Month: September 2016

The Power of Having a Choice: What do you Choose?

Did you know you have power?
We have a choice each morning we are blessed to open our eyes! We can control our attitudes and our responses to what comes our way.
I used to have a problem with road rage! I would get so upset when someone cut me off! But when I stopped and thought about it; who was I hurting? Nobody but myself! I was raising my own blood pressure and possibly causing harm to my heart; due to the stress. Wasn’t worth it; I want to live a long and healthy life. 
Now when I’m on the road; I give those people who want to get a rise out of me their space! I stay far away from them and my drive is so stress-free. I control how I’m going to react and I love it and so does my blood pressure and my heart! Lol.
This can apply in so many different situations; I’m sure you can think of a few. 
Who to love?

How to love?

Getting saved?

Living right?

Being changed?

Showing compassion?

Giving up negative behaviors?

Thinking before you speak?

To forgive?

Changing your outlook?
Try it out and see how it works for you!
Until next time…

Tamara
http://www.tamaramccarthyenterprises.com

Instagram @singlemomofpurpose

Twitter @tamaradelovely

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Hand Me Down Living: Tarsha Campbell. #SpiritualSundays

HAND ME DOWN LIVING

In my family I am the second oldest child. Anyone who knows what it’s like not to be the oldest child in the family birth order, knows more than likely you will be the recipient of your older sibling’s hand-me-down clothes. This is especially true if your family didn’t have a lot of money in the family budget for clothes. With this being the case for me, even after I reached the place wear I could afford to buy new clothes I still would be drawn to the thrift stores to purchase someone else’s donated hand-me-downs. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with shopping in thrift stores, but read further to hear my point.

One day as I was feeling the gravitational pull to go browse the aisles of my neighborhood thrift shop, I stopped in. Once there, I heard the Holy Spirit clearly say to me, “What are you doing in here?” I began to think to myself, “Yeah, why am I here?” From a financial standpoint, God had been good to my husband and I, and there really wasn’t any reason why I needed to shop in the thrift stores anymore. However, although my financial situation had changed, my mindset and old belief system had not. Mentally I had gotten use to “hand-me-down living“. But in order for me to break free from the downward gravitational pull of my past patterns I had to make a conscious decision to move forward and up.

How about you? Are there areas in your life you have settled for “hand-me-down living“? Do you gravitate to old ways and patterns the Father has delivered you from all because you haven’t changed your mindset? Are you stuck because you live according to old belief systems past down from previous generations? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions I want to encourage you to make a conscious decision to move forward and refuse to live your life based on hand-me-down mindsets and belief systems. God has given you so much, and now is the time to walk into the newness of life. You can do it! Just take that first step inwardly and the rest of you will follow. Be blessed.

Your Next Step Coaching For Success Minute:

 

• What are the old patterns and belief systems that keep you in endless ruts?

• What steps can you take break free from these endless ruts?

• Move forward with your plan.

 

Get to know Tarsha Campbell: http://www.TarshaCampbellEmpowers.com

 

© Tarsha L. Campbell, All Rights Reserved, Use only with permission

 

Who Are You Raising? #SpiritualSundays

With so much going on in the world today; I thought this would be a good topic to reflect on! I had to get my approach in the right place and get my emotions in check before I touched on the subject and hopefully it will reach someone.

Proverbs 22: 6 says this “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it“. (NKJV)

Society is always saying that it starts at home!

Who are you raising? Are you raising your children to become strong young boys and young ladies that can be respectful and considerate of others? That will show others kindness and love? That will be compassionate to those in need and empathize with situations even if they don’t comprehend the full reality? Kids grow up to become adults and we have to remember while it may start at home; it continues into adulthood! (Something to think about).

Who are you connected to?

John 15: 5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing.” (NKJV)

I can honestly say; I have never received a call thus far about any of my children from teachers about them disrupting their class at school or being disrespectful. All of their teachers have always praised them for being good kids.

Now at home may be a different story! Lol they are in their element; their natural habitat around family and are bound to show out! When they leave out that door I have always raised and taught them to be on their best behavior! They not only represent themselves but their parent(s). What parent wants to know their child is acting a fool out in public? In society where there is criticism every way you turn? You can raise good kids but once they walk out that door with their friends and break loose and things get out of hand; they are looked upon as a villain, thug, terrorist; what have you because society likes to use labels. They could be on their way to the movies, store, mall, school, sporting event, work etc and still be considered a threat.

Please open the book and read; before you judge!

In some cases the label may be in fact a true character example; but what about when it’s not? Some of us will believe what we are told with doing absolutely no research or investigation of our own! The news says that he had a gun; he was robbing someone, he was out there selling drugs!

John 15: 18-19 “If the world hates you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (NKJV)

5 Things That Can Change the World We Live In

1. Manners: Are you teaching them about using manners? These are so important to instill in our children; it goes along way! Hello. Thank you. How are you? Excuse me. I’m sorry. Very simple words can change the world; don’t you agree?

2. Compassion/Sympathy:  Are you teaching them about compassion and sympathy? I don’t know  or haven’t experienced what you have; but I’m still sorry for what you are going through (this is how we are to respond to what others are facing or may be facing; we don’t assume or point fingers).

3. Empathy: Are you teaching them about empathy? You put yourself in the shoes of others; you try to understand their feelings, situations what have you. You give and show your support; not criticize what you don’t know.

4. Color Blind: Are you teaching them that we all come in different shades of color; and that we are all still the same? We bleed the same blood? We cry the same tears? We all feel pain? Have you taught them that?

5. Love: Are you teaching them to love themselves as well as others? So many of our children are growing up unloved! They become adults whom don’t know how to love or be loved? Do you tell them that you love him or her?

Prayer Has Never Hurt Anybody!

Heavenly Father there is so much going on in the world today; Father help us! There is so much hatred, heartache and pain! Father we need you! We need your protection Lord, the enemy has been very busy; our children, our fathers, our sisters, our brothers. Cover us Lord like only you can; block the enemy and keep us far from his reach. In the mighty name of your son Jesus! Amen.

 

 

 ©Tamara McCarthy Enterprises 2016 

Free Your Mind Friday: Get your Mind Right

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. Romans 12:2 ESV

It’s time to get your mind right! It’s Friday! The day many couldn’t wait to get here; the question is what are you going to do? Get out and have some fun? Attend some events? Go on a mini retreat? All of these are good ways to free your mind of the daily stress it takes on. 

Don’t go home and replay the week all over again in your head! Whatever happened; let it stay there. Better yet pray about it! Pray that it will get better, pray for the person or group of people that may have caused your week to be stressful and crazy, and pray for yourself and your mind.

We all have bad weeks don’t allow it to ruin your day; don’t let it steal your joy. 

Heavenly Father I want to pray for the individual reading this on today. I want to pray for their mind, body, soul and spirit. When we get stressed it affects so many other aspects of our lives and we need to be physically, emotionally, and mentally fit; to take on the day and whatever comes our way. Heavenly Father continue to protect our mind from corruption and destruction! Protect our hearts from hardening towards anyone who may try to cause negativity to flow through our lives. Guard us from the people, places and things that don’t serve us well and try to cause harm or confusion. All these things we pray in the mighty name of your son Jesus! Amen.

Why Are You Still Single? #SpiritualSundays


There are so many reasons and answers to this question to singles around the globe. You can be a veteran single or even a newbie; and whatever the reason or answer you give the person; it wouldn’t suffice!

One thing that people need to realize especially if you are a spiritual person first and foremost; is that it has to be the will of our Heavenly Father that you get married and stay married! That you are qualified ready; in body, mind, soul and spirit!

The meaning of qualified as it relates to this article: : having the necessary skill, experience, or knowledge to do a particular job or activity : having the qualifications to do something. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2015)

Now many will say what in the world is she talking about? People get married every single day and it doesn’t matter if they are qualified ready or spiritual! And you know what I say to that look at all these failed marriages, the divorce rates and people killing off their spouse so they can be with the next person! They weren’t ready! Their mind, body, soul or spirit wasn’t ready for the blessing! Being tempted is a terrible thing that the weak can’t handle! Strong willed, strong minded and spiritually fit individuals can win this battle anytime; any place! But you have to be ready!

Let’s take a look of some of the reasons that many people; men and women aren’t ready to be married.

Reasons why you are still single: Don’t compromise or lower your standards! (Can apply to men and women) Good for you but bad for them.

1. They don’t respect you! Ephesians 5:3

2. They are afraid of heights! 

You know your purpose and are walking in it and it’s too much for them; they want all your time and attention.

3. They will dim your shine!

To keep you from advancing in life, your career etc they will be negative and speak negatively towards you and what your trying to accomplish.

4. They aren’t spiritually mature! Hebrews 5:13-14

5. They can’t give up self for us: Ephesians 5:31

Reasons why you are still single: Workable points

1. You aren’t ready (Men & Women): Ephesians 5:8-14

Many singles will verbalize that they are ready to settle down; but their actions tell a different story.

2. You haven’t done your work (Men & Women): 2 Corinthians 6:14

Your past can’t follow your future!

3. You don’t know how to be submissive (Women): Ephesians 5:22-24

So many of us don’t want a man to tell us nothing! Some of us don’t know how to be the Princess or Queen we are called to be! Yes we can be royalty but the Prince or King were created to lead.

4. You can’t let go (Men & Women): 1 Corinthians 11:1

Are you following in close proximity or lagging behind?

5.  You haven’t figured out your why (Men & Women): Jeremiah 29:11

We all were created for a purpose and have a mission to fulfill; what is yours? 

Adam wasn’t complete until Eve came along! Adam had purpose but he needed a help-meet to fulfill it! Our Heavenly Father knew what Adam needed in a woman and ‘he‘ made sure she was well put together! Eve was qualified ready! Many of us have to let go and allow Our Heavenly Father to do some reconstructive surgery, because of the journey we decided on before we knew him; it changed our inner and outer appearance and know our suitable mate can’t recognize us!

This is going to take some time and effort on our part and we have to be in it for the long haul. Pay no mind to the question seekers; find something positive that will keep you focused (like your purpose/mission). If you’re going to date; be upfront and honest with the individual. Many people say you shouldn’t mention marriage early on and I say why not? You are dating to become married right? Why go through the motions with someone only to learn months down the line; they have no intentions to get married to you or anyone? Not to say the first person you will date is going to be your spouse; but both parties have to be on the same page.

There are some of us singles that may choose not to date (me) we would actually like to do our work and (all those points that you read above) get on one accord with Our Heavenly Father and let the chips fall as they may. (It can be a choice and it could be that Our Heavenly Father has placed some of us in Solitary Confinement) Not anyone of us are perfect; but it’s not a secret that we are on different levels and on different journeys. We can’t compare or contrast ourselves as singles or individuals but we can encourage, empower, motivate and inspire others to do and be their best!


 Song by Troop (Spread My Wings) 

Hook:

“The sky is calm

The stars are bright.

What’s better than to be in flight..

I’ll relax my mind

And be at ease….

And let this journey

Set me free

Set me free”

 

Single Women I wrote a book that gives more in depth feedback about getting to the place where you are ready; it is called The Single Woman Chronicles: God, Men & You. It is available by clicking here and purchasing through PayPal http://www.paypal.me/tamaramccarthy/12 or by clicking here and purchasing through Amazon http://amzn.to/2ckRE0C

 

References Used:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/qualified

http://www.songlyrics.com/troop/spread-my-wingslyrics/#ZkTEoiLhK4piMGlc.99

Free Your Mind Friday’s 


It’s finally here y’all; the day many of us can’t wait to get too!! Friday oh how I love thee; let me count the ways! 

Many of you are excited and jumping up and down because it’s pay day! Well hip hip hooray! Lol, there are some of us just super excited it’s the end of the workweek!! Hallelujah 

Sometimes all you can do on Friday and over the weekend is take a mental break! The work week can be hectic for many especially those with kids! Getting them up for school, fixing them breakfast, getting them dressed; and take them to their bus stop. Then you have to get back home get yourself ready for work, feed and walk your pets, fix you some breakfast or grab something on the way and then get to work! And then once you get to work depending on your job; that can be hectic as well! Is it just me or do I have some witnesses ready to testify?

So what is a girl or guy to do to de-stress?

1. Meditate! Do you remember Martin Lawrence in the movie called Bad Boys? The scene when he was really irritated and he remembered his therapy technique to calm himself down; he rubbed his ears and spoke this words: “Woosah” and then he karate kicked something! Lol this is way different and really simple; close your eyes and take a deep breathe, in and out and imagine yourself on a secluded island with no one and nothing to distract you or disturb your peace and quiet! “Woosah”

2. Get a massage! This is a great way to get your relaxation on and popping! Many places have the dim lights and sleepy time music playing! Hey what more can you ask for? Give it a try; you won’t regret it!

3. Get acupuncture! My absolute favorite! It a great stress reliever and takes away pain; its a double portion that you may not get with any other methods!!

4. Go on a weekend getaway and relax! Wherever you are in the world; I’m sure you have some pretty cool places around that you can visit on a Friday evening until Sunday morning! It doesn’t have to be far either; it can be the next town or city over. 

5. Reserve a tech-free day! You should try this once per week preferably Saturday or Sunday it will do your mind some good. Many of us have our phones on us at all the time and it does more harm than good; just think about it. You have all the news outlets at your disposal, social media accounts, etc. All of that media overload; your mind needs a break. 

Now one that I didn’t include in the lineup; is because this can be done any day of the week. Dancing; now I know some of you may not be the best dancer; but who cares! Do this in the comfort of your own home where nobody but you or your family can see you and get a good laugh; what better stress reliever is there than laughter!

Have an amazing weekend! Get your mind in relax mode and rock out!

Check out more on our website: 

http://bit.ly/Inspire_motivate

Coaching on Purpose: Winning Wednesday’s

Do you know the amount of people in this world that wake up each morning feeling defeated? 

Do you know how many of those same people go to sleep at night feeling defeated? 

I’m going to let you in on a little secret! Each day that you are able to get up and open your eyes; you have won the battle! 

Defeated people look and feel like they have lost something when they have in fact; gained so much more. 

They have the ability to start over! Recreate or invent a new way of looking at their life; why continue to feel defeat when you can change it and your overall outlook in your life? 

There are so many reasons why people feel defeated; these are just a few: 

1. Can’t find the right job suited for them.

2. Can’t seem to make enough money to pay all their bills.

3. Can’t seem to find the right soulmate.

4. Don’t feel like they are being an effective parent.

The way the job market is in many cities and states; people are being let go left and right! It looks like a disaster to them but if they really thought about it; it’s really a blessing! 

A new outlook that they would never have thought about if they were still employed; starting their own company gives them the opportunity to create stability for themselves and those they would need to hire. 

The jury is still out when it comes to dating. As a woman; are you supposed to go hunting for a guy? As a guy do you go out hunting for a woman? Is the guy supposed to make the first move or can the woman? What about these dating sites that everyone is using; is that the new way of dating? 

Think about this; maybe you haven’t been found by your soulmate because you haven’t found yourself? Maybe there is individual work that needs to be done; before anyone else is added to the equation. This isn’t a bad thing and the feeling of defeat has no home here! You want to recognize that you may need to work on yourself and any underlying issues now before your soulmate appears! 

Parenting can be a challenge but defeat can slide it’s way out the door; because even the best parents have their days when they want to run and hide. Kids are going to be kids! Spend some quality time with your child(ren) listen to them; interact with them; have some fun activities planned that they like and be more visible. So many times as parents we are trying to juggle this and that and we lose sight of what is really important! Kids don’t need and many don’t want a 4 course meal they want quality time with you! They don’t care about you trying to get rich they will settle for being comfortable and being able to see you every night at bedtime! 

Winning in life is easy! Get up every single day and don’t allow defeat to creep in! Take everything in stride as it comes into play; get your game plan together and execute it! You’re not defeated so whatever comes your way; you will find a way to work it out! 

Are you in need of a life coach? 

Someone to empower you throughout your journey?

The Life Empowerment Coach is taking new clients! 

Click here for more information:

bit.ly/empowered_coach

Keep Your Head Up!! Rock Out Monday’s: Employee Edition


Do you remember the words to the 2 Pac song Keep Your Head Up? Let’s look at the chorus portion of the song: 

[Chorus:]

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier

Ooooo child things are gonna get brighter [2x] (www.azlyrics.com)

Monday mornings is the hardest day of the week for an employee who absolutely dislikes their current job! Many people might say or even ask “if they dislike it so much then why are they there”? And the answer can be simple for many to say but unbelievable for many to hear; and it’s not just one answer it will be a few:

1. It’s all they could find! Many companies know with the current unemployment rate there are a pool of candidates that they have at their disposal and they know they can offer many candidates the lowest wage possible and they will take it; for people used to making a higher wage this is a kick in the face!

2. They have to support their family! Who wants to willingly give up their home, car and other possessions? Employees will take any job just to be able to pay their bills; put food on the table, clothe their kids and gas in their tank; heck even pay their rent. 

3. It’s hard in many areas (cities, states) to find a job that will hire you based on your experience, education, knowledge, potential and skill set! Many hiring managers are hiring based on their personal needs and wants! If they don’t like a potential candidate for whatever reason they will not hire them; and this is a fact. 

“Stop making excuses” will come out the mouths of many until it happens to them! There are so many that don’t know this fate; they have been on their jobs for years and they don’t keep up with the unemployment fiasco that many looking for employment have to go through and deal with!

Instead of adding to the stress of many hard working individuals just trying to stay afloat; give them some words of encouragement! “I know you don’t like this job and you are qualified for so much more; don’t give up or give in! Your breakthrough is coming! It may not be today, tomorrow or next week but keep pressing! Keep pushing!” 

References: 

Keep Your Head Up Lyrics: 2PAC

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/2pac/keepyaheadup.html

When the World Says No; But God Says Yes. Written by Bridget McCarthy: Spiritual Sunday’s 


 

We live in a world of uncertainty, but for all my spirit led men and women out there we already know we are not of this world, when the world says No, our Heavenly Father says Yes Sir/Ma’am!! I could just stop there and be done with it but I have some encouraging words for you.

It doesn’t matter how many doors get slammed in your face, literally and figuratively, or how many letters of rejection you get via email or even snail mail from all those jobs ads that you applied to that you know very well that you are more than qualified for. The scripture tell us “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NKJV)

Just know our Lord and savior will work it out. I know many of you, as myself would like this political election to just be over, “I swear ( I just want it) to be over, (I just want it) to be over” (Keisha Cole, 2005). Well, in a few short months it will be over and we will have a new president. 

The political candidates put in a lot of time and effort to prepare for their speeches and all those public appearances that they will be making; shaking hands, kissing those babies, just out on the campaign trail trying to sell themselves to the American people. Isn’t this much like preparing for that big job interview with that Fortune 500 Company; or the tech start-up company that just opened or the local grocer in your area? You have to have your suit pressed (steam pressed for me), shoes polished, hair and nails done.

As you’ll be making public appearance or many appearances. Ultimately, you’re selling yourself to that potential employer and in today’s job market you will find yourself making a number of pit stops and shaking a lot of hands. To be a man or women of color searching for employment in today’s society is just down right tough.

Once, you get invited into the establishment(s) and the hiring manager or managers see that you are of color they start to act very differently than they did during your initial phone interview. He/she now calls in another person to sit in on the interview with you and you’re just being told this today as your signing in at the front desk. The hiring manager is clearly nervous and goes off his/her script and begins to ask you “how are your writing skills?” And you don’t recall this being mentioned in the job posting or even a requirement of the position that you applied for. 

However, you respond by letting them know your skills are exceptional, on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9.5. Then you start to think, aren’t many of the greatest authors men and women of color?

Maya Angelou, James Baldwin, Toni Morrison and Langston Hughes just to name a few. Of course, the list can go on and on. Many employers and people with a hiring authority are knowingly going against the bibles daily truths, judge not so that I may not be judged, love one another as you love yourself, treat others as you would want to be treated. In fact, these individuals are taking an excerpt from the un moral book of ethics and they are creating hurdles and challenges for people of color that are seeking work opportunities.

 It’s unfortunate and it’s a shame for anyone to be in a position to make a hiring decision to disqualify someone based on the color of their skin, male vs. female, disabled or not, young or old. But you know what, it happens and it’s happening more than ever in this season. People that have a hiring authority are making their selections based off fear. Fear is one of many sins committed. I’m not sure why when Psalm 23:4 says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” New American Standard Bible (NASB) 

It’s clear and it’s evident that there are not enough Christian men and women left in this world that operate in a place of love, peace and kindness. Though, you may have hit a rough patch in your life or in your career just know there’s a remedy for that and his name is, Jesus.

It says in Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (English Standard Version, ESV).

Many people are not operating in their faith or even being led by the spirit but that’s where we, women and men of Christ come into play. 

I am a certified Human Resources professional of 16 years, with a Masters, Bachelor’s and Associate degree along with many other certifications and I have been in every one of those situations described above. Though, my name does not reflect it; I am a woman of color and I got into the field of Human Resources and Employment Consulting because of the underrepresentation of minority women. I speak from experience both good and bad, I’m an advocate for people no matter what their race, gender, age, veteran or disabled and wanted to share some insight into what many of you may or are currently facing in today’s job market not to discourage you but to encourage you. Please feel free to contact me via my link in Bio if you need guidance as it relates to employment consulting and seeking career opportunities or just need to know your rights as a potential job seeker. Be blessed and keep our Lord and Savior 1st place above all else. 

Bridget McCarthy, HRM, MBA, PHR  

 Bridget McCarthy currently resides in New Jersey. Bridget has 16 years of Human Resources experience including big box retailers, hospital systems and non-profit agencies. She holds a Master’s degree in Human Resources Management as well as a Bachelor and Associates degree. Bridget is PHR certified (Professional Human Resources) and a local, national member and affiliate of SHRM (Society of Human Resources Management) based in Virginia and IFEBPS (International Foundation on Employee Benefit Plans) a division of the Wharton School in Pennsylvania. 

Email her for your HR related questions at CertifiedHRprofessionals@gmail.com

References

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Joshua%201%3A9

https://www.theboombox.com/keyshia-cole-the-way-it-is-album/

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23%3A4&version=NASB

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A20-21&version=ESV