife! We come against him right now in the mighty name of your son Jesus! We deny his access into our lives and our children’s lives! There must be unity and all personal feelings need to be put aside for the continual protection for the children! In Jesus mighty name we pray, Amen.


Reflect on these scriptures and now that God has your back!

“The Lord will fight for you, and you will hold your peace” Exodus 14:14 (NKJV)

“You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem! Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you”. 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NKJV)

copyright-symbol.png 2017 Tamara McCarthy Enterprises/Kingdom Royalty Publishing

If you are a single mom/woman check out these book titles:

Single Mom You Aren’t Alone: Becoming A Single Woman of Purpose. Written by Tamara D McCarthy and The Single Woman Chronicles: God, Men & You. available at http://www.amazon.com for an autographed copy contact the author.



Published by

Tamara Mccarthy Enterprises

Tamara is an Author, Writer, Motivator and Single Mom! She is earning her PHd in Christian Counseling; and has always had a passion to inspire and motivate young ladies and women and now it has become her purpose in life. She is also a Certified Life and Empowerment Coach.

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